


A Different Goal

by Bookaholic346



Series: The Uchiha Differences [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Original Character(s), Uchiha Clan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-04-14 15:23:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 57,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4569501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookaholic346/pseuds/Bookaholic346
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke survived the Uchiha Clan Massacre, thanks to his older brother. The only problem is that he wasn't the only one Itachi saved, and now he has to live with the 17 extra kids that Itachi managed to protect as well! How will Sasuke cope with this new chapter in his life? Sequel to 'A Different Decision!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is a sequel to another fic called 'A Different Decision'. Originally, I wasn't going to continue this particular divergence from canon, but it felt rather unfinished, and I started to write from the point of view of Sasuke. Both 'A Different Decision' and this were originally posted on ff.net, and I'm in the process of switching over to also posting here (because I like this site much better, if I'm being honest). I haven't finished 'A Different Goal' yet, it is still a work in progress, but hopefully I'll have all the chapters I have written up to date and posted here as soon as possible.

Sasuke didn't even bother to call out as he stumbled through the entranceway of his home. There was no point. There was no way on earth anyone could possibly hear him over the racket anyway.

He pulled his sandals off, feeling a pout creeping up on him. He was tired, a little cranky and definitely a little sore from his training so he felt that for once in his life he was allowed to succumb to grumpiness. He tossed his sandals into the basket labelled with his name along the side of the nearby wall and slouched down the hallway, only speeding up as he passed the kitchen door so that Itachi wouldn't see him. If Itachi saw him, he would call out to him. If Itachi called out to him he would have to answer, because to ignore him would just be rude, but Sasuke didn't really feel like talking to him right now.

To be perfectly honest all Sasuke really wanted to do right now was slink up the stairs to his room and collapse on his bed, then commence sulking for at least a couple of hours until he felt less grumpy and irritable. In a perfect world he would avoid human contact until the sulk finished, but that was practically impossible to do in the Uchiha household. He may have successfully avoided the kitchen (his brother's lair) but during his trek down the hallway he managed to trip over one of the twins and collide with Arata as he darted across his path, diving from the laundry room into the living room with next to no warning. That's not to mention the fact that he almost got decapitated by the fuma shuriken Arata's older sister's was carrying as he climbed the stairs, or the fact that he was forced to stop and see if Junko was okay when he got to the top of the stairs. She was sprawled out over the hallway floor, crying her eyes out. When Sasuke picked her up and brushed her off it turned out to be only a stubbed toe, which only annoyed him further despite the fact he knew that she was only five and didn't know any better. Even though he was slowly getting grumpier, Sasuke bottled up his sulk for the five minutes needed to brush the small girls tears away and usher her into one of the older girl's rooms. Nine-year-old Hikari gathered up Junko with a smile, nodding at Sasuke, and then he was free to complete his arduous journey down to the last bedroom on the right: his.

Well, technically speaking, the room wasn't completely his own. Half belonged to Itachi. But seeing as Itachi really only used the room to sleep, the place was basically Sasuke's to do with what he liked. The room was a lot smaller than the fancy one that he used to have at the head house, back when the Uchiha clan lived in a district and not a converted medical centre, but he secretly liked this one better. For one, this room had bunk beds. Even better was the fact that his older brother slept in the bottom bunk, so at night when he woke up and felt scared all he had to do was listen to the quiet sound of Itachi's breathing to know that he wasn't alone. His room back at the old house had also been tidy, due to his parent's strict housekeeping rules. His new room was just as tidy (a lifetime of putting things away in their proper place when you were finished with them did not just disappear overnight) but Itachi had allowed him a lot more liberties when decorating. Sasuke had been the one to pick the colour that they painted the walls when the entire household had banded together to redecorate the converted building (now _that_ had been an interesting weekend). Mindful that his brother had to live with his choice too, Sasuke had chosen a creamy off-white for the walls, but had insisted that they paint the ceiling a navy blue. Itachi had initially been confused by the weird choice, but had let him do what he wished. Later, when Itachi wasn't looking, he had enlisted the help of Matsu (one of the only people strong enough to steady the ladder while he painted) to paint a shimmering mass of dots all over the ceiling in seemingly translucent paint. Itachi had been so surprised when he had flicked off the lights for the first time to see a sky full of stars twinkling down from their navy ceiling. He ruffled Sasuke's hair and called him 'the best little brother ever'. Sasuke still felt a warm feeling of pride every time he stared up at the starry ceiling.

Today, however, Sasuke did not look up at the ceiling. He was too depressed and grumpy for the magic of Itachi's praise to make him feel better. Instead, he dumped his school bag on his desk and scampered his way up the ladder of his bunk. When he got to the top he allowed his body to flop forward like a noodle onto the covers, planting himself face first into his mattress. Then he groaned into the blankets, knowing that they would muffle his noises of frustration. Not that there was a chance of anyone actually  _ hearing _ his noises of frustration: it was a madhouse outside his room. It was a miracle that anyone could hear themselves think.

Dimly, Sasuke wondered how his older brother was faring in the kitchen. The kitchen was the converted reception area, and as such it was structurally speaking the heart of the house. Everything on the ground floor flowed into the kitchen, even after the Hokage and Itachi had organised for builders to construct an entranceway and a hall to make it a separate room of it's own. It was no wonder that Itachi had set up base in there. If anyone ever needed him, they just gravitated to the kitchen, where they were almost guaranteed to find Itachi if he wasn't sleeping or away on a mission. Of course, this had the added disadvantage that often his older brother found himself overwhelmed, as several kids might come to the kitchen all at the same time seeking his help. He did his best, but it was chaotic at the best of times. Sasuke looked at the clock hanging on the wall above the door. It was getting close to six, which meant that Itachi was probably trying to cook dinner at the same time as helping four different people with their homework or sharpening someone's practice shuriken.

Sasuke started to feel a bit guilty. Here he was, sulking up in his bedroom while his older brother was working himself into a frenzy trying to take care of seventeen other children. He started wondering whether he should go down to the kitchen and offer to help, even if he was still in the grips of his sulk and avoiding Itachi. Was it worth it? Half of the time when he tried to help, he ended up doing more harm than good and only added to his brother's stress. Maybe it was a better plan to stay out of the way for a while. Sasuke looked away from the clock and turned his face to the wall, determined to wallow in his own bitterness for a while.

Now that Sasuke had forced himself to stop thinking about his brother, he found himself dwelling on the source of his grump again, which didn't really make him any happier. It was a silly little thing really, but it had still managed to get under his skin, and now here he was, venting his feelings by glaring at a wall.

It was all the fault of one of the stupid civilian kids in his class. He should have known better than to listen to one of those, but he couldn't help it. The kid was so loud the entire class heard what he said. The kid was either really stupid or nobody had ever taught him tact. Either way, he'd said some pretty cringe worthy things in the past so Sasuke, like most sensible people in the class, usually ignored him. Not today.

 

“ _Did you guys see the fourth years sparring today?” The kid nudged his friends._

“ _Duh, we all did,” One of the boys gathered around him rolled his eyes. “We were all sparring at the same time.”_

“ _The older kids are always so awesome!” Another kid piped up, awe misting up his nerdy glasses. “The way that they move is so cool!” The kid punched out his fist in a vain attempt to copy some of the strikes that they had seen the fourth years practising today. It wasn't as impressive as when the older kids did it. In fact, the weedy little guy nearly fell over._

“ _Yeah, 'cept that weird guy.” **that** kid said, smirking. “He was stupid.”_

“ _Who?” Someone asked._

“ _The weirdo that froze up and spazzed out when someone tried to punch him.” **that** kid said with a snigger._

“ _Oh, him.” One of the other kids nodded along. “Wonder what's up with that?”_

“ _Apparently he's a clan kid too.” **that** kid snorted. “Guess they aren't nearly as good as they think they are.”_

“ _Maybe he's just having an off day.” Someone suggested._

_ Then  **that** boy had the nerve to just downright laugh. “Nah.” he snickered. “That guy's useless: he's such a wimp that he can't even bring himself to hit any of the girls.” He laughed. “I wonder why they haven't kicked him out of the Academy yet, what kind of ninja won't fight anyone?” _

_Lots of the kids around him started to giggle now. It was a pretty ridiculous idea: a ninja that didn't know how to fight. Sasuke clenched his fists, certain that he knew who they were talking about, but he didn't want to get involved. The boys were clearly idiots, and Matsu would not like Sasuke getting into fights over him._

“ _Maybe they're just keeping him around as a fancy punching bag?” **That** boy laughed again. “Isn't that all the Uchiha are good for now?”_

 

Really, the boy had been asking for it. Sasuke felt a grim satisfaction over his afternoon's handiwork. After all, he hadn't totally lost control, no matter what any of the teachers said. He could have broken a couple of the boy's fingers, hurting his ninjutsu and chakra control practice for the next few months, which would have been really nasty (but reeeeally satisfying) revenge. Instead, he had simply broken the boy's nose. The kid wasn't an Inuzuka, he'd barely been using his nose anyway, so Sasuke didn't really see what the big deal was. Unfortunately, the teachers had seen a big deal in the event, and they had given him a note to take home addressed to Itachi. Sasuke had avoided the issue all afternoon by training alone at one of the Academy training grounds, but then it started to get dark and he knew that he had to go home and face the music.

Groaning again, Sasuke shoved his face back into the blankets of his bed, still feeling very sulky. He'd gotten in trouble at school for fighting, something that had never happened before. He would have been ashamed had it happened before _ it _ , but now it seemed ten times worse. He didn't want to let Itachi down, and it felt like today he'd screwed up big time.

As Sasuke sighed again, he heard a quiet cough from down below. Sasuke scrambled upright and peered over the edge of his bunk bed, frightened that the very person he had been avoiding might have just come upstairs to check on him.

Matsu gave him an apologetic smile, looking up at him ruefully. “I heard you transformed from honour student to a proper little delinquent today.” He said casually, hands in pockets, tone of voice calm.

Sasuke scowled. “You didn't tell-”

“No one's told Itachi-nii-san.” Matsu said patiently. “We made an agreement remember?”

Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief. In his panic over the misbehaviour at school he had forgotten what all eight of them had decided the night before they were due to go back to the Academy after  _ it. _ Haruna had been the one to suggest it, being the oldest, and they all agreed: what happens at the Academy  _ stays _ at the Academy. It was their unwritten rule that none of them would tattle to Itachi about the others over things that happened at school. Part of the reason was to create a better sense of camradirie and trust amongst the kids that were old enough to go to school, but another part of it was that they didn't want to worry Itachi needlessly. If the matter needed to be reported back to their guardian, the one concerned should be the one to do so. Otherwise they just kept their mouths shut.

“You probably should tell him though.” Matsu told Sasuke. “He's going to hear about it sooner or later.”

Sasuke shifted nervously. Usually he tried to keep up a brave face, but this was  _ Matsu. _ “Do you think Nii-san will be mad?” He asked quietly.

Matsu looked at him with his usual contemplative stare. Matsu was quiet and reserved, even for an Uchiha, and the big round eyes that he had inherited from his mother only reinforced the aura of wisdom that the boy exuded. “I think Itachi-nii-san might be a little disappointed.” He finally said.

Sasuke wilted under the older boy's honesty. “That's even worse.” He mumbled. Now he was dreading having to go downstairs for dinner.

Matsu sighed, then swung himself up Sasuke's ladder, settling himself into a cross-legged seat next to him. Sasuke watched wordlessly as he made him himself comfortable, and shifted himself sideways a little to give him more room.

“So...” Matsu began. “... why don't you tell me why you broke that kid's nose?”

Sasuke gulped and looked away. “He was saying mean stuff... about the Uchiha...” His voice was small, “...about you...”

“Ah.” Matsu shifted slightly and began to drum out a little beat on his thigh with the fingertips of his right hand. It was a nervous tic that he had. “I see.”

“They called you a weirdo!” Sasuke let the angry words burst out of him, but he refused to look at Matsu and instead focussed on staring out of the window that was located on the wall opposite the bunk beds. “And they said you were stupid, just because you aren't doing so well in taijutsu at the moment!” Sasuke scowled. “ _He_ said that all the Uchiha were good for now were being punching bags. That's when I hit him.”

A hand clamped down on his head, mussing up his hair. Sasuke turned to look at Matsu with a sad frown. Matsu, on the other hand, was smiling at him in his own sad way, looking like he didn't blame Sasuke at all for his behaviour at school.

“I get it.” Matsu said. “You were doing it for me.”

Sasuke's frown deepened. “Not just for you!” He said quickly. “I was doing it for all of us: the idiot insulted the entire clan!”

Matsu withdrew his hand from Sasuke's head slowly, and let it drop to the blankets. “I know.” He said tiredly. “But you still shouldn't have attacked him.”

Sasuke snorted. “Why not? He was asking for it.”

“Even if he was, you still shouldn't have done it.” Matsu replied. “It's up to us to represent the clan now, there are no more adults left. We need to act with the dignity and self restraint that people expect of the Uchiha.”

“I'm sorry.” He really was. He'd been sorry almost immediately after he'd done it, straddling the wailing boy with his blood all over his fist. That didn't stop him from being angry that the boy had spoken about his family that way though. Even if Sasuke had lost his parents, he still had his pride. He loved the clan, and he hated whenever anyone badmouthed it.

“It's okay.” Matsu said. “You're only eight, no one expects you to be perfect. Just turn the other cheek next time, okay?”

He nodded in subdued agreement, but couldn't help but sigh a little. “I just hate it when they talk bad about you.” he confessed. “They don't know how hard you work.” he pouted, this too, was part of the reason that Sasuke was feeling sulky. He wasn't sure when it happened, but somehow Matsu had become just as much his big brother as Itachi was. Matsu was the one that had stayed calm and collected in the days after  _ it _ , and Matsu was the one that had helped Sasuke out with the nightmares more than once when Itachi was swamped with helping everyone else. The fact that he still had time to watch out for Sasuke when he also had to keep an eye on his troublesome twin brothers made his help all the more precious. Matsu may not be the genius that everyone called Itachi, but Sasuke still thought he was incredible, and looked up to him accordingly.

“Don't worry about it.” Matsu told him. “I don't care what they think. You guys all know that I'm not a weirdo, or a punching bag, and that's enough for me.” He smiled at Sasuke. “Besides, they'll all have to eat their words when I graduate, because by then my taijutsu will definitely be back up to scratch. I just need to work on it a little longer.”

Sasuke was quick to reassure him that his taijutsu was going to get a lot better very soon. He couldn't remember how good Matsu had been before  _ it _ , but he was an Uchiha, so of course he must have been pretty good. The problem was that after  _ it _ , Matsu started suffering from panic attacks during sparring. He'd freeze right up mid-fight, especially if the opponent was a girl. Itachi had told Sasuke that it wasn't Matsu's fault: it was the result of trauma. Sasuke couldn't blame him for that, he had similar problems, only it was different things that ended up triggering his own panic attacks. 

Panic attacks were now a common occurrence in their lives. Matsu suffered his while sparring, Sasuke suffered from his whenever he woke up in the night and couldn't hear his brother sleeping in the bunk below him, or when he wandered around the house looking for Itachi and failed to find him quickly enough. Haruna had panic attacks whenever she couldn't find her either of her little brothers, and Samuru was much the same as his sister. Hideki and Sora sometimes had fits when they heard loud noises, and Miyoko was very sensitive towards sharp objects: she couldn't sleep in the same room as a bladed weapon anymore. On the complete other hand, Hikari couldn't go anywhere without a kunai in her pocket, which made trying to spend time with Miyoko difficult. Then there was Eri, with one of the more bizarre traumas, who screamed murder whenever anyone tried to dress her in blue clothing: she had been wearing a blue dress on the night of  _ it _ . Of course, those were just the specific triggers that some of them suffered from: there was also a long list of other triggers that they all seemed to collectively suffer on and off from, and the smallest kids were often the worst.

Of course, none of them really talked about trauma or panic attacks. They were Uchiha, and Uchiha don't talk about things like  _ feelings _ . Their clan had been shinobi for centuries, so it wasn't like trauma was something new. Over the past few months all of them had quickly learned how to deal with the panic attacks: help each other steer clear of the triggers and avoid talking about them. So that's exactly what Sasuke did now, he reassured Matsu and then carefully steered the conversation away from taijutsu and onto a safer topic. Matsu seemed glad of Sasuke's subtle effort, and enthusiastically launched into the discussion of which candy they should convince Itachi to buy for the little kids (*cough* and them *cough*) for the celebration of Halloween at the end of the next month.

“Don't you think it's a bit early to be discussing Halloween?”

Sasuke and Matsu jumped, breaking off their argument of raspberry liquorice versus black liquorice mid sentence to stare down at Itachi guiltily. The older boy was looking up at them, an amused look on his face and his hands planted on his hips. Sasuke wanted to giggle at the red apron that was wrapped around him – Eri had tried to decorate it for her Nii-chan last week, and Itachi was still trying to wash the glitter out. It was the apron, as well as the ladle that Itachi had gripped in his right hand, that told the boys that he had come up directly from cooking dinner.

“Why is it that every time I do a head count at the dinner table you two are inevitably the ones that are missing?” Itachi sighed, shaking his head. “At least try to be on time, guys.”

At this prompt, the two boys looked guiltily over to the clock again. It was quarter to seven, fifteen minutes past the time that dinner started every night. They had lost track of the time.

“Sorry Nii-san.” Sasuke ducked his head. “We didn't realise.”

“It's my fault.” Matsu said. “I should have remembered, I'm older.”

Itachi just smiled at them. “It's okay.” He told them. “Just try not to do it too often, you know how some people get when others are missing without good reason.”

Matsu and Sasuke looked at each other guiltily; and each decided internally that they'd do their best to make it to dinner on time for the next few weeks.

Itachi was still looking at them thoughtfully. “Though, it does make me wonder, what was so important to talk about that you had to be late.” He raised his eyebrows at them and Sasuke knew that, somehow, Itachi already knew about the fight. Itachi seemed to know everything and Sasuke put it down to the fact that Itachi made liberal use of his shinobi intelligence gathering skills to keep and eye on all of them. Stupid shinobi and their information networks.

“Sasuke knows that he screwed up, Itachi-nii-san.” Matsu had clicked that Itachi knew too. “He said that he won't do it again.”

Itachi's eyes now locked with Sasuke's. “Really?”

Sasuke was quick to nod. “Yeah. I'm really sorry Nii-san.” He bit his lip. “I promise that I won't hit anyone again, no matter what they say.”

Itachi was quiet for a long time, looking from Matsu to Sasuke with an unreadable look. Sasuke didn't really know what to make of it. Was his apology not enough? Should he offer to be punished too?

“You know why they talk about us like that, don't you?” Itachi's voice was quieter than usual, and even though Sasuke hadn't thought it possible, his voice was definitely more serious too.

“Why?” Matsu was the one to reply, frowning down at Itachi.

“The Uchiha clan has always been a very proud group.” Itachi told them. “We work hard to be the very best, and we tend to look down on others that aren't as skilled as us.”

“Well yeah.” Sasuke said bluntly. “What's the point of hanging around people that don't try hard?”

“How do you know they're not trying hard?” Itachi asked.

“uh... because none of them can beat me?” Sasuke said hesitantly, unsure what point his brother was trying to prove.

“So you only respect people that are stronger than you?”

“I guess so, yeah.”

“What happens if you get stronger than me one day, will I lose your respect?”

Sasuke's mouth opened in horror. “Of course not, Nii-san!”

“Do you see the point that I'm trying to make?” Itachi looked up at them as Sasuke and Matsu exchanged bewildered looks.

“Uh... kinda....” Matsu said. “...Maybe...”

Itachi sighed. “The point I'm trying to make is that just because someone is weaker than you, that does not mean they don't deserve your respect.” Itachi waved the ladle at them. “There are a great many weaker people that I respect a lot, and a great deal more strong people that I don't respect at all.”

Sasuke's brain was starting to hurt. “I'm not sure I get it.” he said honestly.

“Maybe one day you will.” Itachi said cryptically. “But more importantly, I want you two to think about what I said about our clan, and in particular, how our clan treated other people _outside_ the clan.”

Matsu and Sasuke exchanged another look. “I don't really remember any of our family interacting with anyone else much.” Matsu confessed.

“Exactly.” Itachi said. “And that, there, is our greatest weakness.”

“Huh?” Sasuke really didn't get it. Was this Itachi's way of saying that he thought they should stop moping around the house and get out more? Because Sasuke wasn't buying it.

“I don't get it.” It seemed that Matsu was as lost as Sasuke.

“The Uchiha clan don't like outsiders.” Itachi explained. “We've been a very internalised community for a very long time. Add to that the fact that we have a tendency to look down on others, and what do you think the result is?”

Sasuke shrugged, Matsu just looked puzzled.

“People don't like us.” Itachi said bluntly. “Ask any villager which is the least popular clan: nine times out of ten they'll tell you the Uchiha.”

Two two boys just stared at him, flabbergasted. It was just starting to dawn on them how sheltered they'd been from the rest of the village before. They'd grown up in the clan compound, fed the belief by their parents that the Uchiha were the greatest in the world, and that the village loved them for their skill and service. Before they could brush off any harsh classmate's words with the excuse that they were just jealous, but now both of them could see it for what it really was: symptoms of a larger problem that wasn't just isolated to the Academy, but the whole village.

“Oh.” Suddenly Sasuke felt way worse about his fight at school. He'd thought he was getting justice for Matsu at the time, but now he saw the situation as his classmates must have seen it: an arrogant Uchiha beating up a kid out of hurt pride.

Itachi glanced over to the shut door of the bedroom as if to check it was still closed. “Between you and me, I think that if our clan had been a little more respectful of outsiders, then we might still be at home with our parents right now.”

Sasuke and Matsu froze, staring at Itachi in horror. The teen was staring up at the two of them, a cold, faraway look in his eyes. Itachi had just crossed the line that all of them had drawn without even talking about it. He had mentioned the fact that their family had not perished in a freak tragedy, slaughtered by a mad kinsman, like the rest of the village believed, but because of a purge. A heavy silence settled over the room.

“I refuse to let our clan make the same mistakes again.” Itachi's voice was quiet and fierce, and his eyes flashed. Sasuke and Matsu were suddenly acutely aware that he was no longer talking to them as their Nii-san, but as their clan head. “I refuse to let the clan cut itself off and place itself on a pedestal once more.”

“What do we do?” Matsu whispered. He had shrunk back on himself, like he was afraid of the answer Itachi might give him.

“We need to become likeable.” Itachi said firmly.

Sasuke and Matsu stared at him blankly. “Huh?”

Itachi blinked up at them and, in an action that promptly swept all of the tension out of the room, grinned. “We need to learn humility, and we need to make people like us better.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “How are we supposed to do that Nii-san?” he threw his hands up into the air. “We're Uchiha. We're not really friendly people by nature. I don't even think that half of us know how to smile, and you're not exactly huggable yourself, yet you're supposed to be the clan representative!”

Itachi's brow furrowed. “Now you see my problem.” he said mock-forlornly. “It's like we're genetically predisposed to be intimidating and cold.”

Laughter bubbled out of Sasuke before he could help it, and soon Matsu joined in. To their utter shock, a third voice of laughter soon joined them, and the two of them turned to stare in wonder at Itachi, clutching his sides in a very, very rare fit of giggles. It was so unlike their serious Nii-san that it only served to make the two laugh even harder.

“But in all seriousness...” Itachi gasped as his laughter finally died down. “I really want to do something about this, and I've been thinking for a while about the best way to do it.” He looked back up at Sasuke and Matsu, a smile still on his face. “Do you think you guys are up for helping me out?”

The two exchanged a look. “Of course!” Their reply was instant. If there was something they could do to help out Itachi, of course they were going to do it.

“Right, well.” Itachi straightened. “Your new goal, effectively immediately, is to make a friend at the Academy that is _not_ from the Uchiha clan.”

It sounded simple enough, but Sasuke felt his heart sinking. How on earth was he supposed to make a friend in the den of idiots that called themselves his classmates? Another scary thought occurred to him. “Uh... Nii-san...?”

“Hmm?”

“It doesn't have to be a girl or anything, does it?” Sasuke asked fearfully.

Itachi sniggered. “Giving you trouble, are they?”

Sasuke made a face. “They never leave me alone!”

Matsu laughed next to Sasuke. “Well, look at it this way, if you're really desperate for friends, you could just try being nicer to your little fan club.”

He couldn't help but shiver at that. “It will be a cold day in hell before I give any of those creepy stalkers the time of day.” he told Matsu firmly. “I think I'll stick to trying to make friends with one of the guys, to be honest.”

“Just as long as you make a good, sincere friend.” Itachi told the two of them. “Someone that you like spending time with, and who likes spending time with you.” He smiled up at them once again. “Can I count on you guys?”

“Yes!” Their answer was once again simultaneous. If Itachi wanted them to try and make friends, well... that's what they were going to do.

With their agreement of Itachi's request, the two of them climbed down from the bunk and followed Itachi downstairs to dinner. The three of them made no mention of their conversation for the rest of the evening, but Sasuke knew that they had to be thinking about it. Matsu had that furrowed look that he always wore whenever he was thinking hard about something, and Itachi was glancing over to look at them a lot more than he usually would. Sasuke, too, thought hard about Itachi's request.

As he lay awake that night, staring up at the starry ceiling, he wondered how he was going to pull off this strange goal that Itachi had given him. The task was a lot more complicated than his generic goal of 'getting stronger' but Sasuke had to admit, the goal to make friends was probably a more worthy one. For a moment Sasuke wondered what might have happened if Itachi wasn't around to give him advice. If Itachi hadn't survived  _ it _ , then might he have lost himself to grief? Sasuke once again felt a twinge of mingled rage and sadness that accompanied the thought of one Yoshiki Uchiha, the one responsible for orphaning the nineteen Uchiha remaining in the village. Even if he knew that Yoshiki had not killed the clan because he was evil or cruel, Sasuke wondered if he might have fixated on revenge had Itachi not been around to hold him back from such dark feelings. It certainly was a temptation: devoting himself to getting stronger in order to avenge the deaths of his family. In light of this new goal that Itachi had given him however, the desire for vengeance felt petty and hollow. Sasuke vowed to push those lingering dark feelings away. From now on, he was going to embrace a different goal: one that was orientated towards the future, instead of the past. 

It felt good.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 To be honest, Sasuke had felt a whole lot more confident about this challenge before he arrived at the Academy the next day. Laying awake in bed the night before the task had seemed a lot easier. What could be more simple? All he had to do was pick the classmate that looked the least annoying and strike up a conversation. He thought that it would be easy.

That was until he got to class and realised that everyone in the room was eyeing him warily. Even the girls were a little skittish around him, when usually they swarmed him. It didn't take him long to figure out why: when you break a guy's nose, people are probably going to be wary of you for a while. Sasuke took his seat as quietly as as he could and decided that for the next few days he would put his friend-making plans on hold. For now all he wanted to do was ensure that his classmates weren't petrified he might snap and punch them in the face.

Sasuke soon decided that instead of going ahead and talking to people, he should use this time to observe the class and decide which of the idiots around him might make the least intolerable friend. He didn't have particularly high hopes for anyone but, then again, he'd never actually paid much attention to any of the kids in his class before either, so maybe some of them might surprise him.

It was an easy decision to rule out most of the girls. Usually he'd just ignore them and their incessant giggling, but for a while he watched them, just to make sure that he wasn't judging them too harshly. What he saw... well... frankly it scared him a little. Every time he turned around, one of the girls was watching him. At lunch, he noticed that a great deal of them were actually following him. Even more disturbingly, when he sneaked a look at a couple of girls' notebooks when no one was looking, he found that they had not been taking notes in class. No. They were too busy doodling hearts around his name and tacking 'Uchiha' onto their own. One notebook had a painstakingly drawn wedding picture that made him shiver with fright. There was no way on earth he was going to have a wedding reception with that much lace lying around, that was for sure.

There was only one girl that wasn't ruled out because of creepily stalking him. Hinata Hyuga seemed to have next to no interest in him, which was actually more than enough for him to actually consider her briefly as possible friend material. The only reason that he hadn't noticed her sooner was that she was so quiet and shy she was nearly invisible. He watched her for a bit, trying to figure out a way he might approach her, when he noticed it. Hinata _was_ different to the other girls, but in her own way, she was exactly the same. The only difference was that, unlike every other female in the class, Hinata had a different stalking target. It was hard to imagine for what reason the girl was always watching the class clown, but it was clear that she was crushing _hard_ on him. Sasuke didn't try to sneak a look at her notebook, but he imagined that the girl probably had a doodle _somewhere_ with the name Hinata Uzumaki printed neatly.

So Hinata was out. Leaving aside the point that stalking creeped him out, it was clear that she wouldn't be interested in his friendship. She was too busy blushing over Naruto.

Sasuke then turned his attention onto the boys. Which... didn't really give him much cause for hope either. Most of them were idiots. They were loud, rude, and most of them looked like they took pleasure in rolling in as much dirt as they could find during lunch break. Sasuke didn't mind dirt, but there is a difference between not being a clean freak and taking the invention of soap as a suggestion instead of a necessity. If the men that Sasuke saw around the village were any indication, most of them would grow out of this dirty phase in life, but he needed to make friends with them _now_ , not ten years from now when all of them realised that they'd never get a girlfriend if they didn't wash.

It was after observing the group of boys in general that Sasuke started to think that maybe he was going around this the complete wrong way. He was making assumptions based on what the _group_ did. He needed to watch specific people, and see if their individual redeeming qualities made up for the fact that they shared some unattractive qualities with the masses. So Sasuke decided to turn his attention to individuals. He started, naturally, with the clan kids. Not because he was a snob that didn't really want to make friends with a civilian (maybe....), but because he figured that they were probably his best bet for finding a friend, considering that he would have more in common with a clan child than he would a civilian.

The first he observed was the Inuzuka boy: Kiba. Sasuke didn't really know all that much about the Inuzuka, but he knew that they worked with dogs as partners. He also knew that they were supposed to be a friendly and informal bunch, and he thought he could make that work to his advantage. After all, it would be much easier to start a friendship with a person who was friendly as opposed to someone that refused to talk to him. Kiba, it seemed, _was_ friendly. He seemed to be on good terms with everyone in the class; even most of the girls. Though Sasuke did suspect that it was probably the puppy that he'd started carrying around at the start of the year that attracted the girls to him, rather than his friendliness. Unfortunately, Sasuke began to see quite quickly that Kiba would not make a very good friend for him.

The main thing that Sasuke saw getting in the way of friendship was that Kiba had a short temper. Sasuke knew himself well enough to know that he didn't exactly have the patience of a saint. They would drive each other crazy with fighting. The other thing that Sasuke saw as an obstacle was the fact that Kiba was enormously childish and competitive. He would make silly boasts all the time, then lose his rag when things didn't go his way. He wasn't a gracious loser. Realistically, Kiba would never willingly make friends with someone he suspected might be better than him, and seeing that Sasuke was consistently the top of the class, he ruled out the possibility of friendship with Kiba for now.

Next he thought he might have been looking in all the wrong places. So he turned his attention to the quiet and collected Shino Aburame. Shino looked to be a good choice. He was even more quiet than the almost invisible Hinata, and he seemed to have one of the keener minds in the class. Shino never got angry: in fact, he never really showed any emotion at all. Unlike the loud and popular Kiba, Shino kept to himself. In fact, it seemed that most of the class avoided him. Not that he minded that much; he seemed to like the solitude. Sasuke thought that he seemed to be rather like him, in a way. The only down side that he could see in befriending Shino was the fact that the boy only ever showed enthusiasm over bugs. Sasuke knew next to nothing about bugs. What would they talk about together, if all Shino was interested in was bugs, while Sasuke was less than enthused? It wouldn't work.

So Sasuke put the matter of Shino aside for the moment, and turned his attention to someone else. Shikamaru was the next to catch his attention, and if Sasuke was completely honest Shikamaru seemed like the most promising of the whole bunch. Shikamaru wasn't loud or boisterous, unlike the other boys. He spent a lot of his time lazing around, napping at his desk during lessons and napping under the tree in the school yard during breaks. To Sasuke, he appeared to be a very low maintenance friend. He wouldn't make any unreasonable demands of Sasuke, and Sasuke would reply in kind by not making any demands of him. The other thing that also convinced Sasuke that befriending Shikamaru would not be an utter waste of time was the fact that the boy was actually a lot more intelligent than he let on. Shikamaru rarely bothered to speak up, but when he did say something he was never wrong. From an obscure piece of history knowledge, to astute observations about their classmates and teachers, Shikamaru was right about everything. When Sasuke realised this he was also blown away by the fact that Shikamaru was probably also deliberately flunking tests in order to hide his intelligence. He suspected the reason that he did so was out of laziness, but still, it was a very impressive thing to pull off. Even (most of) the teachers, who are shinobi trained to look past the obvious, had no idea the boy was a genius.

The problem, however, with befriending Shikamaru was that he already had a best friend. Shikamaru was almost never seen without Choji. They sat together in class, they sat together under the tree in the yard at lunch and at the end of the day they walked home together. Choji knew Shikamaru so well that sometimes when someone asked Shikamaru a direct question it was Choji that answered for him. Choji covered for Shikamaru when he was feeling especially lazy, as sometimes opening his own mouth to form words required too much effort to be worthwhile. Choji was a cheerful individual, and it was because of him that Shikamaru even had a shred of popularity. Actually, it was probably because of Choji that Shikamaru bothered to wake up during the school day at all. Sasuke didn't fancy his chances of breaking through the walls of their friendship. Shikamaru's best friend was Choji, and that was never going to change. Sasuke would just be a third wheel in the friendship if he tried to butt in now.

After discarding Shikamaru as a potential friend, Sasuke was almost ready to give up. He briefly considered the last clan boy in the class, Choji, before immediately discarding him as an option for the same reason as Shikamaru. Choji was undyingly loyal to Shikamaru, he would never abandon his lazy friend.

So, after a solid week or so of observation, Sasuke had to come to the conclusion that he was stuck. This friend-making thing was going to be a _lot_ more difficult than he originally thought.

* * *

 

“So how's it going?” Matsu asked casually, flicking his wrist and sending another volley of shuriken down to the bottom of the garden.

Sasuke grimaced as Matsu's weapon's sunk with a series of _thuds_ into the large post set up at the end of the garden. His aim was good, all four of the blades were sunk deep into the red circle of the target.

“Uh... not bad.” Sasuke said carefully. “What about you?”

Matsu squinted at the target, then sent flicked another two shuriken. They embedded themselves neatly inside the red circle. “I think I'm making progress.”

“So does that mean that you're close to making a friend?” Sasuke stared at Matsu in surprise. It had only been a week, yet Matsu had managed to get close to someone already?!

Matsu grinned at him, then stepped to the side, gesturing for Sasuke to take his turn at trying to hit the target. Sasuke hefted one of his practice shuriken into his hand and tried to concentrate on aiming, but sadly all his attention was on the older boy and what he might say next.

“I don't know whether I'd call her a _friend_ yet...” Matsu said. “But a girl in my class sprained her ankle when we were running the assault course on Wednesday. I carried her to the nurse's office.”

Sasuke frowned at him. “Does that even count?” He wanted to know. “You just did what any classmate might do.”

Matsu grinned at him. “Yeah... maybe... but I also stuck around to help her bandage up her foot, seeing as the nurse wasn't there when we arrived. She said that doing that was really nice of me. She also said that she was glad I wasn't like the other boys: she called me a _gentleman._ ” Matsu glowed with pride at the praise, but Sasuke wasn't that impressed.

“Just sounds like she's got a crush on you.” He said flatly. He turned to the post and flicked his hand, sending his shuriken whirring towards the target. _Thunk!_

“Whatever.” Matsu shrugged. “I don't mind if she does. She's nice.”

_Thunk!_

“So what's her name?”

“Mimi.”

“Hn.”

“What's that supposed to mean?!”

“Sounds like you're looking for more of a _girlfriend_ than an actual friend.” _Thunk! Thunk!_

“Shut up midget, girlfriends can be friends too.” Matsu sniffed. “Besides, how much progress have _you_ made?”

“....” _Thunk!_ “A.... a little...”

“Sasuke.” Matsu stared at him. “Have you even spoken to any of the kids in your class this week?”

“Don't be stupid! Of course I have!”

“What did you talk about?”

“....”

“Sasuke....”

“Ino asked if she could borrow my scissors. I said yes.”

“Sasuke! That's not a conversation!”

_THUNK!_

Sasuke turned to Matsu with a scowl, all out of shuriken. “At least it was something!” He said defensively. “None of the girls in _my_ class needed to be carried to the nurse's office this week... you can't blame me! There just haven't been that many opportunities to speak to any of them!”

Matsu shook his head, then began the trudge down to the bottom of the garden to collect the shuriken. “No offence Sasuke, but if you're just waiting around for _opportunities_ to talk to other people, you're never going to get anywhere.”

Sasuke tried not to let his disappointment and frustration leak onto his face as he made to follow Matsu. “I guess you're right.” He said grudgingly. “But it's just... none of them are easy to talk to, you know...”

“Well... all you can do is your best.” Matsu said wisely. “Good luck.”

Sasuke figured that he was going to need a lot of 'good luck' if he was going to make a friend before graduation. It turned out that the great Sasuke Uchiha had finally found something that he had absolutely no talent for.

* * *

 

Three weeks into his task, Sasuke had truly hit rock bottom. He didn't know what he was doing wrong! Matsu didn't seem to have that much trouble. He'd actually become quite good friends with Mimi over the past few weeks. She'd even come over to their house for dinner! Sasuke wanted to dislike her out of pettiness that Matsu had found a friend first, but she had turned out the be totally unhateable. She wasn't a member of a clan, but she did come from a family of medic nin. She told all of them over dinner about how she was going to intern at the hospital in her final year, and then eventually become a medic nin herself. Sasuke thought she was cool: she had an actual goal and was working hard to obtain it, as opposed to some of the girls in his class, who simply wanted to be kunoichi because they thought it would be cool or romantic.

So Matsu's new friend Mimi was very likeable, and contrary to Sasuke's earlier teasing, it seemed that Mimi really was Matsu's friend because she genuinely liked him, not because of a stupid girly crush. Sasuke was jealous. How come he wasn't able to make a friend as easy as that? It was so unfair.

And it wasn't for lack of trying either. Sasuke had tried to strike up conversations. Some had worked better than others. He had quite a good discussion with Shikamaru and Choji one afternoon about shogi. It turned out to be the only activity that involved movement that Shikamaru actually enjoyed. Sasuke knew the rules of the game because it was one of the few things that he actually did together with his father _before._ The conversation was going well until Sasuke remembered this fact, and he had to beat a hasty retreat before the memory triggered a panic attack right there in the middle of the classroom.

What was most depressing was that the conversation about shogi was the best attempt that he'd made so far. He'd had a total of four other conversations over the past few weeks. One of them was between him and Ino (Who he had felt was somewhat safe territory seeing as the scissors incident had gone relatively smoothly). He had simply said to her that he thought she did a good job in her spar the lesson before. Ino had _beamed_ at him and taken his comment as an invitation to start babbling at him at six hundred miles per hour. He was quite frankly overwhelmed, and had to escape not two minutes into the ill-fated conversation. The next conversation that he had was with Sakura, who had come up to him ten minutes after the Ino disaster and proceeded to compliment his own efforts in sparring. He wasn't sure what made her so bold as to suddenly speak to him, but beggars can't be choosers, and he graciously accepted her compliments, giving her one in return, as is polite. Unfortunately, his cordial reaction to her attempt at conversation only encouraged her to start talking at him in much the same way as Ino, and once again he had to escape. It was after that he vowed he wasn't going to speak to the girls unless absolutely necessary. He had no idea what to _do_ with them.

The third conversation had been with Shino. Upon reflection of his efforts, Sasuke had decided that he should attempt to make friends with Shino. He could figure out the whole bug situation later. So one day he went up to Shino and asked him what he thought about the science lesson they had just had. Shino had looked at him blankly for a few moments before:

“It was informative.”

“You're family uses bug jutsu right? Was the lesson all stuff you already knew?”

“Yes. My family makes sure that I am well educated on biology.”

There was an awkward pause. Sasuke tried not to fidget. This wasn't going exactly as he'd hoped.

“It must have been boring then.”

“Not really.”

“You must like biology a lot then.”

“Not really.”

It was at this point that Sasuke gave up. Shino wasn't throwing him a bone, and his face was frankly unreadable with his dark glasses and high collared coat. Sasuke politely extracted himself from the extremely one sided conversation and left, feeling thoroughly disheartened.

The fourth conversation was perhaps the most humiliating of all though. Sasuke had been walking home, replaying the bungled conversation with Shino over and over in his head with a scowl. He hadn't been watching where he was going, nor did he care where the rather large stone he aimed a kick at landed when it tumbled back to earth.

“OW!”

Actually, on second thought, he did care where that stone ended up after all. Feeling guilty, Sasuke rushed around the corner of the large hedge that he had kicked the stone over, ready to apologise profusely for his careless action. That's when he saw the poor person that he had hit for the first time: a boy his own age with spiky blonde hair and an obnoxious orange T-shirt. The boy was staring up at the sky, rubbing his head with a frown.

Of course, even if Sasuke didn't really feel like talking with the class clown right now, he still had to apologise. He'd been raised to be polite, even if he hated it. “Sorry.” He said shortly. “I didn't mean for anyone to get hit by the stone - I just kicked it away.”

The boy whirled around to stare at him, blue eyes widening as he realised who it was that was standing in front of him. “Sure.” He said quickly. “It's fine. You didn't mean it.”

Sasuke nodded at him, then turned around to resume his journey home.

“Uh... I saw you talking to Shino today....”

Sasuke froze and turned back to the blonde boy, who was grinning sheepishly at him. “So?” Sasuke replied frostily.

“I just wondered... you hardly ever talk to other people...” The other boy trailed off. “...I was just curious...”

“I don't see how it's any of your business.” Sasuke said shortly.

“Well... I wasn't gonna say anything... but you looked kinda upset after you talked to him...” His smile wilted somewhat under Sasuke's glare. “...So I was just wondering if you were okay... that's all... Shino can be pretty blunt, huh?.... uh....”

“I'm fine. Don't worry about it.” Sasuke turned his back on the boy, cheeks colouring slightly with shame. Of all people to notice him failing to interact with Shino, it _had_ to be the annoying dead last. “See you.” Sasuke fled before the dead last could rub any more of his failures in his face. The last thing he wanted was pity from someone like _Naruto_.

* * *

 

So now Sasuke was down at the bottom of the garden, yanking shuriken out of the target post with vicious determination. His aim was to train so hard that he would forget all about his failures, and hopefully be able to face going to school on Monday instead of wanting to hide under his covers for the rest of his life. He had been in the garden for over an hour now, and it still wasn't working. Sasuke pulled the last of his shuriken out harshly, then whirled around to stomp back up the garden to take out his frustration on the post yet again. He was halfway through his handful of shuriken when an amused voice made him fumble and drop the projectiles he had left into the dirt.

“Don't you think the post has suffered enough?”

Sasuke didn't bother to reach down an grab his shuriken, he just turned around to fix his brother with a glare.

“The post isn't alive.” Sasuke pointed out. “It can't suffer.”

Itachi walked forward, hands in his pockets, to stand next to Sasuke. Together, the two of them observed the tattered post for a while.

“It's still a little worse for wear, don't you think?” Itachi said mildly. “Maybe you should take a rest now.”

“Fine.” He growled in reply, bending down to snatch up the shuriken he had not thrown yet.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Itachi asked. Sasuke straightened to see that Itachi was looking at him with raised eyebrows.

“Not really.” Sasuke grunted.

Itachi regarded him thoughtfully for a long moment. “You know,” he said slowly, “there is such a thing as trying too hard.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Sasuke wanted to pout. He wished that his brother wasn't so cryptic all the time. Itachi had to be the only person that Sasuke knew that could make one's brain hurt mid-casual-conversation.

“Nothing.” Itachi waved him off. “Don't worry about it.”

Yup. That settled it. Someone needed to retrain Itachi in how to talk: clearly something had gone wrong when he learned to speak the first time. The evidence was in the fact that Itachi could not speak plainly to anyone.

“Hn.”

“Anyway...” Itachi pulled one hand out of his pocket to wave a piece of folded paper at Sasuke. “I didn't come down here just to stop you from murdering the post. I came to ask if you could run to the market for me, I'm missing some things we'll need for dinner tonight.”

Sasuke reached out and reluctantly took the shopping list from his older brother. No matter how crazy Itachi's mystic talk drove him, he was always going to help him out if he needed it. If Itachi's day could be made simpler by Sasuke running to the shops instead of going himself, then Sasuke would be happy to do it for him.

Itachi handed him the ryo notes and reminded him to be back before four, then waved him away. Sasuke turned and made for the garden gate, wondering if he could sneak some tomatoes into his shopping basket with the budget that Itachi had given him. He was also feeling a little optimistic, maybe this chore would be able to do what his training all weekend had not: make him forget about his troubles.


	3. Chapter 3

 Of all the chores that Sasuke had ever done to help his brother out, going to the market had to be one of the best. For one, the market was huge and interesting. Running through one of the biggest streets in Konoha, it was a strict pedestrian only zone during daylight hours: no carts, horses or rickshaws, not even wheel barrows were allowed. It meant that the entire street was always packed with people going about their daily shopping. The market was the number one place to shop for fresh food in Konoha, there wasn't much point going anywhere else when such a variety was on display at competitive prices at the market. Of course, packaged and preserved food was much better shopped for elsewhere, the market stalls didn't really have the facilities to store things like frozen food.

Sasuke liked the market for it's simultaneous sense of anonymity and familiarity. He could disappear into the crowd, if he so wished. But if he wanted to be welcomed like an old friend, all he had to do was visit one of the stalls that he had frequented since before he could remember. He used to go shopping with his mother all the time here. The greengrocer that his mother liked best always used to give him a tomato to eat on the way home when they were in season. Even after _it_ , the stall owners his mother introduced him to were always nice. They treated him the same as ever, as if they sensed he was getting tired of other people's pity. They were sorry for his loss, not because they would miss the powerful ninja of the Uchiha clan like the rest of the village, but because they had called his mother a friend.

Today, however, Sasuke wished for anonymity. He was sick of trying to be friendly, seeing as it never seemed to get him anywhere. So when he glanced down at his brother's list and saw the collection of different vegetables that he was supposed to pick up, he did not turn west when he hit the market street, heading towards his familiar greengrocer, but east, to find a stall where no one would know him from a bar of soap, where he could shop in peace. Sasuke did not pick the first vegetable stall that he saw either. Picking the first one would only shorten the time that it took to complete this errand, and he didn't really want to head back to the house yet. He decided to push on down the street for as long as he dared to find the contents of his list. As long as he made it back just before four things would work out.

Eventually though, Sasuke did actually have to stop and actually buy the things on his list. He picked a stall at random that looked as if it had pretty decent produce and dove right in, picking out the things his brother needed and trying to catch the attention of the stall owner so that he could barter the price. Sasuke had grown fond of bartering: if he was lucky, he could manage to get the stall owner to throw in a couple of tomatoes for free as part of a deal. Usually it was pretty easy to catch a stall keeper's attention. They all liked it when a customer wanted to barter, it gave them an opportunity to get a better deal for themselves, or they saw it as an opportunity to gain a loyal customer who would come back again. But today, Sasuke just couldn't shift this particular stall keeper's attention. He was too focussed on a heated looking argument with another customer that Sasuke couldn't quite see due to a crate of melons blocking his view. He was about to give up and go to a stall where he could barter when he caught a snippet of the angry conversation.

“...but why, that guy-”

“That man was one of my loyal customers, of course I would not give the same price to the likes of _you!_ ”

“I get that, but why do I have to pay so much more than everyone else? You never know, I could become one of your loyal customers too!”

“As if I would let you shop here on a regular basis, brat!” The man scoffed. “Just pay the price I gave you. You won't get a better one around here, that's for sure.”

“Can't you just give me a chance? I swear, I'm not gonna cause any trouble or anything!”

“Take it or leave it, brat.” The man snarled. “If you don't want the cabbage, just leave. If people see you here I'm going to lose customers.”

Sasuke fumed, backing away from the basket of leeks that he was examining with a scowl blooming across his face. He'd never heard a stall keeper being so rude in his entire life! It was like the stupid man was trying to drive away the poor customer that was trying to reason with him. It went against every business sense that Sasuke knew of. He whirled away from the leeks and marched around the crate of melons, ready to give the stall keeper a piece of his mind and rescue the poor sod that had tried to barter with the one keeper that had a pine cone up his butt.

The words died on his tongue as he swept around the corner to come face to face with a very crestfallen.... Naruto. The boy in the orange T-shirt was already turning away from the stall, a tiny cabbage in his hands and the stall keeper standing behind him with a massive smirk on his oily face.

“Naruto?!”

The boy's eyes snapped up in shock to stare at him. “Sasuke?!”

“What are you doing?” Sasuke wanted to know. It certainly looked like the stupid boy had bought the cabbage from the appallingly rude stall keeper. Sasuke knew that the dead last wasn't the sharpest kunai in the holster, but this was ridiculous!

Naruto shifted uncomfortably, and his eyes flickered down to the pathetic excuse for a cabbage he had cradled in his arms and away. He refused to look at Sasuke again. “Just shopping.” He said sullenly. He hissed the words a little, like he resented Sasuke's sudden appearance.

“Hnn.” Sasuke snorted. “Well... as usual dead last, you suck at it.” Sasuke snatched the cabbage out of Naruto's hands and marched straight back to the stall keeper. He shoved the cabbage into the man's surprised hands and gave him his best Uchiha scowl. “He'll have his money back, please.” He said shortly.

Sasuke could hear Naruto choking in shock behind him, but didn't look back. He focussed on staring down the startled stall owner, a barely contained rage burning behind his eyes. Sasuke was a little tempted to activate his sharingan, just to freak the man out a little more, but then he realised that doing so was probably a little overkill for the situation at hand: the man had just been rude and overcharged a classmate, he hadn't tried to murder him.

The man frowned at him, like Sasuke was the one in the wrong, but nevertheless grudgingly ferreted around in the money pouch by his side and extracted a few coins. He tossed them at Sasuke with a glower, then rudely turned his back on them: a clear dismissal.

Sasuke clenched the coins in his fist and tried to ignore the bad taste in his mouth as he turned back to Naruto. The boy was staring at him in a mixture of shock and dismay, mouth hanging open like an imbecile. Sasuke sighed, walked over to him and pressed the coins into his limp hand. For a moment he was afraid the other boy was too far gone to keep hold of the coins, but his fist quickly closed around them as he continued to look at Sasuke like he had rolled up to him and offered him a ride in his solid gold chariot pulled by unicorns rather than just standing up to a rude man in a market place.

“What?” Sasuke said irritably, raising an eyebrow at Naruto.

Naruto shook his head, as if trying to shake away his disbelief. “Why did you do that?” He asked, eyes wide.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. “That guy was rude.” he said shortly. “A guy like that shouldn't have any customers, so I got your money back for you.”

Naruto bit his lip. “But I really needed that cabbage!” He whined, not sounding thankful for the help at all. Typical.

Sasuke suppressed the urge to hit him. “That isn't the only stall that sells cabbages, you know.” He pointed out. “We can go somewhere else.”

Naruto looked at him for a long moment. “...we?” He repeated dumbly.

“Of course!” Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Do you think I'm going to let you go off on your own now? You've already proven utterly useless at bartering. Someone needs to make sure you're not cheated out of everything you own.”

Now Naruto was looking at him like he had just told him that he was _giving_ him the gold chariot and unicorns free as a spontaneous gift. Really, what was wrong with this guy?

However Naruto's look of joy changed quickly changed to a wary one. “Okay...If you want to... I guess...” He looked up and down the street, then sighed. “But you probably shouldn't.”

“Why?” Sasuke frowned. He thought that Naruto would be pleased with this arrangement, shopping with company was always more enjoyable than shopping alone. Even Sasuke, the grumpy Uchiha, knew that.

“Because if I'm with you, the stall keepers are probably going to refuse you service too.” Naruto replied miserably. “It took me half an hour to find that guy who was willing to sell me the cabbage.” He scuffed his sandal over the pounded dirt of the street. “I think I'll just give up for today: I have plenty of instant ramen at home anyway.” He grinned. “Instant ramen is way better than stupid cabbage anyway!”

Sasuke felt his mouth drop open as a horror filled realisation dawned on him. He had grossly misunderstood something here. For some reason, Naruto wasn't welcome at the market. Why, Sasuke had no idea. Sure the boy was a prankster, but he'd never heard of stall keepers barring anyone service before. Sasuke felt horrible. Naruto had been trying half an hour to buy a single measly cabbage, and was just about to succeed when Sasuke had swooped in and 'rescued' (screwed things up for) him. His gut churned with shame. Why did he always have to screw these things up?!

Naruto just grinned at him, and casually tucked his hands behind his head. “Thanks for telling off that stall keeper though!” He said cheerfully. “That was seriously cool. No one's ever done that for me before!” Naruto nodded at Sasuke. “See ya at school tomorrow then-”

Sasuke reached out and grabbed the back of his T-shirt before Naruto could slip away. He wasn't sure why he did it, but he did. It probably had something to do with the bubbling sense of guilt that had welled up inside him.

“Wait.” Sasuke said. “Don't give up yet, stupid. Come with me.” He tugged Naruto until the confused boy was walking west down the market street in step with him.

“...don't call me stupid...” Was his only muttered response.

The two walked down the street in awkward silence, neither knowing quite what to say to the other. Sasuke was kicking himself for calling Naruto stupid. He hadn't meant to, it had just kind of slipped out. He was beginning to see exactly why he was so bad at this whole friend-making thing. Naruto was making him nervous. He was trailing along just behind him, silent for once in his life. Sasuke wasn't quite sure how to cope with a quiet Naruto. It was like trying to cope with a green sky or a stupid Itachi. Anxiously, he wondered if he had somehow irrevocably hurt Naruto's feelings by calling him stupid. It wasn't as if he hadn't called him stupid before... was he just being paranoid? Or was this just one time too many?

Finally, they arrived at the stall that Sasuke had been gunning for. He forced a smile on his face, nodded at Naruto encouragingly and boldly walked up to the brightly painted stall stacked high with crates of vegetables of every kind.

“Hello Auntie Marika!” Sasuke called out to the plump woman tending to a stack of carrots. She turned around at the sound of his voice, beaming from ear to ear.

“Sasuke!” She called out in delight. “Shopping for your brother again?”

“Yup.” Sasuke always found himself slipping into childishly cheerful speech patterns whenever he came here. He still wasn't sure whether he found it annoying or comforting.

Suddenly Marika jerked, like something invisible had slapped her across the face. Her eyes widened, and she stared blankly over Sasuke's shoulder like she wasn't quite sure what to do next: run or hide. Sasuke did his best to keep his smile on his face, though he was slightly unnerved by this flinching behaviour: he'd never seen Marika act like that before.

“This is my friend Naruto.” Sasuke said calmly, gesturing behind him. Naruto had hung back when they got to the stall. He too, looked like he didn't know whether to run or hide. “I told him that I shop here 'cause you always have the best stuff.”

“Oh.” Marika said timidly. Carefully, she straightened herself out, took a deep breath and shot a hesitant smile at the boy behind him. “Hello there, dear. Are you shopping today as well?”

Naruto stared at her in shock. He'd crept up closer to Sasuke until he was almost clutching at the back of his shirt. Sasuke looked behind him to raise an eyebrow at the startled boy, and Naruto flushed red. He turned to Marika and bobbed his head in a bow. “Hello.” He said politely. “Yes, I am. Sasuke ran into me further up the street.” He gulped nervously, and not for the first time in the last fifteen minutes or so, Sasuke wondered why Naruto seemingly walked on eggshells around shopkeepers. Shouldn't it be the other way round? What happened to 'the customer is always right'?

“How nice.” Marika smiled a bit wider. Whatever hesitations she seemingly had about Naruto, his polite greeting had certainly done something to calm her nerves. “What can I get you boys?”

Sasuke handed over the list that Itachi gave him. It was far easier to just let Marika collect the things he wanted rather than hunting all over her stall for the various bits and pieces. Marika took the list and eagerly started bagging things up for him, chatting about her small grandson as she did so. Sasuke smiled and nodded, asking polite questions when needed. Naruto just stuck to Sasuke like a limpet, silent and unsure.

“So how is your work at the Academy going Sasuke?” Marika asked as she moved to weigh out the peas that Itachi wanted. “Still top of the class?”

“Of course.” Sasuke said smugly. “How could I not? Nii-san's been helping me train.”

“Oh, of course, of course. I think it's lovely that your brother has been spending more time with you recently. I kept telling Mikoto: Itachi's too young to be working _all_ the time. It's nice that he's settled back down into regular jonin services.”Marika brushed the peas into a bag and twisted it shut, placing in in a bag with Sasuke's other purchases. “And what about you dear?” She smiled encouragingly at Naruto. “You go to the Academy with Sasuke right? How's your school work going?”

Naruto, taken aback at suddenly being addressed, looked frantically to Sasuke for help. Sasuke wondered how he could act so confident and loud at school, yet completely crumble in this relatively minor social interaction. Feeling merciful, he threw the poor boy a rope. “Naruto's in my class.” Sasuke said. “But he's dead last.”

Naruto scowled at him. “I'm not gonna be the dead last forever!” he retorted. “I'll get better, just watch!”

“I suppose you are okay at taijutsu, at least.” Sasuke admitted, turning back to Marika. “He beat one of the Nara clan kids in a spar last week.”

Naruto turned bright red. “That.... That wasn't really anything.” He said lamely, for once in his life he wasn't jumping at the chance to brag about his jumped up feeling of greatness. Sasuke wondered what was wrong with him. “You know Shikamaru, Sasuke, he's really lazy. He just wanted to get the spar over with so that he could sit down.”

Sasuke shrugged. “Yeah, but most of the time Shikamaru does that by skipping class or by going for a quick knockout. Last time you sparred, he gave up because he saw that he wasn't going to be able to win against you quickly 'cause everyone knows that you have freakish stamina. So he gave up rather than commit to an extended fight.”

Naruto frowned at him, still not convinced, but Marika was the one that spoke up next. “Besides, a win is a win dear,” She winked at him. “If the Nara boy was fool enough to give up, then I'd just run with it. Using determination and stamina to force an opponent to surrender can be a good fighting strategy in its own right. You did well to use them to your advantage.”

“Auntie Marika was a Jonin before she gave it all up to run the stall with her husband.” Sasuke told Naruto. “So she knows what she's talking about.”

Naruto's eyes widened. “Thank you!” He gushed, his usual grin spreading across his face. Sasuke could feel the boy's walls slowly falling.

Marika waved a hand at him. “Don't mention it.” She said. “It's every ninja's duty to give out a bit of advice every now and then to the younger generation. But I wouldn't take my words as gospel, It's been quite a while since this old lady has been in a proper fight!” She cackled heartily and handed the bag full of Sasuke's vegetables over to him. “Now, what can I get for you... Naruto...”

Sasuke and Marika looked at Naruto as he squirmed under their questioning stares. “Uh....”

Sasuke sighed. “You don't have any clue, do you?”

“Hey! I.... I... sorta.... no. Not really.” Naruto deflated under their looks. “I wasn't really sure if anyone was going to sell me anything. So I just figured I'd come and see what I could get.”

“Where do you usually get your vegetables if you don't get them here?” Sasuke wanted to know. “Just get what you get when you shop there.”

Naruto's cheeks flamed up again. “I... I don't really shop many places...” He admitted quietly. “The convenience stores let me come in and get stuff as long as I'm quiet... but they don't really have vegetables...” his eyes roamed over the overwhelming choice of greens in front of him.

Marika just stared at him. “But... how do you eat your vegetables then, if you never buy any?” There was an edge of horror in her voice, and Sasuke was starting to feel a similar feeling.

Naruto shrugged. “Sometimes I eat ramen with vegetables in it.”

Sasuke and Marika just stared at him for a long, long moment. Then they looked at each other. Then they looked back at Naruto.

“No wonder you're so thin!” Marika said mournfully.

“How have you lived to be eight idiot?” Sasuke shook his head. “It's amazing you haven't dropped dead. Haven't you ever heard of scurvy?”

“What's that?” Naruto asked innocently. “Is that a vegetable?” he frowned. “What's it taste like?”

Sasuke was starting to despair for the universe. He wanted to go stick his head through a wall, but there wasn't one nearby. Instead he just covered his face with one hand and slowly shook his head. Meanwhile, Marika was hastily explaining that scurvy was a sickness that people got when they didn't eat enough fruits and vegetables.

“Oh.” Naruto exclaimed. “That's okay. I don't get sick.”

“Everyone gets sick now and then Idiot.” Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Especially if they never eat any vegetables.”

“Well, I don't.” Naruto sniffed. “Besides, I'm trying aren't I? The old man said I should eat vegetables, so I came down here to see if I could get any.”

“Your grandpa gives wise advice.” Marika said with a nod. “You should do as he says and eat more vegetables.”

Naruto looked at her in confusion, opened his mouth as if to say something, then shut it again. “Anyway, so I came down to the market to see what I could get. I figured I'd learn how to cook it once I got it. I have a cookbook the old man gave me somewhere.”

Sasuke shook his head. “I can't believe you came here with that sort of flimsy plan.” he muttered.

Marika ignored Sasuke and turned her attention fully on Naruto. “So, seeing as you've never really cooked anything like vegetables before, you'll probably want something that's relatively easy to cook up.” She turned to survey her stall with an experienced eye.

Sasuke and Naruto watched her with interest as she picked up various things, then put them down, thinking all the while to herself.

“Well...” She finally turned around. “There's always stir-fry, it's pretty easy to cook, and you can put pretty much anything in it.” She plucked a pad from beside one of the crates and started jotting things down. “We'll start you off with some carrots, some beans... ooh, and you can't go wrong with a bit of cabbage.” She plucked the vegetables out of their crates and gently put them in a plastic bag, which she handed over to Naruto. She then ripped the top page off her pad and pressed it into Naruto's hand with a smile. “I've written down the instructions on how to prepare the vegetables and how to cook them together in a stir-fry. You might need to pick up another couple of things, but you should be able to get them at a convenience store.” She smiled down at Naruto, who looked overwhelmed with the kindness that Marika was giving him.

Sasuke couldn't help but smile too. Marika looked like she was completely over whatever misplaced suspicion she'd had of Naruto. He was glad that he'd thought to bring Naruto over to her, there was no way that someone who had been such good friends with his mother would have acted the same way towards him as the rest of the stall keepers seemed to.

“Now, Sasuke dear, your total comes to 158ryo, Naruto, yours is 45ryo.” She grinned at Sasuke. “And don't try to argue me any lower Sasuke, you know I'm already giving you boys my special price.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes and handed over the money. “I'm not smart enought to bargain with you auntie.” He said wickedly. “You'll cheat me out of everything!”

Naruto just stared at her and dumbly turned over his money as well. He stammered his thanks, and Marika told him firmly to come back to her stall next time he needed vegetables.

“Just ask Sasuke to bring you back if you can't find me.” She said cheerfully. “This market can be a bit of a labyrinth sometimes!”

Sasuke promised that he'd bring Naruto back with a grin. Somehow he thought it would be fun to drag Naruto back here to watch Marika nag him about eating more greens; it certainly beat her nagging _him._

Naruto saved his frown for when they had bid Marika goodbye and were walking away down the market street together again.

“What?” Sasuke asked.

“She was... nice...” Naruto said slowly. He was looking down at the change that Marika had given him when he had paid in wonder. Sasuke couldn't help but notice that the entire bag of vegetables that Naruto had bought off Marika cost only a little bit more than that runty cabbage that he had almost bought off the other stall keeper.

“You sound like you've never met anyone nice before.” Sasuke joked. “Don't worry, the whole world isn't like that nasty stall keeper from earlier.”

“Of course I've met nice people!” Naruto said forcefully. “The old man is really nice!”

“I didn't know you had a grandpa.” Sasuke said, suddenly interested in Naruto for the first time. From the small bits of knowledge that most people had picked up just from hanging out with him all the time at school, he knew that Naruto was an orphan, but he didn't really know much else. He hadn't really cared before now. Now that he thought about it carefully though, it would make sense that even if Naruto didn't have parents, he had to have a grandparent of an aunt or something, after all, who looked after him otherwise?

Naruto made a face at Sasuke's statement. “The old man isn't my _real_ grandpa.” Naruto said. “He checks up on me, and he found me my apartment when I left the orphanage, so he lets me call him that.”

“Oh.” Sasuke trailed off. So it was true: Naruto really was totally alone in the world. Sasuke wondered for a moment how that would feel. If Itachi hadn't saved all the others, and if somehow he was left alive, the last Uchiha.....

“-so he tells the chunin off whenever they forget to tell him that I dropped by to see him, and he tells _me_ off for trying to sneak past the chunin guards all the time, but it's all fun and games, you know. I think they secretly like it.” _Oh. Naruto was still talking._ Sasuke frantically tried to tune back into what the other boy was saying. “The old man tells me that I shouldn't prank the guards, because they're just doing their job protecting him and all, but it's really tempting, you know-”

“Wait.” Sasuke cut him off. “Your 'old man' has guards?” He blinked at Naruto in confusion. What kind of guardian did Naruto have? Some sort of clan big shot? What if it was a yakuza boss or something? He'd heard yakuza sometimes hired ninja as guards.

Naruto rolled his eyes. “Duh, Sasuke. Of course he has guards! He's the Hokage after all!” Then Naruto carried on walking normally as if it was everyday that people had the Hokage as their legal guardians.

Sasuke just stared at him for a while. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something about it, but then he shut it again. For once, Sasuke just felt like going with the flow. So Naruto called the Hokage, the most powerful man in the village, one of the most powerful men in the world, 'the old man'. Huh, that's okay. No big deal. Sasuke just shook his head and moved on.

Sasuke walked with Naruto for quite a way even after they left the market street. To his surprise, Naruto was actually quite fun to talk to. He nattered away at top speed about anything and everything, and he didn't actually require Sasuke to say much at all, which suited him just fine. He actually managed to learn a thing or two from Naruto's stories. Like, for example, the fact that the Hokage had a soft spot for chocolate fudge. Naruto often bribed him with it to get out of trouble.

Eventually though, they reached the spot where they had to part. Naruto's apartment was in the denser, cheaper part of Konoha, while Sasuke's place was nearer a lot of the lesser used training grounds in a firmly middle class section of the village. Naruto hesitated just as he turned to leave, biting his lip and staring at Sasuke thoughtfully, like he wanted to say something.

“What?” Sasuke asked.

“Uh.... earlier...” He trailed off. “When you said to Marika-san that I....” He bit his lip again. “.... You told her that I was your... your friend....” Naruto was looking firmly at the dirt between his sandals.

Sasuke blinked. _Did I say that?_ All of the colour drained out of his face as he realised that he did. Right when they'd arrived at the stall, Sasuke had pointed to Naruto and introduced him as: '... _my friend Naruto...'._ Sasuke felt a little ill, and he found himself staring at the ground too. “Uh... sorry...” he muttered. “I didn't mean to just assume.....” He trailed off, feeling stupid. He'd had such a good time talking with (and mercilessly teasing) Naruto that he'd utterly forgotten what an absolute klutz he was at social interactions and friend-making. “...I mean... It was rude of me to just _introduce_ you to other people as my friend, when you don't want to be, but...”

“What makes you think I don't want to be?” The quiet voice that interrupted him sounded absolutely nothing like Naruto.

Sasuke looked up in shock to see Naruto standing straight in front of him, bright blue eyes staring evenly at him. There was something in his expression. It was something different than Sasuke had ever really seen in Naruto before. It was a mixture of honesty, nervousness and hope. From the churning in his own gut, Sasuke knew his face was probably displaying the same sort of emotions.

“What makes you think I don't want to be your friend?” Naruto repeated seriously.

It took a while before Sasuke could form a coherent thought. Maybe it wasn't a quiet Naruto that was the most unnatural thing in the world, serious Naruto was far freakier. That was weirdness on par with humans breathing water, not air, or a cheerful Itachi that cracked bad jokes all the time.

“I... I didn't think you'd want to be... because no one else does...” Sasuke said.

“But...” Naruto frowned at him. “But you're the most popular guy in our class! You could have tons of friends if you wanted to!”

“You really don't know anything, do you?” Sasuke huffed. “I tried to make friends. It just didn't work. Either they annoyed me, or they thought I was stuck up... or scary...” He thought about the boy that he broke the nose of three weeks ago. The boy still flinched if he came close to him. “I've tried everything. I couldn't figure it out. Then I realised that the only reason that they all like me is that they think I'm cool and aloof – mysterious, you know. They don't actually want to be friends with me, they just want to admire how good I am at stuff.”

Naruto's serious face disappeared in an instant to be replaced an unimpressed smirk. “Tough at the top, is it?” he asked smugly.

“Oh shut up Dead Last!” Sasuke snapped back.

Then the two boys grinned. Somehow the sly jabs and insults that they'd always flung around like water at each other didn't feel much like insults anymore. Sasuke wondered what that meant. Had something changed?

Naruto stuck his hands in his pockets, plastic bag of vegetables swinging on his wrist as he hummed a cheerful tune. Serious Naruto was gone, thank goodness, and crazy, wild Naruto was back. Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief. A crazy and wild Naruto was something he could deal with.

“So... see you at school tomorrow Sasuke?” Naruto asked casually, turning around to start the walk back to his apartment.

Sasuke grinned. “Yeah, see you tomorrow Naruto.” he made to turn around too as Naruto started to walk away, then he thought of something. “Hey!”

Naruto turned back to frown at him. He was already halfway up the street.

“You'd better cook that stir-fry of Marika's tonight!” Sasuke yelled out to him. “'cause you need to bring the leftovers for lunch tomorrow as proof that you actually ate the vegetables!”

Naruto's grin spread wider than Sasuke thought was possible and he stuck his tongue out in reply. Sasuke poked his tongue out back, basking in the small moment of childishness. Then he turned and started walking down the street towards his home, an unknown, but surprisingly warm, feeling growing in his chest.


	4. Chapter 4

 “Here.” A smug voice jolted from his lunchtime stupor. “Proof.” A lunchbox was unceremoniously shoved under his nose for Sasuke to examine.

“Hmmm.... so you did make the stir-fry...” Sasuke murmured, poking the sludge of vegetables with his own chopsticks. “...but not very well.”

Naruto scowled as he drew back the lunch from Sasuke's poking sticks and flopped unceremoniously onto the grass next to him. “Hey, it tastes okay.” He sniffed. “Besides, it's not like you have to eat it!”

Sasuke sniggered. “Thank god. I don't like carrots at the best of times, let alone when they're burned to a crisp.”

Naruto scooped up a blackened carrot with his chopsticks and shoved it into his mouth. “Tastes just fine to me!” He declared.

Sasuke wrinkled his nose. “Maybe if you haven't had a real stir-fry before.” he said.

Naruto shrugged. “At least I didn't burn the rice.” He said smugly. “I'm good at cooking that.” He showed Sasuke the fluffy white layer next to his leftover sludge in his lunchbox, and Sasuke had to grudgingly admit that the rice was cooked to perfection.

“So what are you eating that's sooooo much better than my stir-fry?” Naruto wanted to know, glaring down at Sasuke's bento. Sasuke gave him a look, but tilted the lunchbox so that he could see the perfect arrangement of rice and healthy side dishes that filled his bento.

“Did your brother make that?” Naruto wanted to know. There was a hint of admiration in his voice, and Sasuke didn't miss the dismayed look that Naruto shot back at his own lunch as soon as he saw Sasuke's.

“Kinda.” Sasuke shrugged. “It's a group effort in the mornings.”

“How?”

“The eight of us kids that go to the Academy all need lunches. The seven that are still at the civilian school have school lunches, but Itachi makes them all sit down and have a proper breakfast while us older kids can get away with grabbing some bread as we race around trying to find everything we need for school. The twins and Eri are the only easy ones, they sleep in until all of us leave, then Itachi feeds them with whatever is left. Then he drops them off at daycare and heads to the Hokage building to do his day job as a ninja.” Sasuke told Naruto. “My point is: the eight lunch boxes get made in the mornings by us older kids raiding the breakfast table and then stuffing it into our own lunch boxes. Itachi and Haruna cooked most of the stuff I'm eating, but I had to pack it myself. See? Group effort.”

Naruto rolled his eyes. “But you didn't _cook_ any of it.” He pointed out. “I think I'm still winning here. I cooked and packed my own lunch.”

“Packing your lunch was probably less dangerous than packing mine.” Sasuke grumbled. “I got elbowed in the stomach by two four-year-olds when I tried to take the last rolled omelette off the plate this morning.”

Naruto had the nerve to laugh in his face at that. “Now I know how to beat you in a fight!” He crowed in delight. “I just have to enlist the help of your two four-year-old cousins!”

“They'd never join your side.” Sasuke retorted. “They like me too much.”But Naruto just kept laughing, and Sasuke couldn't help but see the funny side too. He may not have laughed that loudly, but the quiet chuckles were still there.

Sasuke watched in interest as Naruto turned his attention back to his rather sorry looking lunch and began wolfing down the food like there was no tomorrow. Sasuke looked back down at his own lunch, suddenly feeling the urge to do something completely and utterly crazy.

“Hey Naruto....”

“Hngh?” Naruto tried to swallow his bulging mouth full of food (quite possibly his own tongue as well) and answer Sasuke at the same time. Sasuke took his weird gargling noises as acknowledgement and carried on.

“Have you ever tried a tomato before?”

What the hell, he had two of them anyway...

* * *

 

“Right, so I want you to split up into twos and-” Whatever Iruka-sensei wanted to say next was lost to the general chaos of chattering children. Immediately, kids started pairing off. Choji shifted in his seat so he angled more towards Shikamaru, as if it wasn't already obvious that the two would partner each other. The two quietest kids in the class, Hinata and Shino, caught each other's eyes across the room and mutually decided it would be better if they saved themselves the trouble of being ignored by everyone else by just partnering up. Kiba asked loudly if Akamaru counted as his partner, or did he have to take on a human companion as well? In the midst of all this Sasuke found himself wedged between a budding argument between a group of girls. At the forefront of this argument were Ino and Sakura, spitting insults as they tried to stare each other down. And what was the cause of this vicious argument? Why, who was to have the honour of partnering up with Sasuke, of course.

Sasuke eyed the girls warily, dreading finding out who was going to win. Either way he'd be forced into spending the rest of the lesson sitting next to a smug possessive girl who would flutter her eyelashes at him one minute and glower across the room at her ex-best-friend the next, so he didn't really care who won. He watched them squabble for a few moments before something occurred to him. Technically, they were fighting over him, but really, they were just fighting amongst themselves. They were too busy keeping an eye on what their rivals in love were doing to pay any attention to him. So, naturally, Sasuke took advantage of this. He stood up quietly, exited his row of seats and turned his back on the girls. They didn't even notice.

“Hey.” Sasuke slumped down in the empty seat next to Naruto, who hadn't moved an inch since Iruka-sensei had ordered them all to pair up. There were twenty seven in their class so inevitably someone always ended up partnered to the teacher in these exercises. Sasuke had noted that it was always Naruto who was left partner-less every time. It had reached the point where he didn't even try to find a partner anymore.

“Hey.” Naruto said glancing over at him. “Shouldn't you be down there so the girls can rip you limb from limb in their game of tug-of-war?”

Sasuke shrugged. “Nah. Didn't feel like it.”

“Okay.”

“You do know that I'm not going back down there to partner up with one of those vultures, right?”

“I figured.”

“So it's cool if we're partners?”

“Yup.”

“Okay then.”

Sasuke observed Naruto from out of the corner of his eye. He'd noticed, now that he was spending more and more time with Naruto, that he wasn't hyperactive twenty four hours a day, even if it sure felt like it at times. Naruto had quiet moments like everyone else, it's just nobody noticed him having these moments because it was like he became completely invisible for the duration of them. Naruto was so loud and in your face, the moment he shut up it was like muting the television set and turning your back on it: he became forgettable. Sasuke found that even though he didn't mind it when Naruto went into quiet mode, there was always something undeniably sad that hung around in the air whenever he was engulfed by a moment like that. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that every time that Sasuke had seen Naruto in quiet mode it was always in a situation just after he'd been snubbed or put down, ignored or downright harassed? Sasuke didn't really get it. But somewhere along the line he'd decided to watch Naruto during moments like these. And somewhere _else_ along the line he'd also developed a protective urge during these moments, glaring his killer Uchiha death stare at anyone who looked like they were getting close enough to kick him while he was down.

The was a duel cry of victory and defeat from the girls standing just in front of the seat Sasuke had abandoned. Ino had won, and Sakura had lost. Ino whirled around, flicking her growing blonde ponytail over her shoulder to smile sweetly at her 'prize'... only to discover that he wasn't there.

“Hurry up and pair off girls!” Iruka-sensei said irritably. “We don't have all day.” He nodded at the seats filled with paired up children behind them. Ino and Sakura both eagerly scoured the classroom to search for where Sasuke had disappeared off to. Sasuke smirked at them both from the back of the classroom in his seat next to Naruto. It was obvious by the way that the two boys had angled slightly to face each other that the two had paired off. Ino and Sakura looked satisfactorily shocked and annoyed. Sasuke's work here was done.

“I can't tell who they're more pissed off at: you or me.” Naruto noted dryly. “Betcha they're going to beat me up after class.”

“See it as a chance to improve your taijutsu.” Sasuke waved a hand at him. “More importantly, I don't have to spend the lesson with a lovestruck monkey-girl clinging to my arm.”

“Ugh. Sounds rough.” Naruto shuddered. “Do you think all girls are born crazy, or is there some place that they all learn?”

Sasuke considered the sulky females of their class, now sullenly picking partners out of who was left. For some reason it amused him greatly that Ino and Sakura, sworn enemies only two minutes ago, had now tossed aside their differences to form a partnership themselves. “I think they're born crazy.” he said firmly. “There's no way that someone could learn to act that idiotically.”

Naruto nodded his agreement, stifling a laugh as the last of the kids settled down and Iruka-sensei was standing in front of them once again, telling them what they were supposed to be doing. Sasuke let himself relax as Naruto's laughter slipped out a little louder, earning a scowl from their teacher mid-lecture. It was always a relief to see Naruto come back to his normal self at the end of these quiet moments. Sasuke often thought that he rather preferred his friend with his cheerful personality as opposed to his quiet one.

* * *

 

“Nii-san?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think I could have a friend over for dinner?”

Itachi whipped around to stare at him in surprise, falling out of his combat stance. “A friend?” he asked curiously. “Who?”

Sasuke was torn between embarrassment and pride as he also stepped out of his fighting stance and gave his brother a small, abashed grin. “His name's Naruto.” He said quietly. “He's in my class. Can I invite him over for dinner?”

His older brother's face was unreadable as he considered Sasuke's question. “Interesting.” He said quietly. Sasuke wondered what was so interesting, but sensed that he wouldn't get a straight answer from Itachi if he asked, so instead he waited patiently to see if his brother would give permission for his new friend to come over. “When, in theory, would Naruto be joining us for dinner?”

Sasuke shrugged. His brother hadn't said no, but he hadn't said yes yet either. What was it about Naruto that had the adults acting so jumpy all the time? Even his brother wasn't immune to the mysteriousness that surrounded his friend. “I haven't asked him yet.” He told Itachi. “But I wanted to see if he could come over this Saturday. We're going to work on homework together. I figured that it would be better to do it at our house instead of his apartment. His place is really small.”

Itachi nodded at him firmly. “Okay then. Naruto can come over.” Itachi flashed him a rare smile as he resettled himself into a fighting stance, beckoning Sasuke to attack. “You'll have to tell me what kind of food he likes though, so I can make it on Saturday.”

Sasuke grinned as he fell back into his own fighting stance, poised on the balls of his feet and waiting for a good moment to strike. “Don't worry, Naruto eats _anything_.” He told his brother, wrinkling up his nose a little. “...and I mean everything.” he sniffed. “I've had to break him out of some really bad habits.” He tried not to think about the two-week old rice ball that Naruto had taken a bite out of in front of him only last week. The other boy had found it in his school bag and decided to eat it seeing as he'd forgotten his lunch. It was a miracle Naruto had lived to be eight years old considering how often he seemed to poison himself.

Itachi chuckled. “Well, it's nice to see that you are looking out for your friend.” He said mildly. “Now, are you going to fight me, or is our spar over for today?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes but chose not to retort. Instead he threw hesitation to the wind and launched himself at his brother with a snarl of determination. The spar was far from over yet!

* * *

 

“And don't stop to talk to the little kids.” Sasuke told Naruto seriously as the rounded the corner. “They're devious time-wasters. If you give them an inch they'll take a mile and before you know it you'll be giving them all piggy back rides around the garden when you only meant to say hi.”

Naruto waved a hand at him, grinning from ear to ear. “Yeah, yeah.” He replied. “I got it.”

“And watch out for the potted plants in the living room, Hikari hates anyone touching them without permission. They were her mother's plants.”

“Gotcha.”

“No pranks.” Sasuke said firmly. “Lots of them are twitchy. They won't take it well.”

“You already told me.” Naruto rolled his eyes. “'sides, I'm not so rude to start setting up pranks in someone else's house when they invited me over for dinner.” Naruto sniffed. “I do have standards.”

“And make sure you don't-”

“Sasuke, seriously, you've been telling me the same stuff for the past three days. I think I can do this.” Naruto raised an eyebrow. “Has anyone ever told you that you're a control freak?”

“I... I... I'm not a _control freak_!” Sasuke spluttered as they walked up to the dark blue front door with the red and white Uchiha fan painted in the centre. Naruto just laughed as Sasuke scowled at him and pushed the door open.

“I'm home!” Sasuke yelled as he stomped inside. Naruto followed behind, sniggering as he muttered a small greeting, apologising for intruding into the house.

Luckily the hallway was deserted, but Sasuke knew it was only a matter of time before someone realised that he had brought a friend home, and they would be bombarded with attention. He stripped off his sandals quickly and tossed them into his shoe basket.

“You can put your shoes in there too.” he nodded at Naruto and then the box. “If you leave them lying around they're bound to get lost.”

Naruto nodded and hastily tugged off his own sandals, shoving them into the basket on top of Sasuke's. Then he straightened up and shoved his hands into his pockets, looking at Sasuke expectantly.

Sasuke bit his lip. He was tempted just to sneak past everyone and take Naruto upstairs to his room to do their homework. It would save a lot of time and energy. He didn't really want to answer a thousand and one questions about who Naruto was and what he was doing in their house. But unfortunately, it would be rude to sneak off without properly introducing Naruto to his older brother. Itachi had given him permission to have Naruto over in the first place, he would probably want to meet him too.

“Come on.” Sasuke said, turning to make his way down the hall. “I'll introduce you to Nii-san.”

“Cool!”

His brother was, of course, in the kitchen. It was still felt rather funny and surprising every time that Sasuke found his brother in there; back _before_ he could have counted on one hand the number of times that he had seen his brother in the kitchen. The kitchen always used to be his mother's domain, he hadn't even known that his brother knew how to cook until their first night together in the new house. He really should have guessed though; Itachi knew how to do _everything_.

Sasuke cleared his throat at the doorway to the kitchen, stopping the quiet conversation between Itachi and the two kids sitting at the kitchen table doing their homework. Chizue and Sora looked a little miffed that Sasuke was interrupting their homework quiz session, but Itachi didn't look bothered. He patted Sora on the head before he could open up his mouth and rudely demand that Sasuke quit bugging them in the blunt fashion of a six-year-old and nodded at Sasuke to go ahead with what he needed to say.

“Uh...” Sasuke glanced back into the hallway, where Naruto was hovering at his back, just out of sight from those in the kitchen. Sasuke stepped into the kitchen, allowing Naruto to follow in behind him. Chizue eyed the newcomer warily and Sora's mouth dropped open a little, like he couldn't believe his eyes. Itachi, as always, was unreadable. “Naruto, this is my Nii-san, Itachi Uchiha.” Sasuke gestured at his brother. Itachi's mouth twitched into a small smile as he nodded at Naruto. “And that's Sora...” Sasuke pointed at the boy, who waved at Naruto, “... and Chizue.” She nodded at Naruto, face guarded like she didn't know what to make of the intruder to their home yet. “They're my cousins.”

“Hi.” Naruto said, rather stupidly. Sasuke rolled his eyes. Naruto still wasn't very good at the whole 'social interactions' thing, and the thing that tripped him up the most seemed to be introductions. Sasuke was working on it with him, but there was something a little sad about an Uchiha having to be the social life coach of someone else, they tended to have their own social deficiencies to deal with.

“So... this is Naruto.” Sasuke gestured towards his friend, completing the introduction, but leaving an awkward pause when Sasuke realised he didn't really know what else to say. “We'll be doing homework together upstairs, okay? Bye!” Before anyone could say anything else, Sasuke turned sharply and marched out of the kitchen, grabbing the back of Naruto's shirt to drag him along as he did so.

Sasuke dragged Naruto down the hallway as the kitchen behind them dissolved into not so subtle giggles. Sasuke felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment as he picked up on the very quiet chuckles of Itachi mixed in with Sora's snorts and Chizue's chiming laughter. A very confused Naruto was squirming in his grip as he staggered after him, wondering aloud what was going on and:

“...Are they laughing at us?” Naruto asked. “Why are they laughing at us?” He twisted, trying to get a look at Sasuke's face. “Hey, did I do something wrong? I was trying not to be weird, ya know....”

Sasuke sighed heavily, and let Naruto's shirt go so that he could walk properly. They had reached the stairs, and it was probably a bit dangerous to try and drag him up those.

“They weren't laughing at you, just at me.” Sasuke sniffed and avoided Naruto's eyes.

“Huh?” Naruto blinked at him. “Why?”

Sasuke winced. “Well... I'm not exactly famous around here for being very social.” Sasuke admitted. “Sora and Chizue were shocked that I'd actually invited someone over.”

“That's funny?” Naruto's face screwed up. “I don't get it.”

“Um... actually they're laughing because of how awkward I was introducing you, and then I added to the awkwardness by escaping the room as soon as I could.”

“Ah.” Naruto's face cleared up, to be replaced by his thinking face. He paused for a moment. “So what now?”

Sasuke nodded up the staircase. “Now we go up to my room and do our homework.” he said. “That was the whole point of you coming over, remember?”

Naruto's face fell at the thought of doing book work. “Oh.” He muttered. “Right.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Come on.” He nudged the boy towards the staircase. “I'll help you out. It'll be easy! Then we can practice shuriken throwing until dinner, deal?”

It doesn't take much to convince Naruto into doing something he didn't want to do, forget having to use the stick, the carrot worked every time. “Sweet!”

Sasuke began to climb the stairs, praying that they wouldn't bump into anyone else before dinner. The last thing that he needed was to go through another painfully awkward introduction.

* * *

 

“So the rumours are true.”

The glare that the intruder got from Sasuke was truly one of the most frightening in the world. It screamed: _Annoying! Bastard! Go away! a_ nd _Nosy!_ all at once. Unfortunately Matsu was just as much Uchiha as Sasuke was, and those kinds of glares didn't work so well on him as they did others, so instead of running away with his tail between his legs (as Hideki had done half an hour ago) he just smirked at his younger cousin.

Sasuke straightened up from his throwing stance to glare more intensely at Matsu, but it didn't seem to work at all. “What rumours?” He asked sourly.

Matsu grinned wolfishly. “The whole house is buzzing that little Sasuke brought home a _friend_.” he raised his eyebrows as he looked around Sasuke to Naruto, who had also straightened from his throwing stance to stare at the older boy curiously. “So I just had to come and see if it was true.”

“I hate you sometimes.” Sasuke muttered darkly, holstering the shuriken in his hand.

Matsu just kept grinning like a mad man and reached out to ruffle his hair before turning his attention to Naruto. “Hello.” He said politely. “I'm Matsu Uchiha, another one of Sasuke's cousins.” He curved his back slightly, giving Naruto a small bow in greeting.

Naruto floundered for a minute, taken by surprise by the show of impeccable manners, before bowing back hastily. “I'm Naruto Uzumaki.” He mumbled. “It's nice to meet you.”

“I know who you are.” Matsu said slyly. “I think everyone in the Academy knows the dead last of Sasuke's class.”

Sasuke turned to hiss at Matsu with anger as Naruto wilted in response to his careless comment. Sasuke felt appalled at the behaviour of his cousin. He hadn't thought that Matsu could possibly be so rude! Sure, Sasuke may call Naruto 'Dead Last' all the time, but that was different! It wasn't so much of a hateful taunt when Sasuke said it anymore, and he only really used it to spur Naruto on to try harder, reminding him that he had a long way to go before he'd ever be considered a true ninja. Sasuke vowed to take a leaf out of his new friend's book. Revenge would be swift, and something unpleasant would be going in either Matsu's bed, shoes or backpack tonight when the other boy wasn't looking.

“You're famous!” Matsu continued, seemingly ignoring the lasers that Sasuke was shooting out of his eyes at him. “Most of my class is still talking about the time that you filled all the teachers' desks with mud. That was awesome!”

Naruto frowned in confusion, but didn't look so put out at the earlier insult anymore. He certainly perked up at the mention of his pranks.

“Personally, I still want to know how you managed to get the drop on Takumi-Sensei.” Matsu confessed. “He's never slipped up once that I've ever seen, apart from the time that you managed to set up a tripwire that coated him in silly string. How did you manage to distract him before he noticed the wire?”

Naruto's grin was wide and mischievous now. “Takumi-Sensei is colour blind.” He told Matsu. “It's not that bad, but it means that he over compensates whenever he sees movement out of the corner of his eyes in case he misses something because he can't distinguish the colours. I flashed a mirror from a tree right in his side vision when he existed the classroom so he didn't notice the tripwire until it was too late.” Naruto swelled with pride.

Matsu just blinked at him, truly surprised. “Really? Takumi-Sensei is colour blind?” From the sound of it, Sasuke came to the conclusion that the fact was something that the man's own students hadn't known, yet Naruto did...

“Yup.” Naruto said. “I heard a couple of the teachers talking about it when they were discussing who had to cover for his class when they learn scavenging, seeing as he can't teach them how to distinguish between different plants very well.”

“Hmmm...” Matsu looked thoughtful at this, clearly impressed with Naruto. “You're really good at information gathering, aren't you? Somehow, that's surprising...”

Naruto was startled at the compliment, and stammered something about how he really wasn't that good, just lucky. Sasuke eyed his friend thoughtfully though. He'd thought for ages that Naruto's pranks were only useful for letting off steam and fooling around. Certainly something that got Naruto into trouble all the time would not prove _useful_ later on. Clearly he had to rethink things. Naruto's pranks were always meticulously planned and ingeniously creative. Now that Sasuke thought about it from a shinobi perspective, it was not such a big leap to transfer any of Naruto's pranking skills into a lethal trapping ones. That's not to mention the fact that Naruto observed his targets for days before pulling off a strike if he didn't know them already. While the information gathering was for childish purposes, there was no denying the fact that Naruto was good at snooping around and finding out his enemies weaknesses. In fact, if Sasuke ever wanted to stage a hostile takeover of the Academy, Naruto would probably have all the information that he would ever need to do so.

Interesting.

Sasuke stowed that information away for later. Conquering the Academy could always be an option if he ever got _really_ bored in class.

“Why is that surprising, Matsu?” Sasuke smirked. “You know, he's not even the Dead Last of our class anymore. He beat Kiba in the last test by the skin of his teeth. Now he's just the _almost_ Dead Last.”

Naruto scowled at Sasuke and gave him a playful shove. “Smug bastard.” he muttered darkly at Sasuke. “Just because you got top of the class again...”

Sasuke's smirk spread wider. “Of course I got top again.” He said smugly. “I'm just that good.” He shoved Naruto back: eye for an eye style.

Matsu resigned himself to being forgotten as the shoves turned into punches, and the punches turned into kicks, and the kicks turned into... was that a headbutt? The two boys had dissolved into an impromptu taijutsu spar right there in the Uchiha's makeshift shuriken range. Without a word he backed away and left the two of them to it. He never considered trying to break it up. Even from that short conversation, Matsu had figured out that Sasuke and Naruto had one of those strange types of friendships that would have to be expressed in fist fights every now and then. To be honest, it wasn't all that strange a type of friendship inside a shinobi village.

Matsu shrugged as he let himself back into the house, tuning out the noise of the spar behind him. He had been worried about Sasuke. The kid that he'd started looking at as a little brother recently seemed to be really struggling with the task that Itachi-nii-san had given them. Matsu had been worried that Sasuke might give up and decide not to try to make friends anymore. It looked like he'd been worrying over nothing. Sasuke may have taken his time picking up a friend, but by the sound of the rather enthusiastic fight outside, it seemed that he'd picked well.

Matsu smothered a laugh as he heard Sasuke howl something about how biting was against the rules of a friendly spar, then completely lost it as Naruto declared back that this wasn't a friendly spar: this was WAR!

_Oh yeah, that friend's defiantly a keeper Sasuke, if only for the entertainment value for the rest of the us._ Matsu thought with a chuckle.

“I have to tell Itachi-nii-san about this.” He laughed.

* * *

 

Dinner was surprisingly... normal...

It helped that by the time dinner actually came around, most of the extended family had been introduced to Naruto. Chizue and Sora had immediately spread the news that Sasuke had brought a friend over the minute that Sasuke and Naruto had left the kitchen, and Sasuke had resigned himself pretty quickly to the fact that a new curious Uchiha child was going to be interrupting his time with Naruto every ten minutes or so. By the time that they actually got to dinner time, Naruto had also met Haruna, Hikari, and Arata (Being part of the 'older kids' crowd meant that they were brazen enough to just barge into his room to inspect the guest the minute they heard), Matsu and Hideki (who came out to interrupt the shuriken practice) Yoshi and Samuru (who lingered outside his bedroom door for _ages_ before they plucked up the courage to knock) and Ichiro, Eri and the twins (They ambushed them just as they came in from shuriken practice with a thousand and one questions). Sasuke tried not to dwell too much on the fact that the twins seemed a little too interested in Naruto's stories about all the 'awesome' pranks he'd pulled off. Hopefully Matsu would be able to curb any new troublemaking habits that his little brothers picked up from his friend.

At least introductions to the rest of the family didn't take too long. Sasuke just breezed into the dining room, waved a hand at Naruto, explained who he was and lazily pointed out all of the kids that Naruto hadn't had the pleasure of meeting yet. He wasn't too put out by the glazed look that came over Naruto's face as he got assaulted with yet another four or five names to remember. He didn't really expect Naruto to remember all of the names of his cousins. Sometimes even Itachi couldn't keep everyone straight, accidentally stumbling through several wrong names before eventually grasping the one that he actually wanted to call out. The less said about mixing up the twins the better. Sasuke suspected that even Matsu had a hard time keeping those two straight. There was a reason that everyone just referred to them as 'the twins'.

Apart from being overwhelmed by the sheer number of cousins that he had been introduced to, Naruto managed to stumble his way through the dinner pretty well. There had been a moment when Itachi had brought out a dish of stir-fry that had caused a little teasing on the part of Sasuke and a bit of groaning from Naruto, which got them a few weird looks from his family. However Naruto seemed to fit in with the boisterous atmosphere of the massive family dinner well, even though Sasuke knew for a fact that he had never shared a meal with any group larger than just him and perhaps one other person before.

The most interesting part of the night, however, had to be when Itachi had sent all of the little kids off to bed, and all those aged seven and up hung out together in the dining room drinking tea. If the youngest of them hadn't been seven, and the oldest of them fourteen, Sasuke would have felt like he'd been included in a get-together usually reserved for grown-ups. As it was, it was almost like they were playing at being adults, Itachi was the only one that could pull off the role with any sort of credibility, and even he had moments where it seemed surreal that he was in charge.

It was after the little kids had been unceremoniously shoved into bed and threatened upon fear of death to stay there that Naruto opened his big mouth and asked the question that Sasuke had been waiting on all night.

“So how come you've got so many cousins, Sasuke?” Naruto's tone was bright, but his smile wilted a little at how quiet the room became after he spoke.

Sasuke realised he should have told Naruto a little more about his current living arrangements before inviting him over. He opened his mouth to give Naruto a quick explanation and a promise to give him more details later, but Haruna beat him to it.

“We're not really Sasuke's cousins, Naruto.” She said quietly, taking a sip of her tea. “It's just easier to say that we are rather than going into the complicated details of how we're all _actually_ related.”

Naruto's face furrowed into confusion again. Sasuke should have seen this coming. Naruto had a very limited experience of family. He never spoke about his deceased parents, and Sasuke had started to suspect that he might not even know who they were. If Naruto barely understood the concept of parents, how could he possibly wrap his head around the idea of siblings and grandparents, let alone Aunts, Uncles, cousins and so on. The fact that one person could have so many relations was probably mind boggling to Naruto.

“For example, I think Itachi-nii-san and Sasuke are something like my...” Haruna bit her lip, thinking it over. “...fourth cousins?” She looked to Itachi for confirmation.

Itachi only shrugged. “I think we might be third cousins once removed, actually.” He said.

Naruto just looked at the two of them blankly. “What does that mean?”

“Fourth cousins mean that we share a great, great, great grandparent.” Itachi said. “But as I said, I think we're third cousins, once removed, so I think my great, great grandmother was your great, great, great grandmother, if I remember correctly.”

It was not hard to see that Naruto's brain had crashed and burned. Sasuke waved a hand in front of his face to see if he was still functional. He blinked a couple of times, then slowly came back to reality. “No wonder you guys just stick to cousins.” He shuddered. “It'd be a nightmare trying to remember all that.”

“Eri and I are real first cousins.” Akane piped up from her seat next to Hideki. “But I don't really know how I'm related to everyone else. It doesn't really matter anyway. We're all Uchiha, but there were so many of us that most of us aren't that closely related.”

“I think the closest relative to Itachi-Nii-san and Sasuke is Yoshi.” Hikari mused. “Isn't her father your first cousin?”

Sasuke frowned. “Really?”

Itachi was already nodding. “Yoshi is Mother's nephew's daughter.” He said. “I remember mother dragging the two of us to his wedding, it was when you were a baby Sasuke, you wouldn't remember.” Suddenly Itachi smirked. “Mother had to leave the ceremony early because you wouldn't stop crying.”

Everyone but Sasuke sniggered at this embarrassing little anecdote that Itachi had managed to dig up. Naruto suddenly looked very mischievous, which made Sasuke think that perhaps Naruto had discovered a new goal in life: get Itachi to reveal as many embarrassing stories about Sasuke as possible for use as black mail. Sasuke swore right then and there that he would do his absolute best to keep Naruto and Itachi far, far, far away from one another. The consequences of not doing so didn't bear thinking about.

“So does that mean that Yoshi is second in line to be head of the family after Sasuke?” Arata wondered out loud. “Theoretically speaking, of course.”

Itachi fixed him with a look. “Yoshi is five.” He said bluntly. “I think you guys have better options should Sasuke and I leave you alone.” His face darkened. “Not that either of us plan on leaving.”

“I know that.” Arata waved a hand at him. “I was just curious.”

Itachi shrugged. “Actually, should something happen to me, my current will states that Haruna would be the legal guardian for all of you.” He admitted.

Haruna nearly dropped her tea.

“Sasuke would be the head of the family, but not until he reached genin rank.” Itachi went on. “If Sasuke died before achieving that rank, or elected not to become a ninja, Haruna would assume the role of matriarch of the clan.”

There was a long moment of silence as everyone contemplated this fact. Then Sasuke spluttered. “Like I'd ever chose not to be a ninja!” he scoffed.

Itachi shrugged again and went back to his tea. “Stranger things have happened.” he said wryly.

“Why does Sasuke need to be a ninja in order to be head of the family?” Naruto asked.

“Because we're a ninja clan.” Matsu told him. “The head of the clan can't be a civilian, it's forbidden by clan law.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway.” Haruna clapped her hands. “You'd all better be super nice to me, because Itachi-nii-san has basically declared me second in command!”

Arata rolled his eyes at his older sister. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He got a flick on the forehead for that.

From then on the conversation dissolved back into the silliness expected of a group of kids hanging out together. Sasuke tried to force his thoughts away from the preparations that his brother had made for the clan succession. Had he really made a will? It seemed so morbid, but Sasuke realised that it was probably one of the first things that Itachi had done when he had taken over the clan. He was a ninja after all. Even though he didn't take the high risk and difficult missions of the ANBU anymore, Itachi still ran A and B rank missions a lot. There was always a danger that he might not come home from one of them. Sasuke shoved the thought away and turned back to talking with Naruto and the rest of his cousins. Naruto was in the middle of explaining how he managed to glue an entire classroom full of furniture to the ceiling in one night for one of his pranks and Sasuke, for once, was really curious to know how he did it.

* * *

 

“Are you sure that you are alright to walk back to your apartment at this hour?” Itachi's eyes were sharp as they locked onto Naruto's. Naruto thought about brushing off the older boy's worries with his usual smile, but thought the better of it upon closer inspection of his face. Dimly, Naruto remembered that Sasuke had told him that his brother used to serve in ANBU. It was entirely likely that he had been one of his animal faced protectors last year. The old man always assigned him guards every time that October rolled around. He knew that the ANBU watched out for him all year round, he wasn't totally stupid. But during the last half of September and through the whole of October there was an official guard posted on him, keeping him safe in proper shifts, not just keeping an eye out for him every now and then. Naruto didn't know why the villagers grew colder towards him at this time of year, but he'd had enough scary experiences that he didn't question the Hokage worrying about him anymore. He accepted the babysitters without complaint.

“I'll be fine.” He told Itachi quietly. “Someone will be watching.”

Itachi nodded and turned his attention back to the hallway in time for Sasuke's arrival. Naruto and Itachi were standing in the entranceway. Naruto had left his homework up in Sasuke's room, and Itachi had told Sasuke to run up and get it for him so that Naruto wouldn't have to take his sandals off only to put them back on again to leave. Now Sasuke arrived and shoved the homework book into Naruto's hands, staring suspiciously at Itachi and Naruto like he could tell that the two of them had just finished a serious conversation of sorts.

“You okay?” He asked Naruto, peering into his face. “You look all... serious...”

Naruto shrugged and forced a grin onto his face. “I must be tired.” He yawned pointedly. “I'll see you at school on Monday, 'kay?”

“We don't _have_ school on Monday, stupid.” Sasuke huffed. “It's the Kyuubi remembrance festival, remember?”

“Oh, right.” Naruto felt the smile freeze on his face. “Ha ha. I forgot...”

“Typical.” Sasuke rolled his eyes. “We're going together, right? Nii-san says that all us Uchihas have to go to the memorial service, but I can meet you after.”

“Uh...” Naruto's heart thumped in his chest. He desperately wanted to say yes to Sasuke. It sounded like a dream come true to go to a festival with a friend. But the fact remained that he had made a promise to the old man. His promise came first.

“Sorry. But I'm not going to the festival.” Naruto blurted. “I'll see you on Tuesday... Bye!!!” He turned and practically ran out of the Uchiha home, feeling a little horrible for running away.

As his feet pounded the pavement, he couldn't help but notice the two shinobi in masks that leapt from their hiding places around the Uchiha home and started ghosting along the rooftops, shadowing him on his way home. Most people pegged him as stupid, but there were a few things that Naruto was very good at. Spotting people following him was one of the few things he excelled at. Spotting _ANBU_ following him was a piece of cake. Naruto put it down as a side effect of being guarded by ANBU his entire life. He was used to them and their procedures, so it was relatively easy to spot them when they were tailing him.

He wished he knew why the old man was so insistent that he be guarded by elite shinobi during October. He wished that he knew why he was in so much danger this time every year. For most of the year, the villagers ignored him. They kept their children away from him and they refused to serve him at shops. He got glared at a lot, but nothing that bad ever really happened. During October, that all changed. Suddenly people got a lot angrier at him. He avoided crowds during October because people were prone to shoving or tripping him if they thought they could get away with it. Occasionally, a few people would get violent. A drunk had nearly kicked down his apartment door two years ago before the ANBU came to his rescue. The Hokage had placed him in a new apartment building the next day. Last year he had been cornered by a delirious woman on his way home from school. She had rambled all sorts of crazy insults at him and shoved him into a wall. Her long fingernails left gouges up his arms before the ANBU once again intervened and sent her on her way. She didn't really hurt him, only frightened him. Naruto felt a bit stupid later that he had burst into tears when the ANBU came. He felt even stupider that they had taken him to the Hokage when he couldn't stop crying. He had interrupted one of the old man's meetings just because he'd been freaked out by a crazy lady.

This year he was determined that nothing would happen. He took the safest and fastest routes to school and back home again. He never tried to ditch his guard, like he had done before when he had gotten fed up with them following him around. He even cut back on the pranks. He kept his scope smaller: no more pranks in the wider village, he stuck to pranking the Academy during school hours. This year, he was going to hole up in his apartment for the entirety of October tenth and let the ANBU protect him. He promised the old man every year that he would stay clear of the remembrance festivities. Every year he ended up ignoring his promise a little in order to snoop around the festival. Not this year. This year he was playing it safe.

This year was going to be the first year that he wasn't going to get attacked on his birthday.

* * *

 

Sasuke scowled at the door for a long moment after Naruto scampered out of it. “What's his problem?” He grumbled. “I thought he'd _want_ to go with the festival with me.”

A large hand came down onto his head, resting gently atop his black spiky hair. “Don't be mad at Naruto.” Itachi told him quietly. “October is always difficult for him.”

Sasuke turned to stare at his brother accusingly. “You _know_ something.”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“I can't tell you.” Itachi said simply. “To do so would infringe upon the vows that I took when I became an ANBU agent.”

Sasuke scowled at him. “I knew it was weird that Naruto's legal guardian was the Hokage.” He said bluntly. “There _is_ some big secret.”

“I'm still not going to tell you.”

Sasuke sighed. “I know.” He pouted. “Can you at least give me a hint? He's my friend.”

Itachi blinked at him, eyeing him curiously. “Well...” he was hesitant. “... I can tell you that Naruto isn't well liked by the rest of the village, and that sometimes he is targeted around this time every year.”

“Why do they hate him?”

“Can't tell you that.”

“Well... why do they target him now?”

“Can't really tell you that either.” Itachi sighed. “Well... maybe...”

“What?” Sasuke demanded impatiently.

“... you could look at it in the way that the village thinks he's 'bad luck'.” Itachi said.

“Why?”

“Do you know when Naruto-kun's birthday is?”

“Huh?” Sasuke scowled again. “What's that got to do with anything?”

“October tenth.”

Sasuke froze, blinking up at his brother. Itachi met his gaze with an icy one of his own.

“Don't ever repeat anything that I told you here, Sasuke.” Itachi said firmly. “I may not have told you much of anything, but even telling you Naruto's birthday is infringing a little too close to breaking some very important village laws.” His hand was firm on top of Sasuke's head. “I told you what I could, because I believe that you should know as Naruto's friend.” Itachi mussed his hair gently. “Don't let me down little brother.”

Then Itachi left him, standing staring at the door wondering just how deep the mysteries surrounding Naruto Uzumaki went.


	5. Chapter 5

 It was always an experience, walking over to Naruto's place. The neighbourhood was rough. It wasn't quite the side of town that one avoided, but it was close enough that most people didn't venture there unless they had some business in the area. The first couple of times that Sasuke had visited he'd been nervous, convinced that he was going to get mugged or something. However, it soon became apparent that he'd really misread Naruto's neighbours. The other boy flittered through the neighbourhood, a smile on his face and a bounce in his step, just like he did in every other part of town. The difference was that when Naruto got within a couple of blocks of his apartment building, the cold stares that Sasuke was used to the villagers turning on Naruto gave way to tolerance and, in rare cases, smiles. The people that lived in Naruto's apartment building in particular were quite friendly. There wasn't much interaction between people, it wasn't that kind of community, but Sasuke could tell that a lot of Naruto's neighbours were the kind who would help pick up his groceries if the bag split in the stairwell. It wasn't much, but it was there. As Sasuke made his way up to Naruto's apartment now, he nodded at a lady with green hair and a nose ring on the stairs, remembering that she lived in the apartment directly under his friend. His face twitched into a smile as she smiled back, albeit a little suspiciously.

“You lot aren't getting up to anything noisy again, are you?” Her eyes narrowed at Sasuke. “Because I'm not having a repeat of the damn water fight, take that shit _outside._ ”

Sasuke shook his head timidly. Somehow, this vividly coloured woman frightened him more than his ex-ANBU brother, which was startling considering that she was a civilian. “No... I just came to hang out...” He trailed off. “I'm going to try and convince him to do homework with me this afternoon.” They had finished all their homework on Saturday when Naruto came to dinner at the Uchiha residence, but she didn't know that. Hopefully she would just take his words at face value and assume that they were planning on quietly behaving all afternoon.

The woman nodded, and the smile came back to her face easily. “Okay.” She said brightly, turning back to the stairs to continue her journey downward. “Have fun.” She twirled her fingers at him, flicked her green hair over her shoulder and disappeared, leaving Sasuke free to continue on.

So yeah, Naruto's neighbours were all as strange as him, but they were surprisingly nice about it. Figures that Naruto would live in the _weird_ part of town.

Sasuke hammered his knuckles on the peeling paint of Naruto's door, shifting from foot to foot impatiently as he waited for his friend to open up. He was uninvited, but he figured that Naruto probably wouldn't mind a visitor. He was a little worried that Naruto might not be home, but he knew for a fact that the Hokage was busy all day, and Naruto rarely pestered Iruka-sensei on his days off. If Naruto wasn't with either of them, and he wasn't with Sasuke, he was most likely at his apartment. Sometimes he wandered around Konoha alone, which was annoying, but after his exclamation that he wasn't attending the festival Sasuke suspected that he would most likely be holed up in his apartment.

Sasuke knocked again, starting to feel a little ticked off that Naruto hadn't let him in yet. He gave it a few more moments, then promptly lost his temper like any self-respecting Uchiha.

“Oi! Moron! It's me! Let me in!” Sasuke scowled at the wood of the door, wishing that he could make it burst into flames just by glaring at it hard enough. Now that would be a cool jutsu to have...

“Sasuke!?” The door swung open to reveal a shoddily dressed and rapidly blinking Naruto.

“You totally just woke up, didn't you?” Sasuke sighed, raising an eyebrow at the black track pants and crumpled orange T-shirt that Naruto was wearing.

“Uh...” Naruto scratched the back of his head, grinning sheepishly at Sasuke. “...Maybe?”

“Ugh.” Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Typical. Just let me in already.”

Naruto didn't hesitate, he opened up the door wider and disappeared back into the depths of his apartment, trusting Sasuke to follow. It wasn't a moment later that Sasuke kicked his sandals off in Naruto's tiny entranceway and shut the door behind him, then walked into the next room after his friend.

Naruto was in the kitchen, fishing mugs out of one of his cupboards, kneeling precariously on the bench top. The first time that Sasuke saw Naruto interact with his kitchen when he had visited nearly a month ago, he'd nearly had a heart attack. Naruto had never really been taught about things like kitchen safety, and he tended to use every flat surface in the room as a springboard for movement. Of course, the kitchen was adult sized and Naruto was still only a child; in order to get into most of the cupboards he had to get inventive with jumping and balancing on things. Nevertheless, his dangerous antics in the kitchen only served to further cement Sasuke's internal amazement that he hadn't killed himself yet.

Sasuke settled himself at the kitchen table, thoroughly used to Naruto's kitchen behaviour. There wasn't much use in saying anything to him; the other boy didn't see anything wrong with what he was doing, or why it might not be a good idea to stand on the same surfaces where he prepared food. So he just watched as Naruto juggled the mugs and jumped off the bench top, landing in a crouch in the middle of the kitchen floor. He slid the mugs onto the table and proceeded to burrow himself almost fully inside one of his bottom cupboards looking for his electric kettle. It didn't take him long to find the kettle, he always kept it in easy reach so that he could boil water for his instant ramen. He filled the kettle up with water and flicked it on, and grabbed the tea bags and sugar from their perch on one of the smaller shelves. He was about to delve back into one of the lower cupboards to look for his stash of cookies when Sasuke cleared his throat, catching the blonde's attention before he could dive in.

Sasuke held up a plastic bag and gingerly placed it in the centre of the table. “I brought the snacks today.” he told Naruto.

Naruto grinned wide at him. “Awesome!” he exclaimed. “What is it?” He poked at the plastic bag, trying to get at the square white box inside.

Sasuke shrugged and winced as the kettle started to squeal. “Why don't you take a look and find out?” He slid out of his chair and turned his back on Naruto to finish making the tea as the other boy excited opened up the box. It took him a while, the shop had outdone themselves wrapping everything up. Sasuke dropped a couple of spoonfuls of sugar into Naruto's mug and then turned back to the table, holding out the mug to his friend as he took a sip of his own drink.

Naruto didn't take the mug. He was too busy staring at the contents of the box, face frozen in shock. “Sasuke... what is this...?” Naruto didn't turn back to look at him as he said it, he kept his eyes fixed on the box in front of him.

Sasuke sighed and moved around Naruto to place the two mugs of tea on the table and slip back into the seat that he had vacated earlier. “What does it look like?” he snorted. “It's a cake.”

“...uh... why did you bring a cake...?” Naruto's voice shook a little, and Sasuke politely ignored that, taking a sip of his tea.

“Well... customarily cake is served at celebrations... most notably at birthday parties.” Sasuke said mildly. “I thought it might be appropriate.”

Naruto baulked, and his gaze finally lifted from the desert in front of him to fix Sasuke with a look of bewilderment. “but... why?”

Sasuke just raised an eyebrow. “It's the tenth of October... ring any bells? You haven't forgotten your own birthday, have you idiot?”

Naruto just blinked at him, confusion still rife in his expression. “But... how did you _know?_ ” he insisted. “I never told you!”

“The Academy has it on record.” Sasuke told him. “I asked Iruka-sensei.”

“Why would you do that?”

“For bragging rights: I wanted to know which of us was older. Turns out that you're younger than me. It would explain why you're so immature.”

Naruto scowled at him. “Oh yeah, how much older are you any way?” he sneered.

“I was born at the end of July, so I'm roughly two months older than you.” Sasuke said smugly. “So listen to your elder and just thank me for the damn cake already.”

His friend rolled his eyes, but now a grin was spreading across his face. “Thanks.” He said quietly. Sasuke was startled by the barely contained feelings that the word seemed to contain. He had picked up the cake almost on a whim, but Naruto was almost wonderstruck with the gesture.

“Sorry... I don't have any candles...” Sasuke mumbled, suddenly humbled by the situation.

“This is fine.” Naruto said brightly, lifting the cake out of the box and carefully placing it on the table between them.

“...and I'm not going to do that singing nonsense.” Sasuke said. “I refuse to sing you happy birthday.”

Naruto just laughed at him. “I think it would be weird if you did.” he said. “Hang on, let me find a knife...” He turned his back to rummage through one of his kitchen drawers. It didn't take him long to turn back to Sasuke.

“Naruto...”

“What?”

“Don't you have a proper kitchen knife?”

Naruto shrugged. “Yeah, but I couldn't find it.”

“Look harder. I'm not letting you murder the cake with that kunai.”

Naruto pouted. “Come on! It'll be fine!”

“No. Kitchen knife. Now.” Sasuke reached forward and snatched the kunai out of his friend's hands before Naruto went ahead and assaulted the cake with a combat blade anyway.

It took Naruto a while to find a knife that met Sasuke's standards, and when he did find it Sasuke took it off him again to cut the cake properly himself. Knowing Naruto, he would find a way to screw up the simple task of cutting up a cake. It would be less messy if he just did it for him. When he was done, he carefully slid a slice of the chocolate cake onto one of the plates that Naruto had found and handed it to his friend.

“Happy birthday.” He said.

If there were a couple of tears in Naruto's eyes as he thanked Sasuke again for the cake and took his first bite, Sasuke pointedly didn't notice. Instead he focussed on devouring his own slice of cake and drawing Naruto into a much happier topic of conversation: which was cooler, kunai or shuriken?

* * *

 

 

“Why didn't you go to the festival?”

The quiet voice startled Sasuke out of his intense concentration, and he looked up at the blonde boy perched on the window sill across the room. Naruto wasn't looking at him, or the board game lying on the floor in front of Sasuke. His fingers were entwined in the curtains covering the window, pulling them back slightly so that he could peer outside into the growing darkness. Dappled lights washed over the skin of Naruto's face; coloured lights spilling in from the lanterns decorating the streets below. Naruto looked... quiet. Distant. His eyes didn't move from the sight that only he could see out the window. Sasuke knew that it had to be the glimpses of festivities visible from his apartment that Naruto was staring at so wistfully. He was having one of his 'quiet moments'.

“I didn't want to.” Sasuke said calmly, wrenching his eyes away from his best friend to stare back down at the game. He rattled the dice in his hands half-heartedly and let them spill out onto the ground. Waiting for a reply from his friend, he moved his counter four squares along and scooted up a short ladder, passing the orange plastic piece that belonged to Naruto with his blue one.

“You wanted to go to the festival on Saturday.” Naruto pointed out. “Why didn't you go?”

“I lost interest.” Sasuke huffed. “What is this? An interrogation?”

Naruto let the curtain fall back, and the coloured lights disappeared from his face. “Sorry.” He muttered.

Sasuke just shrugged and jerked a thumb at the game lying before him. “Don't worry about it.” He said. “It's your turn.”

Naruto slid off the window sill and padded back across the hardwood floor of his living/bedroom to Sasuke and the game, scooping the dice off the ground as he settled crossed legged on the floor.

He hesitated, holding onto the dice tightly, as if he was afraid to throw them. “They all hate me.” He said suddenly.

Sasuke's eyes flicked up to meet the wide blue stare of his friend. “Why?” He wanted to know.

Naruto rolled the dice around in his hand, but still didn't throw them. “I dunno.” He said quietly. “I asked the old man once, but he said it was nothing to worry about: just ignore them and he'll tell me when I'm older.”

“So there _is_ something going on.” Sasuke sniffed. “Nii-san won't tell me anything either.”

Sasuke winced at the small squeal that erupted from Naruto's fist as he ground the two plastic cubes in his fist together with surprising force. “Your brother _knows?!_ ” Naruto's voice was raspy.

“He used to be in ANBU, you know.” Sasuke said. “So he knows a fair share of secrets by now.”

Somehow that knowledge didn't appease Naruto one bit. “It's not fair.” He hissed. “Why does everyone hate me? Why can't I go to the festival without getting chased off or attacked? Why does no one even care it's my... my...” He shut his mouth with a sharp click, and the dice dropped to the floor, forgotten. Naruto sagged like an old man weighed down by the ages. “What if they didn't die Sasuke?”

Sasuke's eyebrows instantly knitted together. “What if who didn't die?”

“My parents.” Naruto said. He was staring at the floor blankly. “What if they didn't die?”

“Well, yeah, things would probably be really different if your parents had lived.” Sasuke said slowly. “I mean, parents can be annoying, what with all the rules and nagging and stuff....” He trailed off, feeling more than a little awkward. Sure, he and Naruto were both orphans, but they were still fundamentally different. Sasuke still quite vividly remembered his parents. He knew that his mother was partial to cherries to the point that she could eat a whole box on her own. He knew that his Father had an annoying habit of tapping his leg while reading anything. His Dad had black eyes, but his mother had dark chocolate brown. There were a million tiny details that made up his memories of his parents. He didn't have to search in his memories for very long to find things about them, even if thinking of any of that stuff made his chest tight and every breath hurt. Naruto didn't have that. He didn't know whether the ramen addiction was just him latching on to the first food-seller that was interested in selling him a hot meal, or whether it was a genetic taste, passed down by a parent. He didn't know which parent gave him his blue eyes, or which gave him his blond hair. He had no idea what his mother's singing voice was like, or what his dad's favourite colour was. There was simply a blank space where his parents should be, and Sasuke couldn't even begin to grasp what that must be like.

“I didn't mean... that...” Naruto's voice was strangled. “I meant... what if... they're still alive... and they hate me too?”

“What are you saying?” Sasuke felt a little cold now.

“What if they didn't want me?” Naruto's voice was tiny. “What if they're just like everyone else? What if they hated me from the very moment they saw me... and just gave me away? The old man might've told me that they were dead to make me feel better about it, ya know?” A sob. “I wouldn't be surprised. What's two more people hating me?” His laugh was the opposite of jovial. It sounded like his breath was being wrenched out of lungs violently. “They must have hated me. That's why I'm alone.”

“I doubt your parents hated you Naruto.” Sasuke said evenly. He was politely ignoring the spots of water that were falling to the floor now, but part of him was numb with shock. Naruto had his serious moments, sure, but tears were something foreign. Naruto smiled. That's what he _did_. Sasuke had always suspected that if he looked up Naruto's name in the dictionary, the definition next to it would simply be a picture of that stupid wide grin... possibly next to a picture of ramen... possibly with a splash of vibrant orange thrown in there too. He never thought that he'd ever see Naruto _cry._

“How do you know?” Naruto sobbed. “I don't even know who they are... who I am...”

“Parents can't hate their children.” Sasuke said simply. “My parents weren't particularly nice people sometimes, and they did some bad stuff. Sometimes I thought that they didn't care about me. Sometimes I thought that my dad....” Sasuke cut himself off. “My parents loved me and Nii-san. It's hard to explain how I know that... but I just do.” Sasuke paused. “Your parents must have loved you Naruto. I don't see how they couldn't have.”

A series of loud sniffs was the only sound heard in the apartment for a long time. Sasuke kept his eyes fixed on the board, giving Naruto a moment of privacy to pull himself together again.

“Sasuke?”

“Hmmm?”

“Thanks.”

“Don't mention it.”

* * *

 

“I'd like to see the Hokage please.” Sasuke smiled as cutely as possible at the young woman sitting at front desk. He was making himself sick, simpering and sucking up to people like a small child, but it always got him what he wanted. Sasuke was aware of the fact that he was an adorable eight-year-old boy, far cuter than most of the other boys of his age. Usually he detested this fact and refused to let people baby him, giving him whatever he wanted on a silver platter. Today was different though. He needed all of the advantages he could get. Eight-year-olds couldn't usually just waltz into Hokage tower and ask for audiences with the Sandaime. Today was the day that Sasuke tested how just how far 'cute' could get him. “My name's Sasuke Uchiha.”

“Aw, what does a young man like you need to see the Hokage for?” The woman smiled a sickening lipstick stained smile at him. She was definitely a civilian. Putty in his eight-year-old hands.

“It's about my Nii-chan.” Sasuke laid on the baby charm thick. “He's a Jonin.”

The woman beamed at him and glanced down at the papers on her desk. “Is that so?” She said sweetly.

“Yup!”

_God. Please let this be over soon._

“Well, it looks like you're in luck Sasuke-kun. The Hokage is just looking through some paperwork this afternoon. Shall I pop in and see if he can see you?”

“That would be super nice of you Miss.” Sasuke dazzled her with a radiant grin, blinking wide eyes up at her. He was probably going to hell for this, but this was for an important cause. He had to grin and bear it (literally).

The woman looked about ready to pick him up and take him home with her. She smiled back at him fondly as she slid out from under her desk and walked across the room to the wide doors that marked the entrance to the Hokage's office. She nodded at the two chunin guarding the door, knocked a couple of times, then entered. Sasuke tried not to fidget in front of her desk as the two chunin looked him over with curiosity. He was so close. He wasn't about to get kicked out by a couple of upstart chunin. It would be humiliating.

“Sandaime-sama said that he would be happy to see you.”

Sasuke jumped. The woman had come back like a deflected kunai. There was no time to dodge, only swallow back the bile rising at the back of his throat and flash the woman another bright smile.

“Really? Thanks so much Miss!” He gushed, feeling like an idiot.

She smiled back at him and gestured towards the door to the Hokage's office, which had been left slightly ajar after her exit only a moment ago. “Just go right on through then.”

He bubbled his thanks to her again as he walked towards the door, face hurting from keeping such a stupid expression on his face for so long. How did that idiot stand smiling all the time? This was exhausting! It was a great relief to slip through the doors, shutting them gently behind him.

The Hokage was looking at him with a look of great amusement from behind the desk, hands clasped in front of him and eyebrows raised. Sasuke flushed and hastily bowed his head to the leader of the village.

“Uh... Good afternoon Hokage-sama.....”

“Discovering the advantages of the Uchiha charm, are we?” The Hokage asked flatly.

Sasuke's face burned. “Well... if it gets the job done...” He trailed off, not bothering to hide the annoyance in his voice.

“Indeed.” The Sandaime agreed. “You'd be surprised how effective your clansmen are when assigned seduction missions.”

Sasuke almost choked. “S...s...seduction...?” He spluttered.

The Hokage just laughed. “Don't worry.” He told the boy. “Seduction missions are strictly volunteer only. And it's mostly ANBU work at that. Nothing you'll have to worry about any time soon.”

Sasuke was well and truly scarlet faced now. This afternoon had just gone from mildly embarrassing to utterly humiliating. Why on earth had he thought this was a good idea? This old man could read him like an open book. With big print. And pictures.

“So what do you want from me, young Uchiha?” The Sandaime asked mildly, smiling at him reassuringly as he gestured for him to come closer. “Is there something wrong at the new Uchiha clan compound?”

Sasuke blinked, a little surprised that the Hokage was taking what seemed to be a personal interest in his now rather small (and unimpressive, considering that only one of them was an active ninja) clan. “Um... no. Everything's fine at home. Nii-san is very good at taking care of us.” He tacked on the last comment about his brother just in case. He had heard a lot of whispers around the village about his brother's supposed suitability for raising eighteen children on his own, considering that he was only fourteen himself.

“So if it's not about your clan...?” The Hokage reached for the pipe he had resting on the desk and tucked it into his mouth, eyeing him thoughtfully.

“It's about Naruto.” Sasuke said bluntly. There was no point in dancing around the issue. He wasn't really a gentle person anyway; tact was never his strong suit.

The Hokage's posture stiffened slightly, and Sasuke saw a new look of wariness in the old man's eyes. “What about him?”

“He's my friend.” Sasuke said, hoping he at least sounded as calm and confident, because his heartbeat was thudding in his chest too loudly for him to fool himself that was the case.

“I know.” The Hokage told him. “Naruto talks about you all the time. Thank you, by the way. I was worried about him.”

“Um.. don't mention it...” Sasuke trailed off. It was a lot more intimidating talking to this man than he thought. Naruto blabbered on about him all the time, and it sounded like his idiot friend just waltzed into the Hokage's office and had a good yarn with one of the most powerful and dangerous men in the world every other day like it was no big deal. Sasuke always knew that there was something seriously wrong with Naruto: he lacked survival instincts.

“You have questions about Naruto.” It wasn't a question, and the Hokage sounded tired. He suddenly looked very much the old man that he was, and a little of Sasuke's nervous energy floated away.

“Kind of.” Sasuke admitted. “More like a request.”

The Hokage blew out a mouth full of smoke and tilted his head, looking at Sasuke in interest. “And what's your request, Sasuke-kun?”

“Can you tell Naruto about his parents?” Sasuke said. “I don't need to know... if it's some big secret... but they're his parents. He should know who they are.”

“If I could, I would.” The Sandaime sighed. “It's complicated. It's just not safe for anyone to know Naruto's parentage right now.”

“Like I said. I don't need to know.” Sasuke huffed. “But Naruto _does._ ”

“Not even Naruto can know.” The Hokage's lips tightened. “The ice that we're treading is that thin.”

“Maybe so, but you have no right to keep Naruto's family from him.” Sasuke said stubbornly. “You're stealing something important from him.”

“I can't.” The Hokage said simply. “As it stands, Naruto's parentage is the highest kept S-ranked secret in the whole village. Only three people, including myself, are privy to that information.”

“Four isn't that much more than three.” Sasuke grit his teeth.

“Three is too many as it is.” The Sandaime told him. “Do you not think I haven't given this serious thought? I want nothing more than to tell Naruto the truth. But his life depends on this secret being kept for as long as possible. Please don't ask again, Sasuke-kun. My answer will be the same no matter how many times you ask.”

Sasuke tasted blood. He had bitten through the inside of his mouth in frustration. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to be able to walk in here and convince the Hokage to give Naruto the best birthday present in his entire life. Sasuke may have only been friends with Naruto for a couple of months, but he knew that Naruto wasn't the type that craved material things. It wasn't the cake that made Naruto tear up when Sasuke bought it for him on his birthday: it was the fact that Sasuke was celebrating his birthday with him. Naruto wasn't giddy with excitement about being invited over to the Uchiha household for dinner because Sasuke's family ate pretty well, he was delirious just to get the invitation. He was like a little kid that was only interested in the brightly coloured wrapping paper that his gifts came in, rather than the expensive toys within. Sasuke knew that he could buy Naruto a whole house full of expensive birthday gifts, but it would pale in comparison to the revelation that two names, a photograph, or an old keepsake could give the boy.

“I didn't know that Naruto actually had tear ducts, you know.” Sasuke said quietly.

The Hokage didn't say anything.

“He's just so damn... happy... all the time...” Sasuke tugged at one of his bangs, feeling a little embarrassed that he was actually stooping to guilt-tripping the Hokage. “He wasn't even crying about the fact that he's all alone. He's already used to that part.” Sasuke took a deep breath. “Naruto thinks that his parents didn't want him. That they didn't love him.”

Hiruzen Sarutobi's eyes widened as he stared at Sasuke. “He... said this... to you?”

“' _Everyone hates me from the moment they look at me. What if my parents did too?_ '” Sasuke shrugged. “It was something along those lines.”

The Hokage rubbed at his forehead with one hand, looking aged. “I see...”

“You don't have to tell him who they are, you know.” Sasuke said suddenly. “You can just tell him a little bit about them. Small things. Things that no one else would find interesting but Naruto would.”

“Like what?”

“I don't know... like favourite colours, hobbies... whether they liked ramen too... that kind of thing.” Sasuke sighed. “Anything you can tell him to prove to him that they actually exist, because at the moment all Naruto's got to go on is his own reflection in the mirror and an over-active imagination.”

The Hokage went very still as Sasuke stared him down. Part of him couldn't even believe he was doing something so daring as to try and tell the leader of the village what to do, but this was for Naruto. Somehow he found it easier to ask for something for his friend than to ask for something for himself. Maybe part of it was that Naruto himself was so undemanding (At least when it came to the big things... Naruto could be downright annoying in his whining sometimes.) and really needed him to do the asking for him in these situations. After watching Naruto over the course of the last couple of months Sasuke had come to the conclusion that Naruto was petrified of overstepping boundaries. People had spurned him for so long that he had trouble including himself in any group naturally. He just had no idea how to act. Sasuke knew that the reason that Naruto had never demanded more information about his own parents was that he was even still unsure about his relationship with the Hokage, ultimately the longest and closest relationship that he has had in his entire life. He was terrified that if he threw a tantrum to get more information, the Hokage would abandon him too, just like everyone else.

No. Naruto couldn't ask. Sasuke had to do it for him.

“You raise a valid point, Sasuke-kun.” The Sandaime said quietly. “I'll see what I can do.”

Sasuke's heart was still thudding in his chest as he bowed low to the Hokage. “I suppose that's the best that I can ask for, Hokage-sama.” He replied.

He had done his bit. It was out of his hands. Either the Hokage would act on his advice or he wouldn't. Either way, Sasuke had done his best to fight for Naruto's right to know. He wasn't going to tell Naruto that he dared to do this. In fact, he would prefer for the other boy to never find out. As the Hokage waved his hand at Sasuke in dismissial, Sasuke decided that he was going to keep this whole fiasco a deep secret. Naruto would just get all mushy if he found out, and Sasuke didn't do mushy. The last thing that he needed was Naruto being disgustingly _grateful_ or something.

Gross.


	6. Chapter 6

 Sasuke was more than a little worried when Naruto didn't show at school the next day. Recently Naruto had been very good about turning up to school on time. He used to skip all the time, sneaking out of class every five minutes but now that Sasuke was there to pester him, he could usually be counted on to at least remain glued to his seat for the duration of a lesson. Whether he actually learned anything in said lesson was up for debate, Sasuke had certainly had to poke him awake a couple of times, but all in all Naruto's school attendance had dramatically improved over the course of the last couple of months.

So what was he doing skipping school?

Sasuke decided he was going to be very pissed off if Naruto just didn't feel like getting out of bed this morning, and he kicked a trash can as he rounded the corner of Naruto's street, temper a little bit frayed. He stomped down the road and up the stairs to Naruto's apartment, growing more irate by the second. How dare he skip school without telling him? He had been forced to partner up with Ino of all people today in tactics class. She had practically drooled all over him like he was a piece of exotic candy, not an actual person. Never had he been more relieved in his life to hear the school bell ring.

“Oi! Open up-” His fist almost connected with Naruto's face as the boy wrenched open the door before Sasuke had even finished knocking. Sasuke seriously considered not holding back and hitting him anyway, considering how he abandoned him today, but he refrained in the nick of time.

“Sasuke! You're not going to believe this!” Naruto yanked him into the apartment and dragged him down the hall, practically bursting with energy. “Today I got called to the old man's office and-”

“You ditched me.” Sasuke interrupted. “You ditched me and left me to the wolves. I thought you had my back Naruto!”

Naruto's face twisted with horror. “What happened?!” He squawked. “I'm so sorry! Did someone try to beat you up?”

“No, worse: girls.” Sasuke told him sullenly.

Naruto shivered appreciatively. “Man... I'm sorry....”

“You should be.”

Naruto babbled apologies as Sasuke settled himself at the kitchen table, scowling at his friend. He had been planning on sulking for most of the afternoon to wind up Naruto, but then his gaze was caught by a small pile of what looked like junk on Naruto's table. He wouldn't have given it any thought, but all four items were laid out neatly and lovingly, as if they were precious, even though they were such commonplace items.

A green striped scarf. A rather battered stuffed cat toy. A small framed water colour painting of a seaside town. A slightly chipped yellow cup.

Sasuke reached out as if he was going to touch the cup, then stopped, hand hovering in the air. For some reason he felt like he shouldn't touch these things without asking first.

“Naruto, what's all this?” He gestured to the table.

The blonde gave him a blinding grin. “It's why I missed school!” He said. “The old man gave them to me!”

“How come?” Sasuke looked at the rather ragged collection of objects a little scathingly. None of them were exactly in the best of condition. Surely the Hokage wouldn't have gone dumpster diving for presents for Naruto? The man was not the richest man in Konoha, but he was the leader of the whole village as well as the head of the Sarutobi clan. The Hokage was by no means poor.

Naruto was practically bouncing in place as he caressed the matted ginger fur of the cat with a couple of careful fingertips. “He said they belonged to my parents!”

Sasuke froze in disbelief, staring at the items on the table. When he went to speak with the Hokage, he hadn't really expected anything much to come of it. Even if something did happen, he didn't expect it to happen right away. Turns out that the Hokage had listened to him more than Sasuke thought.

“Hn. Really?” Sasuke looked at the objects with renewed interest.

“Yup!”

“So the Hokage told you who your parents were?”

Naruto's face fell, eyes glazing over and shoulders sagging. “No...” He said dejectedly. “He said it was still a secret for now...” The disappointment in Naruto's voice was unmistakable, and Sasuke felt a little guilty for instantly bringing the mood of the room down with his insensitive question.

“He must have told you some stuff about them though, if he gave you these things.” Sasuke pressed, waving his hands at the items.

Naruto instantly perked up. “Yeah! He said that now that I'm nine, I deserve to know a little but more!” Naruto's chest swelled in pride. “My Mom and Dad were both ninja, did ya know?”

Sasuke's mouth twitched. It was somewhat obvious that Naruto's parents were ninja. It would be the only explanation for why the Hokage had taken such interest in an orphan boy. Not to mention that one could often find tiny differences between ninja bred children and children from civilian lines. Clan ninja came from bloodlines that had been selectively marrying for centuries in order to breed faster, stronger, more flexible children. It was just a sad fact of life that children with ninja parents were often more naturally inclined to excel at the shinobi arts. Even though Naruto's grades were often rock bottom, the very fact that he he had managed to stay in the ninja academy this long while causing so much trouble and sleeping through so many classes was due to his own natural talent. Every year up until they were ten the academy tried to root out the unsuitable candidates from each class. When Sasuke had started the Academy, there was four classes of eager six year olds ready to learn. Of the hundred students that started the Academy, only seventy five made it to the second year. Only fifty made it to the third year. Next year when they moved to the fourth year, there would only be one class of thirty left in the shinobi program. Even though Naruto had atrocious test scores, he wasn't really that bad. When he was called 'dead last', he was really being called the dead last of top streamed class. Naruto was still miles ahead of the kids that were probably going to be cut at the end of the year, most of them civilians.

Still, it was nice to have Naruto's shinobi heritage confirmed.

So Sasuke smiled and treated this information the way it should be received. “Cool.” He smiled. “Did the Hokage tell you anything else?”

For the next half hour or so Sasuke didn't have to say much. He just listened to Naruto excitedly recount everything the Hokage had told him in great detail. Apparently his mother had quite the temper and was treated very carefully by her peers because of it. She was famous for responding to any bullies with her fists, whether they were picking on her personally or not. She was also a fan of retribution in the form of mischief. The innate pranking talent that Naruto possessed seemed to come from her, if the Hokage was to be believed. Naruto sounded quite dreamy as he told Sasuke of the prank that his mother had pulled off while she was in the academy, dying the majority of the her class' hair bright blue using a complicated system of buckets holding vegetable dyes and ropes. Sasuke knew that this prank was probably going to be recreated sometime in the near future.

Naruto's father, on the other hand, was a somewhat more subdued character. He was the only one that could calm down Naruto's mother when she got a bee in her bonnet. Something like the voice of reason within their peers, he was good at distracting people from their worries and being an all round reassuring presence. However, apparently he was also frightfully stubborn as well, if the story about catching a lost cat for a D-ranked mission was true. Naruto's father and the rest of his team had been tasked with tracking down a runaway cat. The mission was a standing one, having been commissioned by the pet's owner almost six months prior. Belief was common that the cat was nowhere to be found, most likely dead, as sad as it was. There were lots of missing pet D-ranks like that. His father, however, believed that he could find this stupid cat, and wasted a whole week of his spare time combing through Konoha for clues even though his team had already tried, failed and passed on the mission to another genin team. It took Naruto's Dad almost a fortnight, but he finally found the cat and returned it to it's owner, much to his team's shock. His father was also a bit of an airhead at times, becoming so engrossed in a particular task that he forgot to eat or sleep. He had atrocious naming sense as well, and had been banned by Naruto's mother from picking baby names when she had found out she was pregnant. The couple had once owned a goldfish called 'His Highness Orange Bubbles of the Untamed Oceans', a name that made Sasuke wince in pity for the poor fish, but made Naruto cackle in laughter.

“Did the Hokage tell you about this stuff?” Sasuke gestured to the tabletop, curiosity winning out. These objects were probably special in some way. There must be at least a few stories that the Hokage told about them.

“This scarf was Mom's.” Naruto picked up the green striped scarf to proudly show it to Sasuke. “Apparently she knitted it for me!”

Sasuke's eyebrows shot up. “Really? But I thought she died before you were born?”

“She was enthusiastic.” Naruto explained. “She wanted to do the new mother thing of knitting things for her baby, but she had next to no patience and not a lot of skill in actually knitting stuff. The only thing that she knew how to knit was a scarf, since it's one of the most simple things you can make.”

Now Sasuke knew where Naruto got his inability to sit still from.

Naruto put down the scarf and gingerly picked up the painting, staring at the picture sombrely. “This was Mom's too... my Grandmother painted it for her.” Naruto's eyes were fixed on the scene in front of him.

“What's the painting of?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto shrugged. “The old man wouldn't say, I think he knew, but he didn't want to tell me. It's probably something that would give too much away about who she was.”

“Pity.” Sasuke moaned. He was tempted to suggest they start doing some research into the scene at the library or something, but he knew it was a bad idea. The Hokage was keeping all this secret for a reason, and Sasuke didn't want to stumble across anything that they shouldn't by being too nosy. “Is the stuffed animal your Mom's too?” He changed the subject, fixing his eyes upon the battered toy. He knew that his own mother had kept her favourite teddy bear from childhood. It lived on a shelf in his parent's bedroom dedicated to her sentimental keepsakes. His father had kept things from childhood too, but they were things like his first metal practice kunai, and the armband with the Uchiha clan mark that he'd worn as a genin.

“No, Mr Momo Fuzzles belonged to Dad....”

“Mr. - What?”

“Dad wasn't good at naming things, remember?” Naruto grinned as he picked up the cat to stroke it's matted fur.

“Your Dad kept his old teddy bear?”

“It's a cat.” Naruto pointed out stubbornly. “Mr. Momo Fuzzles.”

A grown shinobi who still hung onto a stuffed cat called Mr. Momo Fuzzles. Sasuke finally believed that this man who had thus far been explained as a rather calm and collected individual could actually be related to Naruto.

“How does the Hokage know what your Dad called his old toy cat anyway?” Sasuke asked curiously. If _he_ was a grown man hoarding stuffed animals, he would have kept it a deadly secret.

“Mom used to tease him about it.” Naruto said. “Something about keeping him humble.”

“Ah.” Sasuke smirked, and his attention drifted to the final item sitting on the table: the yellow cup. Naruto saw where he was looking and slowly relinquished his hold on Mr. Momo Fuzzles. He gently placed the cat back on the table and gingerly picked up the cup, running a thumb over the chip in it's rim with a sad look on his face.

“This belonged to Dad too.” Naruto said softly. “It was part of a set. There used to be a red one that belonged to Mom, but that was broken to pieces when the Kyuubi trashed Mom and Dad's house. They liked to drink tea. Mom hated coffee....” His voice trailed off as he traced a fingertip around and around the cup's rim.

Sasuke didn't quite know what to say to that. Now he knew why Naruto had been given so little of his parent's belongings, and why the few he did have looked rather beat up. Naruto's family home had been destroyed in the Fox attack nine years ago, so there probably hadn't been a lot that was salvageable, if there was even someone left able to scavenge in the ruins for stuff anyway. Naruto was just a baby when it happened, and he didn't have any other family. Who had picked through the wreckage, looking for keepsakes that Naruto may want later on in the future? Was it the Hokage? Or did he order someone to go through the destroyed house on his behalf? Knowing the attitude that most of the village had towards Naruto, Sasuke wondered whether the person that had recovered his parents' things for him had done as good a job as he should have.

“Ironic, isn't it?” Sasuke said instead, startling Naruto out of his thoughts.

Naruto frowned at him. “What's ironic?”

“Ironic means that–”

“I know what it means!” Naruto protested, “Why is it ironic?”

“Your Dad had a yellow cup. Your Mom had a red cup. One would expect that they chose those cups because yellow and red are their favourite colours.” Sasuke smiled. “Don't you think it's a little bit ironic that your favourite colour turned out to orange, even though you didn't know theirs?”

Naruto's mouth fell open in shock as his eyes flicked down towards the cup, dumbstruck. “Yellow... and red... make orange...” His voice was a little bit choked up.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Guess it's the fault of genetics that you insist on wearing the glaringly bright clothes then.” He sighed. “Typical.” He kissed his hope of getting Naruto to ditch the neon orange clothes goodbye.

Naruto plucked at his orange hoodie, a small smile spreading across his face as he contemplated the co-incidence that Sasuke had just pointed out to him. “Cool.” He muttered.

* * *

 

Sasuke was right. The hair dye prank reared it's ugly head mid-November. Luckily Sasuke managed to avoid a dye job. In fact, he maaaay have been guilty of actually helping Naruto set up said prank. It was good revenge against the girls who had been bothering him. They looked utterly miserable with their green locks for the remainder of the week, and that satisfied Sasuke immensely. Ino's hair turned out the brightest green, rather like a lime, while Sakura's pink hair had clashed rather splendidly with the the dye and turned a muddy shade of booger. Everyone else seemed to range between those two shades, all except him, Naruto, Shikamaru, Hinata and Shino. Shikamaru avoided the humiliation because he always knew _exactly_ what was going on in the classroom around him and when he should take a conveniently timed bathroom break. Hinata was able to avoid the dye because of her uncanny vision and Shino had been warned by his bugs. Kiba almost managed to avoid turning green when he smelled the dye at the last moment, but still got splashed, and now had some rather interesting green spots in his hair. Sasuke and Naruto, of course, managed to avoid the dye because they weren't so idiotic to set things up so that they pranked _themselves._

Iruka-sensei was not impressed once he managed to get the initial chaos under control.

“I want to ask 'WHO DID THIS?!', but I feel like it would be a useless question at this point.” Iruka sagged against the teacher's podium. “But in the interest of being fair and avoiding jumping to the obvious conclusion, I'm going to ask anyway.” He paused, looking around the room. “WHO DID THIS?!”

Naruto just broke out into laughter, falling out of his seat in glee. Sasuke shook his head. Naruto was a master of stealth when setting up pranks, but he had no idea how to make a clean getaway. He always took credit for every single one of his pranks.

Well. Sasuke felt like shaking things up today.

“Sorry Iruka-sensei.” He said quietly, raising his hand as Naruto just kept laughing like a maniac in the seat next to him. “It was me.”

Dead silence greeted his confession.

“No way! Sasuke-kun!” That screech was Ino's. Sasuke thought she sounded rather like someone was strangling a cat.

“Sasuke-kun wouldn't do something like that!” Another girl protested, much to Sasuke's amusement, considering that he had just personally admitted that he did. Denial much?

“I bet Naruto made him take the fall for his prank!” Yet another girl piped up.

“Sasuke-kun is just such a good friend that he'll take the fall for the Naruto-baka!” That was Sakura, and her screeching was even worse than Ino's. It made Sasuke wince and cover his ears for a fleeting moment.

Meanwhile, Naruto had sobered up and was now looking at Sasuke in horror as he realised that Sasuke was taking flak for the prank that he had set up and roped him into. Sasuke would have to reassure him later that he didn't really care about what the rest of the class thought of him, and he actually really enjoyed the prank. In fact, the rush of pranking the whole class had felt so good that Sasuke finally understood why Naruto was such a troublemaker. He wanted in on whatever Naruto plotted next as well.

“Um... no...” Sasuke corrected the girls trying to prove his innocence. “I really did do this.” He showed the class the palm of his hand, unfortunately dyed bright green from when he and Naruto were setting up the prank.

Naruto also held up his palms sheepishly, displaying his own green hands to the room. “I guess we're been caught... green-handed!” He broke into a fresh wave of laughter as Sasuke groaned at the dreadful joke.

Iruka just face palmed. “You two. Hallway. Now.”

* * *

 

One half hour lecture from Iruka-sensei later, Sasuke still didn't feel all that bad about what he did. It was only a weak vegetable dye; it would wash out. The class would have green hair for a couple of days, but it wasn't the end of the world. Iruka must have sensed their lack of remorse, because he dragged Naruto off to go complain to his guardian the Hokage, but not before giving Sasuke firm instructions to stay put in the hallway because his older brother was on his way.

Sasuke began to feel a tiny bit guilty when he heard that his brother was getting involved in this mess now too.

When Iruka came back, sans Naruto, he was leading his brother through the Academy. Iruka-sensei still looked annoyed, but Itachi's face was unreadable. Sasuke kept his own face carefully blank as Iruka explained the full consequences of their prank to his older brother, and what he wanted Itachi to do about it: namely to discipline his little brother and make sure it never happened again. Itachi thanked him for the explanation once he was done and calmly assured the man that he would be having a talk with Sasuke. Then he bowed politely to the teacher, dragging Sasuke's head down with him as he did so, and apologised on Sasuke's behalf. Seemingly satisfied with Itachi's sincerity, Iruka said goodbye and turned to leave. Since the school day had finished while Sasuke and Naruto were waiting out in the corridor for Iruka to come out and deal with them, Sasuke was now free to head home with his brother.

The walk home was very quiet.

“So...” Itachi began as they started to walk along the river, about halfway home. “Green hair dye huh...?”

Sasuke couldn't stop the grin spreading across his face. He was going to get into trouble again, but he didn't really care. “Worth it.” He said bluntly.

“The girls finally got to you, didn't they?” Itachi asked wryly.

Sasuke pulled a face. “Maybe.”

Itachi's blank face now cleared up, and Sasuke could now see a small smirk growing on his brother's face. “It was a good prank.” He admitted.

“Naruto's good at coming up with pranks.” Sasuke said. He wasn't really sure why his own chest was swelling with pride as he boasted of Naruto's strengths to his older brother, but the feeling wasn't unpleasant, so he just went with it.

“Are you going to do this again?” Itachi's voice took on that steely tone that Sasuke took to mean that he was now doing the disciplining that Iruka-sensei had requested of him.

Sasuke thought about lying for a minute. He also thought about backing down and meekly agreeing to never team up with Naruto in such a way again, and meaning it. Neither option sounded too much fun.

“Probably.” He admitted to his brother quietly.

“Good.” Itachi said firmly. “I'd much rather you had fun at the Academy than run yourself ragged trying to be the perfect little Uchiha every seems to expect.”Itachi grinned down at him. “I trust you won't go too crazy?”

Sasuke stared at him, mouth hanging open. He knew that his brother was more than a little _strange_ , but this was just....

“You're giving me permission to pull pranks on my classmates?” He asked suspiciously.

“Yes.”

“ _Why?_ ” Sasuke didn't get it. Itachi was supposed to be the one _in charge_. The _parent_. He was lord of bedtime and chores now, why was he giving him permission to put mix up all the dust jackets on the books in the library and balance buckets of water in convenient high places?

_Note to self: suggest to Naruto that we switch up all the dust jackets on the library books ASAP._ _That sounds fun!_

Itachi didn't say anything for a long moment. His eyes drifted past Sasuke to the sight of the river bathed in the orange light of the setting sun. The he gave Sasuke a small smile. “You and Naruto are really good friends, aren't you?” He asked suddenly.

Sasuke sighed. His brother had slipped into cryptic mode once again. Now he would be lucky to get anything of sense out of him at all. “Yeah... I guess...” He said slowly.

“I'm not Mother or Father Sasuke.” Itachi said simply. “I'm your big brother, and I never cared about your good behaviour at school or your grades. I don't plan to change just because I now have to be a surrogate parent too. Your happiness means more to me than upholding the dignity of the clan or anything that Father used to waffle on about.” Itachi paused, and his eyes sparkled at Sasuke in a look that looked a lot like mischief. “Stick with Naruto. Keep having fun.”

Sasuke looked at his brother in growing wonder. “So... if, say, Naruto was planning on wrapping every item of furniture in our classroom in old newspaper sometime in the next couple of weeks... you'd be cool with me sneaking out in the middle of the night to go and help him?”

“Just try not to wake me up. You know the twins always get me up far too early.” Itachi grinned down at him. “You know... next time I might be bribed into helping any would-be pranksters out a little.”

“Really?!”

Two fingers reached out and poked him playfully on the forehead. “Yes... maybe next time Sasuke....”

The rest of the walk home was not quiet at all, and was actually rather enjoyable.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this chapter I am completely up to date: I've uploaded all of the chapters that I have finished thus far. I don't really have a set schedule for updates, so expect sporadic chapter postings. I try not to leave large gaps between chapters if I can help it, but sometimes life gets in the way, if you know what I mean?
> 
> In other news, what do you think of the story so far? I love it when people tell me what they think, good or bad :)


	7. Chapter 7

While the newspaper prank did not take very long to plan, it did, however, take a very long time to prepare.

“It's going to take us ages to scavenge enough newspaper!” Sasuke moaned in disgust, throwing down that day's haul into the corner of Naruto's bedroom. There was a sizeable stack gathering there now, but nowhere near enough the amount that they needed to make sure that all of the classroom was adequately covered in the stuff. They had been rifling through bins for over two weeks. While it wasn't very hard to find a thrown away paper, it was hard to find any that were undamaged or not covered in the general muck that you'd find in a trashcan. They were lucky if they managed to get three or four a day, even when they added in Itachi's contribution. For some reason his brother had suddenly gotten in the habit of picking up the newspaper whenever he went to the corner store, which he inevitably had to do on almost a daily basis. Sasuke suspected that Itachi was having way too much fun enabling them on their pranks.

Naruto carefully stacked the newspapers he was carrying onto the pile, regarding it all thoughtfully. “It's going to get even harder to find usable papers now that it's started to snow too.” He said glumly.

Wasn't that the truth? The snow started falling last week, and it had arrived in Konoha earlier this year too. Usually snow only settled on the ground towards the middle of December and lasted through January, but this year it started falling in November and was settled by the start of the December. It was so cold that no one was doing much of anything outside right now, and even taijutsu practice at the Academy was cancelled. Matsu had told him that he overheard some adults calling it the coldest winter in a decade, and even _Itachi_ hadn't seen it so cold before.

Sasuke was still tossing up whether he felt jealous of the little kids or not. The snow was so thick that civilian schools were closed, only the ninja academy was still running. On one hand the little kids were free to do whatever they liked instead of studying (and since there was no taijutsu practice anymore, the Academy was _super_ boring right now), but on the other, they were cooped up in the house all day, bouncing off the walls.

“It's getting too cold to go looking for newspaper.” Sasuke agreed. “We'll have to put off the prank for a while.”

Naruto pouted, but he didn't argue, he didn't fancy dumpster diving in such icy conditions either.

“And you need to start wearing more clothes or something, I'm getting cold just looking at you.” Sasuke said irritably, narrowing his eyes at his friend.

“Why? I'm warm enough.” Naruto protested, picking at his orange hoodie.

Saskue sighed and wondered how to begin. Obviously no one had spent any time teaching Naruto how to dress properly, the sheer amount of eye blinding orange in his wardrobe was a testament to that. But his bad dressing habits didn't just stop at colour choice. No. Naruto also made bad decisions on how to dress appropriately for temperature. Sure he donned a heavy jacket when he went outside, but he only started wearing it when the snow settled on the ground, not when damn _ice_ crystals started falling from the sky. He didn't own a pair of gloves or mittens. He kept wearing open toed sandals to push through the snow on the ground (Maybe that wasn't so weird, lots of ninja wore sandals year round without any fuss, but most civilians and children adopted boots when the ground turned to slush, considering they couldn't walk on water). Worst of all, he kept wearing _shorts_ even though it grew so cold that Sasuke swore Naruto's bare legs were turning blue. Sasuke tried to get him to wear a scarf at least, he knew he had one since the Hokage had given him that green striped scarf his mother had knitted, but Naruto refused to wear it. He said it was too precious, and Sasuke had the feeling that Naruto was too busy worshipping the thing to actually consider wearing it.

Sasuke privately decided he was going to get Naruto a scarf for the Rinne festival. He suspected that Itachi was going to give him some boots. Between the Uchiha clan, they could probably manage to get Naruto wearing real people clothes by the conclusion of the holidays.

“What's wrong with my clothes? Eh? Sasuke??” The idiot was still blathering on. Sasuke just rolled his eyes and asked if they should call it a day and go get ramen. It was all too easy to distract Naruto sometimes.

And the ramen tasted pretty good too.

* * *

 

“I'll-be-at-Naruto's-byeeeee!”

“Hold it!” A hand reached out and grabbed his collar before he could dart out of the door and escape. Sasuke looked up to see an amused looking Itachi staring down at him. He couldn't help but notice that his older brother must have been playing with Eri again, because there was a purple ribbon tied in a very bad bow in his bangs.

“Nii-san?” Sasuke asked innocently.

“Don't Nii-san me.” Itachi scolded lightly. “You know the rules. Tell me properly where you are going and when you'll be back. It's hard enough to keep track of everyone in this house without people just running out the door without warning.”

Sasuke sighed. “I'm just going to Naruto's place.” He said honestly. “I'll be back before dinner, promise.”

Itachi nodded and let go of Sasuke's collar, allowing him to drop lightly to the ground. “Be back on time.” He ordered. “And bring Naruto with you. He needs at least one meal a week that isn't ramen, instant or otherwise.”

Sasuke saluted. “Yes, sir!” Then he was gone.

* * *

 

“Why are we playing this stupid game again?” Sasuke moaned, flicking one of the spare counters at Naruto. “Is this seriously the only game you have?”

Naruto dodged the green counter masterfully and shrugged. “Not all of us have entire rooms full of toys, Sasuke- _sama._ You don't like snakes and ladders? Bring one of _your_ board games next time. The Hokage gave this to me for the Rinne festival two years ago. _I_ like it.”

Sasuke dismissed the uncomfortable thought that the Hokage might have been the only person to play this game with Naruto prior to Sasuke, and started to seriously consider giving Naruto a pack of cards for the festival instead of that scarf.

“Fine. Next time I'll bring the Monopoly board over.” Sasuke told him.

“What's Monopoly?”

“A game you're probably going to lose badly at, but at least _I'll_ have fun.”

Naruto scowled at that, but let the budding argument go to roll the dice. As he moved his counter up, Sasuke snatched the dice, ready for his turn.

“If you don't want to play snakes and ladders, what do you want to play instead?” Naruto asked him as he watched Sasuke roll.

Sasuke moved his blue counter three squares and thought about Naruto's question. Naruto didn't have a whole lot of toys, and most of what he did have was geared towards solitary play. He had a couple of stuffed animals, the majority of which appeared to be frogs of varying colours, bizarrely enough. There was a very rumpled looking dog in the mix though, and Sasuke guessed that he probably had that toy the longest. He had his game of snakes and ladders, of course. He had a bag of marbles, which they tried to play with once until they realised that neither of them really knew what to do with them. He did have a set of wooden kunai and shuriken, but it was boring to play with those when they were using the real thing at school everyday.

“We could finish that worksheet that Iruka-sensei set.” Sasuke suggested.

“Nooo!” Naruto was such a baby when it came to any sort of academic work. Sasuke should have known better than to suggest they do homework.

Sasuke cracked a grin. “Well... we could make something up to play...” he drawled, trying to think of something that they could do with no toys, yet wasn't utterly stupid. They were far too old to play make-believe games like 'rescue the princess'.

“Like what?” Naruto asked. “We can't play ninja inside. Keiko-san will get mad again.” Keiko was Naruto's green haired neighbour occupying the flat underneath them. Sasuke definitely didn't want to get on her bad side again.

“Ninja is an outside game.” Sasuke agreed. Besides, the game had more rules than a standard make-believe game, and two people wasn't really enough to make the game fun. Ninja was best when there were teams of at least two or three.

“So that's it?” Naruto sounded put out. “We can't think of anything?”

“We could play one of those stupid games that the littler kids play.” Sasuke snorted, not really taking his own suggestion seriously. “Like: 'let's-pretend-the-floor-is-lava'... or something...”

“Lava?” A blank look was all he got out of Naruto. “Why would we pretend that?”

“Because lava is deadly and you can't stand on it.” God Naruto was stupid sometimes, imagine having to spell this out. He'd completely missed the point of the entire game.

“So.... the game is to pretend that we're being burned alive by lava?” Naruto's face screwed up. “That doesn't sound very fun.”

“No stupid. The goal of the game is to hop around on furniture and cushions and stuff to avoid touching the floor directly, or you die and lose the game.” Sasuke sniffed. “Seriously. Didn't you ever play it when you were little? Itachi and I used to hop around on the tearoom cushions back when he was at the Academy.” A twinge of pain shot through him at the thought of the tearoom back in his old house, but he ruthlessly squashed it down like a bug.

“Um... no... I think I saw some other kids doing something like that... back when I was at the orphanage...” Naruto trailed off, shaking his head. “Nobody liked me much though, so I never really played with them.”

Why is it that every time Sasuke came over to Naruto's apartment he seemed to learn yet another depressing thing about the other boy's childhood? How was Naruto so annoyingly cheerful with so much angst in his back-story? Sasuke always suspected that there was something seriously wrong with him.

Sasuke lurched to his feet, stubbornly kicked the board aside (“Hey!” Naruto yelled) and started throwing Naruto's threadbare cushions over the floor, making suitable islands in his living room.

“You have six seconds to get to safety before the floor spontaneously transforms into a melting pool of boiling rock for absolutely no discernible reason.” Sasuke told Naruto as he hopped up onto the boy's sofa.

“...boiling rock... _discernible?_ ” Naruto face furrowed in confusion.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Don't worry about it.” He really had to stop using Itachi's big words in front of Naruto. “Are you just going to stand there and let the lava get you?”

Naruto blinked at him for a few moments before yelping and lunging for the nearest cushion. He spluttered something unintelligible about how there was no way he was going to fall in the lava before Sasuke, even if he had to push him in.

Sasuke grinned and slipped into a makeshift fighting stance right there on the sofa. “Bring it!” He said fiercely.

Like hell he was going to lose at such a stupid game!

* * *

 

It was a typical night at the Uchiha household. Thus far Itachi had fielded thirty two questions from a variety of children. Six were homework questions, four were toddlers requesting stories, three were about when they could go outside and have that massive family snowball fight he had promised for at _least_ a week now (it had been two days). Another five were miscellaneous inquiries about misplaced objects (Itachi really didn't want to know how Sora had managed to lose another toothbrush, it was the third this month), another was a request to borrow a kunai (DENIED) and the remaining thirteen inquires were about what they were going to have for dinner tonight.

If only questions were all he had to deal with. He had to cook the dinner too, with some help from Haruna. Eri tried to help too, but then she tipped half a bottle of soy sauce all over herself and that was that. Thankfully Hikari whisked the girl away immediately and put her in the bath, so Itachi didn't have to worry about being the one who had to wash the inky liquid out of the girl's hair.

Because multitasking had now become his middle name, he was also helping Akane, Hideki and Miyoko with their Academy homework. They had their worksheets spread out all over the kitchen table, and every so often they would wave him over to check their answers. He also had to intervene and stop a three way fight breaking out in the middle of his kitchen when the group all got different answers to question seven. All three of them were sure they were right and the others were wrong. Once Itachi pried the three apart and took a closer look at the sheet he kindly informed them that all three of them were wrong, and the correct answer was six hundred and thirty seven. Not five hundred and twelve, eight hundred and forty six or (...sigh...) eight.

That wasn't the last fight he had to break up either. He had to make Takato apologise to a bawling Ichiro, because biting was _not_ an acceptable way of saying 'Please don't take my toy without asking first', and he had to put a hasty end to an entirely too enthusiastic mock wrestling match between Sora and Arata before they broke something (bone or material possession, either was equally likely). Itachi felt a little guilty for thinking so, but he was regretting asking Sasuke to bring Naruto over for dinner. He had entirely too many brawling children in his house right now, and Sasuke and Naruto seemed to like punching each other far too much.

At least most of the girls weren't fighting.... until Junko threw a plastic teapot at Yoshi in yet another temper tantrum. This time he let Haruna go break up the argument. She was much better at getting Junko to calm down than he was. Sometimes he just couldn't understand what made girls tick, _especially_ five-year-old girls.

Then Eri came back from her bath sniffing because the twins had made fun of her wet hair and no reassurances from Hikari had made any difference to her distress. Matsu quickly scooped up his hooligan little brothers to scold them about being mean to girls, but Itachi seriously doubted that it would make much difference. They seemed to find it funny to insult everyone within earshot recently; it was their new favourite game.

Finally, _finally_ dinner was on the table, and he even managed to get most of his family sitting down for the meal in under twenty minutes. Even the twins. All they were waiting on was Sasuke and Naruto's arrival.

For which they were late.

Itachi tugged at his red apron (glitter has still not washed out dammit) and frowned at the clock. After a further ten minutes of delaying the start of the meal he had to cave and let the other kids start without Sasuke and Naruto. Sasuke was going to get an earful when he got back, because he'd _told_ him over and over that it wasn't a good idea to be late. Everyone got edgy whenever someone was late, and there wasn't a whole lot Itachi could say to pacify their jitters. Hopefully no one would dissolve into panicked tears like Samuru had when Arata had lost track of time at the Academy two weeks ago and been late coming home from school.

There was also the feeling of unease that he himself couldn't squash down. He didn't like it when he didn't know for sure where Sasuke was. He liked it better when he could keep tabs on his little brother: just in case. He forced himself to smile and eat his own dinner, because he knew that acting strange would only make the situation worse.

Then the meal was over, and there was still no sign of Sasuke and his friend.

All sounds slowly tapered off as the kids all came to the conclusion that something was probably wrong, and suddenly they were all looking at him.

“Where Sas'ke?” Takato broke the silence with his fearful lisp.

_Shit._

“I'm sure he just lost track of time.” Itachi said woodenly, but his words weren't fooling anyone and his smile felt frozen on his face. When had he become such an awful liar? Hopefully he wouldn't be sent out on any infiltration missions in the near future, because he would probably get caught in an instant.

“Yeah.” Matsu laughed nervously. “Sasuke's been so forgetful lately, hasn't he? He really should be on time more.”

Everyone looked at Matsu, unconvinced. Sasuke wasn't that forgetful, and Itachi could count on one hand the amount of times he had been late arriving home since the massacre. Matsu was grasping at straws, trying to keep everyone calm, but no one was buying it.

Then Yoshi burst into noisy tears, and that was that. The dominoes fell.

It started with most of the occupants of the room starting to shake. Yoshi's tears were soon joined by the bawling of everyone else in the room under six, and Eri soon opened up her mouth to scream. Chizune dived under the table to curl into a ball, hyperventilating, as Sora tried to comfort her through his own nervous hiccups. Everyone older than that was slightly more composed, but it was hard to keep from succumbing to their own panic attacks with the little kids freaking out in front of them. Haruna grabbed both of her brothers into a tight hug, Samuru burying his face into her shirt to cry. Probably the most calm of the lot was Hikari, who was focussed on gathering up Eri, Ichiro and Yoshi to soothe them with hugs and whispered reassurances, and Matsu, who was busy trying to console the twins. 

Itachi had to admit that he wasn't feeling all that calm himself now. Sasuke was going to be in  _so much trouble_ when he got his hands on him. They hadn't had a mass breakdown in... uh... two weeks...

Okay, so the pitiful remnants of the great Uchiha clan were not the most stable bunch of kids you could ever meet.

Surveying the damage helplessly, Itachi did the only thing he could do. He bit his thumb and slammed his hand down on the ground, summoning a raven.

“Master?” A glossy black bird appeared in front of him, eyeing the chaos of the room with curiosity. Luckily Asahi was a regal, dignified bird who deigned not to ask why his summoner was stuck in a room of crying children.

“I want you to deliver a message to Sasuke.” Itachi said quickly. “He is currently at Uzumaki Naruto's apartment.”

Asahi bowed his head. “As you wish. What is the message?” Asahi knew exactly where the apartment of Konoha's resident jinchuriki was located. Itachi sometimes used his crows to help keep watch over the kid when he was part of his ANBU guard.

“Return home immediately. Mass panic attack is under way due to your tardiness.” Itachi told the raven swiftly.

“I will tell him Itachi-sama.” The bird took flight as Itachi pushed open the dining room window to let him out. Asahi rapidly disappeared into the night and Itachi turned back to his clan, trying not to sigh over the fact that most were weeping into the dining room carpet.

“I bet Father never had to deal with anything like this when _he_ was clan head.” Itachi muttered.

* * *

 

Hound was Not Happy.

He was starting to suspect that the threshold for being invited into ANBU had lowered in the last few years or something, because as far as screw ups went, this really took the goddamn cake.

“How long has he been missing?” He hissed Squirrel.

The man shrank back from his rage. “Unknown, Hound-taicho.'The Kit' was not in the apartment when our patrol first entered at 7:26pm. Upon finding the apartment trashed we sent out the village wide ANBU alert and attempted to follow the trail the intruders left behind. Efforts were thwarted near the village wall as the trail was lost. It is almost certain that the intruders are already outside outer village limits.”

“Are you telling me that someone sneaked into the village under the noses of your patrol, had a noisy fight trying to subdue the Kit, then carried the kid off... _without any of you noticing until it was too late to properly pursue them_?”

“Yes, Hound-taicho.” Squirrel quivered under his icy gaze and growing killing intent, but Hound had to admit the moron at least had the decency to own up to his own idiocy.

Hound growled and turned to Rabbit. “Inform the Hokage that the Kit is missing and that I am in pursuit.” he snapped. The woman cringed and disappeared. “You and your patrol will join the rest of ANBU in scouring this village for clues.” Hound barked at Squirrel. “Go. Now.”

The ANBU team disappeared in a flicker of movement, scurrying away from the captain's wrath as quickly as humanly possible. Hound paid them almost no attention at all, instead biting at his thumb to slam his hand on the ground. Instantly the ruined apartment was filled with dogs.

“Wow. What happened here?” Pakkun gasped, staring around at the ripped up furniture and hole-dotted walls. “Wait...” The dog had his nose in the air, sniffing in alarm. “...is this the kid's apartment?!”

“Naruto's been taken.” Hound told his dogs. “We're tracking him. How quickly can you pick up the trail?”

“Hold on.” Pakkun and the other dogs quickly got to work, sniffing around the apartment as Hound waited in tense silence.

They just caught onto the scent and were about to leave when a large black bird swooped in through the window.

“Oh.” The crow drawled, surveying the damage from his perch on the ruined sofa. “Itachi-sama will not be happy.”

“Why is Itachi sending his summons to Naruto?” Hound demanded of the bird. “Does he know something?”

The bird just blinked at him. “No. I was sent here by Itachi-sama to instruct Sasuke-kun to hurry home. His lateness is causing quite a stir.”

Hound felt all the blood in his body turn to ice. “Itachi sent you here to find Sasuke?”

“That is correct. Itachi-sama seemed certain that I would find him with his friend.”

“Fuck.”

There was really nothing else to say to that. Itachi had all but confirmed that his little brother was not where he was supposed to be, and in fact had probably been in this apartment when it was ransacked. The village wasn't just missing it's jinchuriki. Sasuke Uchiha had been snatched as well.

Hound turned to Urushi. “Inform the Hokage of this development.” He ordered crisply. “This is now a case of multiple kidnapping. Both Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki are missing. Catch up with me after reporting to the Hokage, we can't afford to wait for you to rejoin us.”

His summon nodded to his orders and bounded off to find the Hokage. Hound turned back to Itachi's crow. “Inform Itachi that we have a red alert ANBU warning in place. The Kit's apartment shows signs of a fight, and we are currently working on the assumption that he has been kidnapped by enemy-nin of unknown affiliation. There is no trace of his little brother, and we are now going to work under the assumption that he has been taken too. For further details he is to go directly to the Hokage, as I am commencing an immediate pursuit. Got that?”

The crow nodded. “I shall relay your message immediately Hound-sama.” The bird took flight, and Hound was alone with his ninken pack once again.

“Let's go hunting!” Hound growled.

The dogs howled in reply.

* * *

 

Sasuke had to admit that things... were not exactly going very well for them.

It was just after six that he and Naruto finally stopped fooling around pretending the floor was made of lava and started to clean up the mess that they had made. They mourned the death of one of Naruto's kitchen chairs, but it wasn't so much of a loss. There were still two chairs and Naruto never had more than one guest at a time. Sasuke relayed Itachi's dinner invitation at that point, and Naruto perked up right away, forgetting to continue his sulk about losing the game. They were just about getting ready to go when some bastard dressed in black combat gear slipped in through the window and tried to grab Naruto. Sasuke didn't think the ninja expected Naruto to have company, because he seemed surprised to high hell when Sasuke smashed him over the head with one of Naruto's lamps and then tried to kick him in the balls. Between the two of them, they actually managed to do a pretty good job of fending off the mysterious attacker; though Naruto's apartment unfortunately didn't come out of the whole ordeal very well. After a few minutes of struggle though, another ninja came in through the window and promptly put an end to their bar-brawl-like fight. He knocked out Naruto with a swift chop to the back of his head and turned his eye on Sasuke.

Sasuke couldn't help it, panic crept up on him the minute he saw his friend crumple to the floor, and his eyes blipped red. He only heard a few snatches of their hurried conversation, but he definitely heard 'Uchiha', 'valuable' and 'price' before they seemed to come to some sort of conclusion. Then, before he could even begin to fight back with his now active sharingan, one of the ninja darted forward and kneed him sharply in the gut, making him gasp and heave in shock. The next thing he felt was a sudden sharp pressure at the back of his head, and he was out cold.

Itachi was going to be so pissed off at him. There was no way he was going to back it back on time for dinner now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I lost my inspiration for this fic for a while there, but it came back in full force, and I finally got this chapter written! I'm sorry for the bit of a cliffhanger I left you guys on, but I've been planning this kidnapping for quite a while, and I want to really do the next chapter well, so that's something to look forward to, right?


	8. Chapter 8

No.

Itachi's mind had gone completely and utterly blank apart from that one word.

Asahi's report was exactly the last thing he needed to hear right now. He had finally sorted out his small clansmen, calming the panic attacks and sending the little kids up to bed to sleep off their jitters. He was alone in the kitchen, doing the dishes by himself, when his crow came back to report.

They now needed to replace their dinner set.

Haruna came in at the sound of dishes breaking and immediately knew that something very serious was up. Itachi braced himself for her freak out, but she managed to hold herself together.

“Sasuke's in trouble, isn't he?” She asked flatly.

“Yes.”

“Go.” Haruna told him. “I'll distract the others for a while.”

Itachi let out a shuddering sigh of relief, gave Haruna a swift squeeze of a hug and darted out of the kitchen door and into the night. It would only take him a few minutes to sprint to Hokage tower. Hopefully more concrete answers about what the hell was going on would be waiting for him there.

* * *

 

“Kakashi...” Pakkun's voice was low. “There's nothing we can do...”

“No!” Hound's voice was a snarl of desperation. “We keep going! We'll pick up the scent again eventually.”

The ninkin all exchanged looks, and Bull nudged Pakkun to speak up again. “Boss. The trail is gone. It's a miracle we managed to get anything through all this snow.” He paused. “We're just going around in circles now.”

“We can keep going longer.” Hound said stubbornly, pushing his mask to the side so that he could smell the scents in the clearing they had stopped in clearer. All he could smell was frozen water.

“We can, but...” Pakkun trailed off. “There's no point. We've lost them.”

“No we haven't! Not yet!”

“Boss. We can waste time here chasing our tails, or we can go back to the village so you can regroup with your ANBU pack and decide what to do next.” Pakkun's voice was sharp. “Which do you think will actually get Naruto back faster?”

“ARGH!” Hound howled in frustration.

He had failed.

* * *

 

Itachi had arrived at the tower to find that he knew about as much as anyone, much to his frustration. The Hokage was just in the middle of issuing the general red alert on top of the ANBU one when Itachi jumped through his window, breathless and the least composed he had been since the night he had to sit through the screams of his relatives being butchered above him. Hound's report on Sasuke's disappearance must have reached him before his arrival, because the Hokage did not seem surprised to see him at all.

“Itachi-kun.” He inclined his head towards him. “I'm afraid we have very little to tell you.”

“Let me help.” The words spilled from his lips, half plea, half demand. “Let me join the pursuit.”

The Hokage shook his head. “You're not thinking straight Itachi-kun.” He said. “What of the rest of your clan? Surely you don't think it's a good idea to leave them alone for any significant stretch of time right now?”

Itachi faltered, thinking of the crying children in his dining room earlier that evening, brought to the edge of panic just because Sasuke had merely been  _late_ , not yet confirmed as missing. As much as he hated it, the Hokage was right. He couldn't abandon them.

“I... I have to do something.” He insisted, “It's... it's _Sasuke..._ I... I can't...”

“Hound is tracking them.” The old man told him. “Surely you have faith in your old captain? The man has as much on the line as you do to find them. He'll get them back.”

“I know... it's just...” Itachi ran a hand through his hair. Was he having some sort of breakdown? He thought he was an expert on panic attacks now, considering what he had to weather each and every day, but he hadn't really experienced one of his own before. Now Sasuke was gone, his chest was tight, he couldn't stop trembling and he was having trouble stringing words together. He knew what he _had_ to do. He had to stay with the rest of the kids and trust his old ANBU comrades to do their jobs. 

He also knew what he desperately  _wanted_ to do, what he  _needed_ to do, was to drop everything and run after his little brother. He needed to find Sasuke, take him back from the morons that took him and put him in a very safe place where no one else could touch him. Then he was going to string up Sasuke's kidnappers by the ankles with some very sharp, very tight ninja wire and use them for piñatas... using his katana as the stick. Once he got tired of that he'd probably do the standard revenge gutting, breaking of every single bone in their bodies and/or setting them on fire. 

And Itachi thought he leaned towards pacifism. Turns out that only works out for him when Sasuke wasn't being threatened.... hmmm....

_Guess I'm a little more Uchiha than I thought..._

“Itachi-kun. I will send word. Go home.” The Hokage looked at him sternly. “I know what this means to you. Rest assured, I will find your brother and bring him home. Failing that I will have the ones responsible dragged to your feet for you to take care of.”

Itachi took a shuddering breath and squashed the lid on his turbulent emotions once again. He bowed his head to his Hokage. “I would appreciate if you could keep me updated, Sandaime-sama.” Then, before he could break down and actually start _begging_ for permission to leave the village and hunt down the bastards that snatched his closest living family, he turned and jumped straight back out the window again, heading for home.

* * *

 

Hound made it back to the Hokage as dawn broke over the horizon. A whole night spent tracking, with next to nothing to show for it. The only thing he could bring back was confirmation that Naruto and Sasuke had been taken out of the village, making the case officially a kidnapping. Hound knew the boy's scents, and he had picked up traces of them outside the walls. It was as close to confirmation as they were going to get anyway.

He couldn't look the Hokage in the face as he reported, his failure felt too great, too  _personal_ . Was his curse of enforced solitude already applying to Naruto? If so, it was hardly a fair trade. He hardly got any time with the kid at all. Nine years of pretending not to care, of silently watching over the boy when things got turbulent, of avoiding the kid so that he had a decent chance of making it to puberty without his father's enemies hunting him down. If Naruto was gone for good, what had he ever managed to give him in his short life thus far? Six attempted murders he had personally thwarted and a stuffed toy tucked into his cot at the orphanage. Not very much at all.

“Hound.” Sarutobi's voice was sharp. “This isn't failure. Just a setback. We will get them back.”

“Yes, Hokage-sama.” Hound's own voice was wooden.

“The sensor division may have some information about how the intruders got in for you now, and Intelligence has already gone over Naruto's apartment with a fine toothed comb. Start investigating what leads we have. You will have no other missions until Naruto and Sasuke are home.”

“Yes, Hokage-sama.”

“Dismissed.”

* * *

 

He couldn't hide the truth from the kids any longer than three days. There was never hiding anything from the older children; they were too smart to buy his 'sleepover at Naruto's' bullshit that he tried to feed them. Haruna and Matsu knew from the first night, of course. They were the ones that distracted everyone while Itachi made his mad dash to the Hokage's office. By the next morning, Arata, Hikari, Hideki, Miyoko and Akane figured out that something was wrong too. They bore the news that Sasuke was missing about as well as could be expected, but agreed to keep silent so the little kids wouldn't panic. The weakest link was Miyoko, who shut herself up in her room for most of the day so that no one would see her cry.

Three days was the longest they could continue the lie though. Eventually it came out. Sasuke was missing, and they had no idea who had taken him and where they had gone. Luckily no one seemed to notice the fact that Naruto-nii (really, when had they adopted Naruto so thoroughly? Itachi quickly counted on his fingers... damn it, the kid was over for dinner three or four nights a week now...) wasn't around either. Nevertheless, there were some significant breakdowns that Itachi had to deal with when the truth came out. Eri screamed non-stop for three hours in the hopes that would summon Sasuke to her. The Twins actually worked themselves into a fever crying. Chizue hid under her bed for two days, Itachi couldn't even get her to come out to eat. Everyone had nightmares. 

Everyone asked the same question non-stop:  _Why haven't they found Sasuke yet?_

Itachi wished he had an answer to that question.

 

* * *

 

Sasuke wondered if anyone had noticed they were missing yet. Probably, considering that he hadn't shown up for dinner and Itachi was trigger happy when it came to worrying about his family. He wasn't sure exactly how much time had passed since they were snatched by the stupid ninja (Any ninja that crossed Itachi were stupid in Sasuke's mind, and surely his brother was definitely mad by now) that had come through Naruto's window, but he was sure it had to be more than a few hours. It might have even been as much as a day, because he and Naruto were now trussed up with ropes and lying in a rather barren, dimly lit room. Sasuke wondered if they were even still in the village.

Sasuke tested the ropes tying his wrists together, frowning slightly. Either these ninja were terrible at kidnapping, or they didn't think much of him and Naruto. Sasuke knew how to escape rope bonds, even if he wasn't very fast at wriggling his way out of them yet. Hopefully Naruto would wake up soon, because this was actually one area of expertise that Naruto was actually better in. Naruto was a wriggly eel of an escape artist. The only one that could ever hope to contain him was Iruka-sensei, and Sasuke knew that that probably wasn't because Iruka was good at tying people up, but rather because Naruto liked him well enough not to try too hard to slip away from him.

_Hmmm..._ Sasuke thought.  _I wonder if we're going to end up missing school tomorrow?_ Or today. He wasn't really sure how much time had passed, like he had noted earlier.

“Urgh....” Naruto stirred awake, groaning loudly.

“Naruto!” Sasuke hissed at him, wriggling a little closer to his friend.

“Sasuke? Wha... what happened?” Naruto blinked groggily at him, slowly taking in the ropes and dim light of the empty room they were lying in. “...wow...”

“We got kidnapped.” Sasuke said dryly, feeling like Captain Obvious.

“Uh... okay...” Naruto nodded, carefully storing that information away in his head. “... why?”

Sasuke shrugged. “ _I_ got kidnapped because I'm an Uchiha, and they want my bloodline.” Sasuke told him. “You... I have no idea why they took you.”

Naruto huffed a sigh. “I'm nothing special.” he said bitterly. “Or did they take me because I was with you?”

Sasuke shook his head. “I was a target of opportunity.” He replied. “They only took me because I was there. They definitely planned to snatch you: they broke into your apartment deliberately.”

“Huh.” Naruto said. “Maybe I've got a super cool bloodline that I didn't know about?” He suggested. “Or my parents were such awesome ninja that they wanted to steal their kid for themselves!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes at the suggestion that Naruto may have a secret bloodline. All of the families with bloodlines were pretty much common knowledge in Konoha, and Naruto couldn't have looked anything less like  _any_ of them. The only two bloodlines in Konoha worth risking a kidnapping to gain were the sharingan and the byakugan. Naruto had unmistakably blue eyes, and his blonde hair and sunny smile were about as close to an anti-thesis of the Hyuuga clan as you could get. Sasuke was also pretty sure he would have noticed by now if Naruto belonged to the Uchiha clan, you know, on account of it being  _his own family._

The idea that this could be about Naruto's mysterious parents was not without merit though. It was probably the most likely explanation that they had right now.

“Or maybe you're an international object of interest that we were commissioned to steal by a certain kage from another village.” A cool voice interrupted their conversation, and the two boys stared up at the tall man dressed in black standing above them, a small bowl in his hands.

“Wha... what are you talking about...?” Naruto stuttered, trying not to show how much the sudden appearance of the ninja had shaken him. Sasuke knew how he felt. He very much wanted to be cool and crass in this situation, throwing easy insults at their captors, but mostly he just felt scared. It was easy to pretend this was just mildly annoying when it was only Naruto in the room with him. Now the threat to their lives felt very, very real.

_Nii-san..._ It took all of Sasuke's self control not to whimper, and he had to squash back a rising wave of panic. He couldn't freak out here! This wasn't home, where his brother would rub his back and help him ride out that panic attack with ease. This was an unknown room in an unknown location where he was being held by unknown nin.

The ninja just laughed at Naruto's question. “God, I thought the intelligence was screwing with us, but it really was the truth: you're utterly clueless!”

“Don't call me clueless!” Naruto hissed, the ninja hitting his trigger for people calling him stupid. Naruto always bit back when people made fun of him or insinuated he was dumb.

“Kid, you don't even know you're a jinchuriki... I'd say that's pretty clueless.” The ninja snorted, crouching down by Naruto's head and helping him to sit up. “I'm in here to make sure you guys don't die of dehydration or something before we meet our contact, so drink up.” He shoved the bowl at Naruto's face, and Sasuke heard a couple of frantic gulping sounds as Naruto was practically forced to drink the contents of the bowl.

Naruto fell back with a thud, looking slightly light headed, as soon as the man took the bowl away. The ninja then turned to Sasuke, propped him up as Sasuke glared at him, then forced the bowl on him too, tipping it until Sasuke was forced to either drink or drown in the bitter tasting water.

Sasuke choked a little as the man took the bowl away and let him fall back again. He hadn't said anything to his captor yet, and he was feeling more than a little pathetic, but he was in no condition to throw any words at the man's back as he turned to leave.

Naruto was though. “What the heck is a jinchuriki supposed to be, arsehole?!” He spat at the man.

For a minute Sasuke thought the man was going to ignore him, but he turned around to face them again with a chuckle. “Power of human sacrifice.” He said shortly. “You've got a demon sealed in your gut.”

Naruto immediately paled, and Sasuke's brain stopped working. A  _demon?_ What the hell was going on?

“How could I have a... a demon... inside me?” Naruto choked out.

The man shrugged. “Don't ask me, I'm not a fuinjutsu expert. All I know is that you're the vessel of the Nine Tailed Fox, and we were hired to kidnap you.”

“Nine Tailed Fox?!” Sasuke squeaked. Of course the first thing he managed to say to their tormentors was not something cool, witty or sarcastic, but a squeaky cry of surprise. Typical.

“You're wrong!” Naruto laughed in weak relief. “Everyone knows that the Yondaime killed the Nine Tailed Fox _years_ ago!”

The ninja just rolled his eyes. “Really? Is that the garbage they're feeding you kids in Konoha these days?” He shook his head. “Can't kill a tailed beast kid, they're masses of malevolent living chakra: it'd be like trying to murder a hurricane. Best you can do is seal it away.” He leered at Naruto. “Looks like your precious Yondaime wasn't as good a monster killer as you thought.”

Then he turned on his heel and left them alone in the gloom once again, minds reeling.

“It's not true... right Sasuke?” Naruto whispered finally. “Right?”

“...right...” Sasuke whispered back.

But he couldn't shake the unease.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a shorter chapter this time, but this felt like a good place to cut things off. Most of this chapter was from Itachi or Kakashi's POV, but we'll be back to mostly Sasuke in the next chapter. The Fox is out of the bag now, so to speak :) wonder how things will turn out...?  
> (Well, I know how things are going to turn out. Duh. This is my fic. But you guys don't, muhahaha!)


	9. Chapter 9

The only way that they could tell that time was passing was through the silvers of light through the boarded up window fading and brightening as day turned to night and back again. The cycle had happened twice now; meaning that they had been stuck in the room for at least two days. As time passed, Sasuke began to get just a little bit desperate. He and Naruto had quickly discovered that they would be able to wriggle out of the ropes quite easily, but the problem was they had no idea what to do after that. The best plan they had at the moment was to try and see if they could pry the window open and sneak out that way, but what if they had some sort of watcher outside? Should they risk it? Usually Naruto would be the one arguing that they should just take the risk, but he had been unusually quiet ever since the harsh revelation from their captor about the creature sealed inside him. Even though Naruto denied it being true, Sasuke could see that Naruto was perhaps the one most convinced by the story.

To be totally honest, Sasuke wasn't quite sure what to think of all that himself. On one hand, he had the story that they had been told in history class about the night of the Kyuubi attack, the story that all of them had been told for as long as they could remember: the story of the heroic Yondaime and his sacrifice that killed the Nine Tailed Demon Fox, saving the village from certain destruction. Everyone repeated that version of the story. That's what his parents told him about the Yondaime. It's what his brother told him about the Yondaime. Never had they given him any reason to doubt that story.

So why did _this_ version of the story make so much more sense to him? The source of it was so unreliable it was a joke: who actually believed anything that a foreign ninja currently holding you captive might say? Yet... the more Sasuke thought about it, the more he realised that things added up better when he believed his kidnapper. The way that the villagers treated Naruto was weird. They whispered about him behind his back, spreading rumours and grossly exaggerating stories about his stupidity and misbehaviour. People were hardly ever violent or overly hostile, but passive aggressive staring was all the rage. Snobbish shopkeepers that could afford to turn away paying customers without feeling the pinch threw Naruto from their stores. Those that desperately needed the patronage of any customers they could get gave him the barest grudging of service. No one seemed to want anything to do with him.

Why?

Was it true? Was the Kyuubi sealed inside Naruto? Was that why everyone treated him like he had some sort of contagious disease? It would make a lot of sense. The fox did a lot of damage when it attacked nine years–

Sasuke's eyes widened as he stared at Naruto.

“October Tenth....” He whispered.

Naruto turned to stare at him sharply, distracted from his fiddling with the ropes for now. “What?” He whispered, a little hoarse.

“October Tenth... it's your birthday...” Sasuke repeated numbly. Now he felt really stupid. The truth had been staring him in the face this whole time. Itachi had practically _told_ him that night that he slipped to Sasuke when Naruto's birthday was... everything made perfect sense.

“Yeah... I know...” Naruto's voice was quiet and calm, but Sasuke could see that panicky fear jump in his eyes. Naruto was probably coming to the same sickening conclusion that Sasuke had just come to moments ago.

There was no such thing as coincidence. Naruto was born on the day of the Fox attack, just over nine years ago. The whole village hated him, for reasons that no one ever seemed to be able to articulate. The Hokage paid special attention to Naruto's well being. Perhaps the most damning evidence was one brief lesson in chakra theory class where they skimmed over tailed beasts. Iruka-sensei only told them that the beasts were beings made up entirely of chakra, and left it at that. Chakra, as any beginning academy student could tell you, was a form of energy. It cannot be destroyed. Human chakra moves on to a different plane of existence when the body dies, then is reincarnated into a new body after a time. If a tailed beast was made up entirely of chakra, without the killable body that humans possessed, how could anyone seriously believe that it could be killed? Sasuke suspected that there was probably a way to inflict enough damage upon a tailed beast in order to get it's collective chakra to dissipate, effectively 'killing' it, but if it followed the rules of human chakra, then it would only reincarnate later and reform into exactly the same dangerous being. There was no way the Yondaime would be stupid enough to kill the nine tails in a suicide attack; not if there was any risk that the beast would only reincarnate and come back for revenge.

No. Sealing it away was a much better plan.

Fuinjutsu was not something Sasuke had any skill at, so he had no idea why the beast had to be sealed inside a human and not an inanimate object, but there had to be some reason. Surely the man that the whole village looked up to, that he and _Naruto_ had looked up to for most of their lives would not be so cruel as to seal something so evil away inside a human being when he didn't have to... Right?

Sealed inside a human being.

Sealed inside _Naruto_.

“Sasuke?” Naruto's voice cracked, and Sasuke looked up to see that Naruto's expression looked nothing like the face of the happy-go-lucky moron that he'd spent the past few months hanging out with. It was like the happy veneer of his everyday face had splintered and flaked away, leaving only fear and desperation in it's place.

It was not hard to imagine what exactly Naruto was feeling right now. Not with his face open like the pages of a book like that. He was frightened. Scared out of his wits at having to come to grips with this life altering news. Sasuke would never know what it's like to wake up one day and realise that he had an very unwelcome tenant in his gut that most people agreed was evil personified. But he did get what it was like to wake up one day and realise that things were not as happy or perfect as they were on the surface. He never thought the clan was perfect. But he never thought that they were traitors either. He was wrong.

Tears welled up in Naruto's eyes, even as the other boy tried desperately to blink them away. They reminded Sasuke of his own tears, under the covers at night when he woke up and Itachi was not occupying the bunk above him. They were tears of panic. That made sense, Sasuke would panic too if he found out that he had a demon sealed into him.

“Sasuke... I... I...” The words choked up inside Naruto, and Sasuke tried to focus on guessing what the other boy was trying to say.

Could he...?

Sasuke was still reading fear on his face, but the desperation threw him. Why was Naruto so desperate? What could he possibly be so afraid of in that way...?

Oh.

_I'm an idiot._ Sasuke thought.  _He thinks I'm going to be like the rest of the village._

“Naruto.” Sasuke said quickly. “I don't care.”

Naruto blinked more tears away, taken aback at his blunt answer. “...huh...?”

“I don't care.” Sasuke said quietly. “The Hokage wouldn't let you run around the village like a normal kid if you were dangerous. Nii-san wouldn't have let you near my little cousins if he thought you were dangerous either.” Sasuke nodded firmly. “If the Hokage and Nii-san both believe you're safe, it must be true.” Everyone else could go suck it, because the highest seal of approval in his mind (the only seal of approval needed, really) came from his older brother.

“But... what if... I mean... it's the Kyuubi, Sasuke...” Naruto spluttered. “And it's in _me_.” he took a deep shuddering breath. “No wonder people hate me. I'm _evil._ ”

Sasuke couldn't help it, he barked out a harsh laugh.

“Sasuke!” Naruto moaned. “I'm serious!”

“Naruto. I know you. You're obsessed with ramen. You want to be the Hokage. You can't do algebra to save your life, yet you refuse to cheat off me in tests even though we're training to be _ninja_. You like to prank people, but you're always careful to make sure that no one gets hurt or humiliated. You can actually put up with the twins being annoying without blowing your top, which is better than anyone other than Nii-san or Matsu-nii can do. You own seven different house plants, all of which are the happiest looking green things I've ever come across.” Sasuke took a deep breath. “You're my best friend. Now shut up about being evil, or I'm going to have to beat you up for implying that I have bad judgement in picking friends.”

Naruto's mouth was open in a round 'o' of astonishment. They just lay there, trussed up like turkeys on the hard floor of the room, staring each other down. Sasuke willed himself not to flush in embarrassment. That was most likely the most words he had ever strung together in one speech in his entire life. He'd probably used up his entire allotment of words for the week now. He was going to have to communicate in nothing but 'ah's, 'un's and 'hn's for _days_.

“But... even if... even if _I'm_ not... not... evil...” Naruto said miserably. “ _It_ is. And it's _in_ me! What if I screw up? What if it takes over? Maybe it's only a matter of time before I do go bad and hurt someone...” Naruto trailed off as Sasuke fixed him with his best 'are you stupid?' glare.

Maybe... maybe he should...? Naruto's greatest secret was out in the open. It seemed only fair that Sasuke help him out by revealing his own.

“I don't think anyone goes bad just by association.” Sasuke said quietly.

“Huh?”

“People don't go bad just because the people around them are bad.” Sasuke said firmly. “It's more complicated than that. I think... as long as you don't want to go bad... as long as you like who you are and don't see a reason to change... then you won't ever be in danger of going evil like the fox...” Sasuke trailed off with a shrug. “... or something like that.”

Naruto looked at him sceptically. “But-”

“Look. If a kid's parents turn evil, do you think the kid will turn out evil too?” Sasuke asked bluntly. His heart rate sped up, but he had an excellent poker face, so hopefully Naruto didn't pick up on that.

Naruto blinked. “Dunno.” He said thoughtfully. “People don't give kids much credit, yanno? If the parents raised him to think a certain way, then it would probably be unavoidable that he'd turn out like them. But I don't think parents are really enough of an influence to really make a kid evil... I mean... he'd have friends outside of his family to show him what's right and stuff, even if his parents weren't teaching him... and there's teachers at school...” Naruto rambled away, thinking Sasuke's question through. “So... no... I guess... A kid isn't evil just 'cause his parents are.” He looked at Sasuke suspiciously. “Are we still talking about the fox? Because I don't really think a demon living inside me is quite the same as having a parent, to be honest.”

“Do you think I'm a bad person, Naruto?” Sasuke's voice was barely a whisper.

Naruto's eyes widened to the point that they almost bugged out. “What?! No! Where did that come from?!”

“Because my parents were the worst.” His voice was tiny as he looked away from Naruto. “My parents were traitors. They were planning to turn on the village... before they died...”

Never before had silence felt so heavy to Sasuke.

“Why?” Sasuke looked up to see Naruto's blue eyes fixed on him, gazing at him with that piercing stare that Sasuke hardly ever saw, but was no less powerful or sincere each time he did get to see it.

One look from Naruto opened the floodgates. Everything he knew about the coup d'etat that the Uchiha clan was planning. How he found out it was because the clan felt trodden on by the village, blamed for the Kyuubi attack even when they were blameless. He told Naruto of how things got so bad that it looked like civil war was going to break out. He told Naruto of that night that Itachi tricked all eighteen of them into sneaking into the secret room under the shrine for the night. He kept talking, unable to stop, describing the feeling of terror and guilt as he heard those people die in the shrine above him. The feeling of utter helplessness when he realised that his parents were probably already dead, and he couldn't do anything about it. The feeling of confusion that came after Itachi properly explained everything to them. About the moments when Sasuke woke up in the middle of the night in tears over nightmares about his parents dying, even though he shouldn't mourn the death of traitors. That even though they were planning on destroying the village and starting a  _war_ over stupid clan pride, he still missed them, and that made him feel a bit like a traitor too.

Naruto was quiet as he listened to Sasuke lift everything off his chest, blurting out the biggest secret of his entire life. It was the shameful secret that every surviving Uchiha now had to bear. They were the children of traitors... and worst of all... they still loved those traitors.

Finally he was done, and the silence still felt heavy and uncomfortable.

“I think it would be weird if you didn't still love them... you know...” Naruto said at last.

_Wait..._

“Huh?”

“Well... they were your _parents_!” Naruto wriggled around in his bonds uncomfortably. “I don't really know, seeing as I never had any, but just because they did some bad things didn't mean they didn't love you.” He hesitated. “... and you'd kind of be inhuman if you could just get over people loving you like that.”

Sasuke just gaped at him. When did Naruto turn into such an emotion guru? Ten minutes ago he was having his own emotional crisis! One of these days he was going to get whiplash from Naruto and his abilities. One minute he was a blithering idiot, the next he was like a wise old sage doling out advice. Instead of saying all this out loud though, like Sasuke kind of wanted to, he just decided to let things go. They'd said enough.

“Thanks.” His smile was bitter, but the thanks was sincere. He wiped away a gathering tear by nudging his face onto his shoulder and took a moment to try and screw his head on straight.

“So....” He asked Naruto. “What's the plan for getting out of here?”

* * *

 

When most people think of a daring escape from captivity, they seem to think that it would happen at night. Sasuke thought that was stupid. Granted, night escapes did have their perks. It was easier to hide in the shadows, plus guards tended to be sleepy at night, thus making it easier to sneak past them. But when you compared those advantages to the multitude of advantages in daytime escapes, there really wasn't much of a contest.

They had already figured out from the sounds coming through the window during daylight hours that they were being kept in some sort of city somewhere. That meant that the streets had a good chance of being packed during the daytime. If they managed to get into the crowd, they would be able to disappear much easier than they would travelling through deserted night streets. Things would be open during the day. They could duck into shops to hide, or even go through stores and out the back to throw people off their tail. A daytime escape would mean that they could see their pursuers coming too, unlike at night when there was a good chance that the ninja chasing them could pop out of the shadows and grab them. Being all of nine years old, they were practically civilians in terms of this fight. Their best shot was keeping the ninja off balance. Speaking of, a night escape would be what their captors would  _expect_ , meaning that a daytime escape would take them by surprise and make them just that much slower to respond.

Yup. A daytime escape it was.

They timed it perfectly. They had no way of knowing if the ninja holding them captive were pulling shifts watching the outside of the building to make sure they didn't escape, but they did know exactly what time every day that they came into their little gloomy room to give them a drink of water and stuff a few mouthfuls of bread in their mouths. The plan was to wait until after they were fed and watered. Not only would it give them strength for running away, but if they were lucky it would mean that the ninja might not notice they were gone until they came to feed them again that night. Just after lunch time would be the best time for escape as well. Crowds on the streets would probably be at their peak at that time, making it easier for them to disappear.

It would work. It had to work. It was the only plan they had.

* * *

 

_Damn it. And it was working so well._ Sasuke thought bitterly. 

It had been laughably easy to wriggle out of their rope bonds. It had been stupidly easy to pry the boards away from the window and slip out onto the roof. There hadn't even been a guard watching for an escape attempt, which almost made Sasuke actually laugh out loud. It didn't take them long to dart across the rooftop and shimmy down a drainpipe to street level.

Then the shout went up from within the house and all hell broke loose.

Naruto and Sasuke didn't really have much of a choice but to leg it at that point. From the moment that they stepped out onto the roof, they realised that they were going to be kind of conspicuous in this crowd. For one, they were too young. The ninja's hide out was smack in the middle of some kind of red light district – not the kind of place that many nine-year-old boys frequented. For another, they stuck out because of their clothes. Sasuke was wearing the distinctive Uchiha collar as well as the gaudy clan crest on his back. Naruto was wearing bright orange with the Uzumaki spiral on the back. The only people in this crowd that wore colours that bright were the geisha and courtesans that beckoned from the doorways of shops. Then, perhaps less noticeably, there was the fact that both Naruto and Sasuke were wearing sandals; clear marks of coming from shinobi origins. It was hard to remember when you spent your time living in a hidden village that the things they took for granted as normal were actually a bit strange to the rest of the world. Footwear was just one of those things. Ninja wore sandals. Civilians (unless they lived in a hidden village and were along for the cultural ride) wore geta, boots or the like.

So their plan to just disappear into a lunchtime crowd was utterly ruined at this point, and it was all they could do just to keep ahead of the ninja that were now chasing them down the street. At least the sheer number of people between them slowed their pursuers enough that the two of them at least had a chance of getting away.

Sasuke had to growl as they pushed their own way through the throngs of people though. Didn't anyone know that they were running for their lives here? Even though he knew he was as fit as he could possibly be, he felt his breath start to quicken as the toll of pushing through the molasses that was the lunchtime crowd got to him. Naruto didn't look a whole lot better, even though Sasuke knew the idiot could run rings around him while he was gasping for air. It must be the stress of knowing that their lives were probably riding on this escape that was getting to him.

Naruto led the way, with Sasuke hot on his heels. Neither of them could actually see the shinobi chasing them, seeing as they were too short to see over the crowd, but they could hear the cries of anger and dismay as their captors pushed their way through the people behind them. The only reason they weren't eliciting such cries themselves was because the two of them were small enough to slip through gaps in the crowd that adults wouldn't be able to fit through. Sasuke was careful to stay within sight of Naruto; the last thing they needed now was to lose each other. It was lucky that Sasuke's chakra sensing skills were just good enough to keep tabs on Naruto and follow close behind.

Then, all of a sudden, the crowd thinned. Naruto barely hesitated to keep running, but he flicked a look of dismay back at Sasuke. Now that there were less people around, it would be easier for the ninja to chase them. They needed to find a way to disappear from view. Now.

Naruto took a sharp right into an alley. It was a smart move. Hopefully their pursuers weren't out of the thick of the crowd yet, and wouldn't see them make the turn. The two of them jumped over a stack of crates blocking their path, bouncing off the tight walls of the alley as a man smoking in a doorway stared. The two of them burst into the sunlight of another crowded street, and Naruto skidded to a halt, unsure about which way to go. Sasuke couldn't stop himself in time and pretty much smashed into his back.

“Keep going!” Sasuke cried frantically. He had no idea if they had ditched their captors, but they couldn't afford to wait around.

“Right!” Naruto dove right into the crowd, burrowing his way through the thick masses of people. Sasuke had to reach out and snatch the other boy's sleeve, knowing that if he didn't grab hold of him then he really would lose him this time.

They kept running and running until the crowd thinned out again. Sasuke's breath rattled around in his chest, and he allowed himself a small measure of hope that the worst was over and that they had successfully managed to disappear.

“There they are!”

Um... nope...

Naruto grabbed his hand and Sasuke was yanked forward into a sprint again as they followed the curve of the street, feet pounding against the cobblestones. To Sasuke's horror the shouts of their captors only grew louder, and the crowd around them was only growing thinner. If something wasn't done soon, they were going to be caught.

With one last desperate lunge, Naruto took a left, barrelling around the corner and pelting down the new street, dragging Sasuke behind him. Sasuke could barely think straight at this point. He could hardly breathe, blood was pounding in his ears and he felt more a little dizzy.

If he could speak, he probably would have told Naruto to ditch him and keep running on his own. Sasuke knew he was just above dead weight at this point. He wanted Naruto to get away if they both couldn't make it.

“Don't even think about it!” the strangled cry seemed to rip from Naruto's throat like the crack of a whip. Somehow, Naruto knew what he was thinking. Maybe the other boy had felt his hand slacken in his grip?

“Don't even think about it!” Naruto almost chanted the repetition to the sound of their footsteps. “We're gonna be fine. We're gonna make it. We're gonna get awa-”

**BANG!**

And Sasuke was lying flat on his back, thoroughly dazed and winded. The cobblestones of the street dug into his back, and he knew that come tomorrow his back would be one big bruise.

“-brats! Why don't you watch where you're-”

“-'cuse me? You were in the way you-”

“-and now all my winnings are everywhere! You brats better help pick-”

“-can't even read the mood! You're in our way so just-”

“-do you think you're going? You two owe me-”

Sasuke blinked away his shock and yanked himself upright. Naruto had already scrambled to his feet and was yelling at the purple faced woman that they had unfortunately run over in their desperate attempt to get away. The other boy's knee was skinned rather badly, but he didn't look that much worse off for their tumble. Carefully Sasuke lurched to his feet, frowning at the slips of paper that blew away as he removed his weight from pinning them down.

“There!”

Sasuke's blood ran cold, and he turned to stare in horror at the street behind them. Standing there were two ninja in plain clothes, one of them he recognised as the guy who gave them food and water. Both of them looked furious as they stormed forward.

“Great.” The purple faced woman said tartly. “Who the hell are you clowns?!”

“Shut up.” One of the ninja told her. “This has nothing to do with you.”

The woman narrowed her eyes at the two ninja in front of her and snorted. “Yeah, fine, okay.” She huffed. “I don't care what you guys are mixed up in. I just want compensation. These kids belong to you?” She waved a hand at Sasuke and Naruto, glaring at the ninja.

“Yes.” The ninja who fed them said quickly.

“No!” Sasuke interjected desperately. The woman's sharp brown eyes fell on him, and for a minute he thought she might help them.

“Well, if they belong to you, cough up.” She said tartly, holding her hand out to the ninja. “I lost all my winnings when they crashed into me. It blew away: gone. You lot owe me 100,000 ryo.”

“We're not paying you 100,000 ryo.” One of the ninja scoffed. “Get lost lady.”

The woman scowled. “If you don't reimburse me the money that these kids lost me, then I'll just take the brats as collateral: I can sell 'em on the black market or something. Whatever.” She grinned toothily at the two of them, and Sasuke realised with sudden horror that this woman looked to be drunk. So much for rescue. Mentally he resigned himself for a beating and being shoved back in that gloomy little room.

“Look, don't make us get rough...” Their feeder took a threatening step closer to the woman. “Leave, before we make you.”

Naruto looked between the two in alarm. Neither of them wanted any civilians to get hurt and it looked like this drunk woman was going to end up collateral in their ill-fated escape.

“Make me, moron.” The woman flicked her light blonde hair over one shoulder, staring down the ninja in front of her. “If you think you have enough balls to take _me_ on.”

He lunged forward, grabbing towards the woman's neck as Sasuke flinched. But the woman didn't get caught in a strangle hold, like he was expecting. She expertly dodged to the side and drove her knee into the tender flesh of the man's belly. Then she flicked her leg out and kicked, sending the ninja flying off down the street like a soccer ball. He only stopped when he collided with a wooden cart with a sickening crunch, smashing the thing halfway to pieces.

Sasuke and Naruto just  _gaped_ at her.

“You-!” The other ninja slipped into a taijustsu stance and lashed out at her now, but again she was too quick. She sidestepped his punch and shot one of her own right into his abdomen, throwing him back against the wall of the gambling house across the street with so much force that his body actually formed a crater in the cheap plaster, and he tumbled to the ground like a puppet with cut strings.

The blonde woman resettled her green haori around herself as she sniffed in the direction of the drooling ninja who tried to attack her. “Bastards.”

Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a look. Sasuke was not quite sure what was going on. Should they run...?

“Don't even think about it brats!” The woman barked, turning her sharp gaze on them. “You two owe me money!”

The three of them just stared each other down, no one daring to move. Running away was definitely off the table now. Sasuke knew that he didn't want to end up a crater in a wall, if nothing else. But was this strange woman really so much better than their original captors? She mentioned  _selling them on the black market!_

“Tsunade! I managed to find us a place to....” a second woman had joined the mix now, jumping down from a rooftop and into the mess that used to be a rather nice section of street. The dark haired woman's face fell as she took in the carnage. “...oh... _Tsunade_... what happened?”

The woman in the green haori – Tsunade – rolled her eyes at the other woman. “What do you think damn well happened? My luck finally caught up with me.” She sighed heavily. “Let's just take my 'winnings' back to the inn and talk about it there.”

“Okaaay...” The other woman trailed off, looking around. “Where are your winnings? Even you couldn't have lost 100,000 ryo in such a short amount of time.”

Tsunade grimaced. “It blew away.” She looked downright pained at the thought. “When these  _brats_ with no manners crashed into me.”

“Hey!” Naruto piped up.

Tsunade glared at him, shutting him up, before turning back to the other woman. “So, since they owe me, these two brats are officially my winnings until I somehow manage to squeeze some money out of them.”

The dark haired woman looked from Tsunade to Sasuke, to Naruto, back to Tsunade. “These... boys... are your... awww!  _Tsunade_ !”

“Just roll with it, Shizune!” Tsunade flapped a hand at her.

“But-!”

“Now, let's get back to the inn, I'm exhausted!” With that Tsunade clapped her hands and gestured for the woman to lead the way. Shizune, sensing that she was fighting a losing battle, just sighed and started to walk off down the street, heading in the direction of the inn that she had booked for the two women. Tsunade set off after her, a slight spring in her step.

Sasuke's eyes immediately sought Naruto's. “Do you think we could-?”

“Maybe she won't notice-”

“Don't make me _drag_ you back to the inn, brats!”

Naruto and Sasuke scrambled to follow.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a decent wait between chapters for this one, hasn't it? I'm really sorry about it, but stuff happened, and what can you do?  
> For the record – I'm a little pissed off with Tsunade, she totally just barged into my fic without asking, and I've had to come up with all sorts of new stuff in order to deal with that. On the upside, that might mean there could be a part three of this little saga to look forward to after I finish 'A Different Goal', but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.


	10. Chapter 10

“Crap.”

That was the first thing that their 'rescuer' said to them as they settled down in the room at the inn. The blonde woman was already nursing a cup of sake, and she looked downright haunted as she stared at them.

“Excuse me?” Sasuke blinked. Was that really how she was going to start this conversation? This woman was _weird._

Tsunade looked like she'd bit into a lemon as she set her cup down on the table by her elbow and pointed at him like he was her personal demon sent from hell to annoy her. “I didn't notice until you turned around.” She said shortly. “You brats aren't just stupid runaways, are you? That's the _Uchiha_ crest on your damn shirt.” She glared at him, giving him the once over with cool brown eyes. “And yeah... now that I've got a good look at you... you're definitely one of those cold hearted snobs – with the smirk and the dark hair and everything.”

Sasuke scowled at her, but bit back the insults he wanted to throw at her. He had no idea who this woman was, but she knew him... or at least she knew his clan. That could be good or bad. Worst case scenario she was an old clan enemy that would bury a kunai in his back the moment he let his guard down, best case scenario she was an ally of Konoha. Either way, it probably wasn't a good idea to insult her until he knew where he stood with her.

“And you...” Tsunade's eyes turned to Naruto in confusion. “You're wearing the Uzumaki crest.”

“Yeah? So?” Naruto glared at her, crossing his arms in defiance.

“I know Uzumaki.” Tsunade told him bluntly. Then a shadow drifted off her face. “I _knew_ Uzumaki.” She corrected. “Bunch of hyperactive red-heads.”

“Red-heads?” Naruto repeated curiously. “Really?”

Tsunade rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Most of them.” She told him. “I've never met a blonde Uzumaki... one of your parents must have had some pretty strong genes to win out over the Uzumaki..... aw shit!”

Was it just because she was drunk, or was this woman just insane? She was making _no_ sense. At all.

In other news she was taking a serious look at Naruto now, eyes taking in every detail of his rather dishevelled appearance, from his spiky blonde hair to his rapidly blinking blue eyes and the whisker-like marks on his cheeks.

“...what?” Naruto asked, uncomfortable with her staring.

“You're a god damn spitting image.” Tsunade sighed. “It's seriously a miracle you're not dead yet. The Intelligence Corps must be working overtime.”

“Huh?”

“Forget it kid.” Tsunade downed her cup of sake. “So... what is Naruto Uzumaki and his Uchiha side-kick doing out here?”

Naruto's eyes widened. “You know my name?”

She rolled her eyes. “It's not particularly hard to figure out who you are.” She said dryly. “Does Uchiha-chan have a name?”

Sasuke scowled deeper at her. “Sasuke.” he bit out shortly.

Naruto looked a little uncertain at her reply to his question. “Uh... is it because... because I'm... uh... the...” he trailed off, looking scared.

Tsunade looked at him sharply. “I see whoever yanked you out of Konoha couldn't keep his mouth shut.” She said. “For the record, it's an S-ranked secret, so only if _you_ say it aloud can we actually come out and talk about it.”

Naruto just looked blank. “Why do I have to say it?” He wanted to know.

“Because the only two people in Konoha that can reveal the secret to other people without being executed for treason are you and the Sandaime.” Tsunade told him, refilling her sake cup. “You because it's _your_ secret and him because he's the Hokage and he can do what he likes.” She pulled a face.

“Oh.” Naruto's face fell. “So... it is true... I've got the nine tails sealed in me.”

“Yeah.” Tsunade threw back her cup of sake. “What's the big deal?”

Naruto's mouth dropped open. “What's the big deal?!” He exploded, shooting to his feet. “I have a _demon_ sealed in me! And no one ever thought to tell me?!”

Tsunade blinked up at him. “Hmph. Guess you _are_ an Uzumaki.” She said mildly. “Always with the yelling and jumping...”

“Tsunade-san!”

“Look, calm down...” Tsunade tugged on his shirt and yanked him back into his seat. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken it so lightly. It's a big deal to you.”

“And it's not to you?” Naruto asked, puzzled. “You do know that I have a demon sealed in me, right?”

“So did my grandmother.” Tsunade told him bluntly. “One of the loveliest ladies I've ever known. Her honey crunch cookies were to _die_ for.” She paused, wrapped up in a memory. “Actually, I think I nearly did beat Jiraiya half to death for stealing one out of my bento, way back when....”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. This conversation was touching, really, but it was going nowhere fast. “You're a Leaf ninja.” He said quickly. “Right?”

Her sharp gaze was immediately fixed on him, and he felt a little cold. It was like all the ease in her posture was sucked out the moment that he labelled her a Konoha shinobi. Sasuke shivered a little: had they stumbled across a Konoha missing-nin or something? She didn't really seem to have much love for the village at all, if her body language was anything to go by.

“Not anymore.” Tsunade said softly, her gaze dark. “Not really.”

“Then... you're a missing-nin?” Naruto gulped, watching her nervously.

Sasuke's whole body tensed up. It was entirely possible that they'd escaped the frying pan only to trip into the fire. He sensed this woman was nothing like the thugs that kidnapped them, and it was entirely possible that she might bear a big enough grudge against the village to take it out on them.

“Relax.” Tsunade snorted. “I'm just a wandering drunk. Sensei hasn't labelled me rouge yet.”

“Sensei?” Naruto wanted to know.

“The Sandaime.” Tsunade bit out. “He was my teacher back when I was a genin... but that was a long time ago...” Her refilling of her sake cup was a little more hasty this time, and she only relaxed when she'd totally downed the cup again. Evidently thinking of her childhood team was not a good memory for her.

Sasuke's eyes widened. “No way...” he breathed. “You're one of the Sannin!”

“The what?” Naruto turned to look at him in confusion as Tsunade glared, gripping her cup with white knuckles.

“The Sannin.” Sasuke repeated for Naruto's benefit. “The Third Hokage's students. They were heroes in the second and third wars.” Sasuke frowned, trying to dredge up memories of war stories that circled the clan and hazily remembered history classes at school. “The Toad Sage Jiraiya, Orochimaru the snake summoner and The Slug Princess Tsunade.”

Naruto wrinkled his nose. “But... the Second war was _ages_ ago, that would totally make her an old lady!”

Slowly the two of them turned to look at the 'young' woman sitting at the table, throwing back sake like water. She didn't look a day over twenty five. She narrowed her eyes at them.

“I don't really like hearing that name these days.” She said irritably. “The Sannin don't exist anymore, not for a long time. And the 'Slug Princess' thing is just a bit tacky.”

There was a sound of the door sliding open and shut again. “Do you prefer 'The Legendary Sucker'?” Shizune said tartly, setting a plate of rice balls down onto the table and settling herself down on a cushion.

Tsunade glared at her. “Slug Princess it is.” She sniffed.

“So... you _did_ fight in the Second war?” Naruto said curiously.

“Yeah... unfortunately.” Tsunade said sourly.

“So... you _are_ an old lady?”

Tsunade's right eye started to twitch, and Sasuke slowly reached out to tug at Naruto's sleeve, getting a bad feeling about where this conversation was heading. He really needed his best friend to shut up right about now.

“ _Old_?” Tsunade hissed. “I'm... I'm not that old! Not even fif– uh... I'm _not old!_ ”

“You're not a Nee-san.” Naruto frowned. “I bet you're barely even a Ba-san! You're totally a Baa-chan!”

“That's it you little TWERP!”

* * *

 

 

Ten minutes later, Tsunade was cross, Naruto was still stubbornly calling Tsunade 'Baa-chan', the room looked like a small hurricane had swept through it, Sasuke wanted to be anywhere else but there and Shizune looked like she was feeling something similar.

At least they saved the rice balls from the carnage. Sasuke was hungry enough to eat anything; after a couple of days of nothing but stale bread even simple rice balls tasted like heaven.

“Anyway brats, you never answered my question: what are you doing so far from Konoha?” Tsunade scowled at the two of them, looking like the alcohol she was knocking back wasn't doing anything at all to help with a growing headache.

Naruto and Sasuke exchanged looks. “We were kidnapped.” Sasuke said bluntly. “We don't even know where 'here' is.”

Shizune made a gasp of dismay from the side, like she really felt sorry for their predicament, but Tsunade snorted out a laugh.

“You were kidnapped.” She rolled her eyes. “Of course you were.”

Naruto frowned, hands clenched. “You don't believe us?!”

Tsunade waved a hand at him. “Don't get your panties in a twist, kid, I believe you just fine. I'm just laughing at the irony of the universe.”

“Irony?” Sasuke wanted to know.

“I won big just before you brats came crashing into my life.” Tsunade said darkly. “Nothing good ever happens when I win.”

“But you rescued us from our kidnappers.” Naruto stared blankly at her. “How is that a bad thing?”

“Good thing for you midgets, maybe.” Tsunade said. “But it's definitely a _bad_ thing for me. Now I've got to do the right thing or something and make sure you get back to the village okay.”

“You'll help us get home?” Naruto whooped for joy, pumping a fist in the air. “Thanks Baa-chan!”

Tsunade glared at the term of address, but chose to pour herself another cup of sake instead of calling the boy out on it. “Well... I can't just point you in the right direction and hope you get there on your own.” She said. “You brats look the type to get yourselves kidnapped again if I don't escort you there.”

“So... we're really going back to Konoha?” Shizune piped up from the corner, sounded a little awed. “Just like that?”

Tsunade sighed. “It's not like we have a lot of choice, Shizune. There isn't a Konoha outpost around here for us to dump them at. It'll be faster just to take them back ourselves.” She looked away. “...and I'm not quite enough of a heartless bitch yet to abandon them. They're just kids. They shouldn't be out here on their own.”

Sasuke frowned as he picked up on something different in Tsunade's voice now. Something quiet and a little sad. From the expression on Shizune's face, he guessed that somehow he and Naruto had struck some sort of trigger in Tsunade that compelled her to grudgingly help them. Maybe long dormant maternal spirit or something? Sasuke had no clue, but he was grateful for it all the same.

“Thank you, Tsunade-sama.” Sasuke bowed his head. “We'll do our best not to bother you.”

He elbowed Naruto. “Uh... yeah... what Sasuke said, Baa-chan.” Naruto ducked his head too as Tsunade rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, whatever brats.” She huffed. “I'm not doing it for you anyway: Sensei will owe me big time for doing this.” She paused, eyes lingering on Naruto, who was practically vibrating with excitement. Sasuke remembered that she said that she was familiar with the Uzumaki family, and by the sounds of it Naruto was a fairly typical clan member personality wise. “ _Big time._ ” Tsunade repeated in a mutter, eyes still fixed on Naruto.

Sasuke just prayed they made it back to Konoha before Naruto pissed Tsunade off too much. Her right eye was starting to twitch a little in annoyance already.

* * *

 

They _would_ have packed up and left at dawn the very next day... if Tsunade hadn't been horrendously hung over and stubbornly refused to get out of bed. Shizune guiltily apologised to them and started mixing together some sort of hang-over cure for her shishou while Naruto and Sasuke ate breakfast. The younger woman hadn't spoken all that much the day before, preferring to sit back and let Tsunade take the wheel in the interrogation of their two newest companions, so it was over breakfast that Naruto made up for lost time chatting with her, hoping to make a new friend.

“Shishou can be... difficult...” Shizune told them both. “But she's not as bad as she'd like people to believe.”

Sasuke snorted over his tea and took a sip instead of saying what he really thought about Shizune's reassurances. Naruto on the other hand seemed to look relieved.

“So... she wouldn't have really sold us to get back the money she lost?” Naruto asked.

Shizune rolled her eyes. “Tsunade-sama would never.” She said firmly. “She loves children.”

Naruto and Sasuke stared at Shizune blankly, thinking of the rude and antagonistic woman they had met yesterday.

“Well... uh... she loves children in her own way...” Shizune muttered, throwing a last pinch of herbs into the tea cup she was preparing Tsunade's hangover cure in. Still feeling Naruto and Sasuke's flat looks of disbelief on her, the woman hastily stood and excused herself to go and give the finished concoction to the old lady.

By the time that Tsunade had dragged herself out of bed and got ready to leave, Naruto was practically bouncing off the walls with impatience and Sasuke was running out of things to distract him with. Sasuke knew that the ease of their journey home depended a lot on him keeping Naruto from annoying Tsunade too much, but he couldn't help but feel it was a bit of a lost cause. Keeping Naruto quiet was a full time job, and even then he wasn't all that successful. Naruto was just loud and annoying by nature. Sasuke was well used to it by now, but by the way that Tsuande was clutching her head and wincing, she didn't appreciate his friend's enthusiasm one bit.

They set off for Konoha around mid-morning at a reasonable walking pace. Sasuke was on edge from the moment they left the inn to the moment they cleared the city limits. He knew that they were technically being guarded by a legendary kunoichi who could eat their kidnappers for breakfast and her apprentice (who Sasuke suspected was a lot more skilled than her quiet demeanour let on), but that didn't mean he didn't feel awfully exposed strolling through streets they had been running for their lives down the day before.

Sasuke thought that he managed to keep his unease off his face and unnoticed by the two women escorting them, but Shizune did take it upon herself to walk rather close to him as they left the city. She said nothing, but it was embarrassingly obvious that she was staying close to reassure him.

By the time that they had left the city behind Sasuke started feeling much better, and Shizune drifted away now that he was no longer so tense. As the sun rose further into the sky, Naruto started bullying him into playing stupid word games like shiritori and I spy. Because Naruto's happy-go-lucky personality was seemingly infectious, Shizune happily joined in as well. Tsunade required more poking, but grudgingly started contributing words to their shiritori word chain after a while.

For a while Sasuke could almost believe they were just on a friendly walk, not being escorted back to the village by a couple of strangers after escaping a kidnapping attempt.

Naruto screwed up his face, desperately trying to think of a word. It was his turn, and he was stuck. “Ho....” He muttered. “Ho...”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Naruto would eventually find a word that started with 'Ho'. It was a little surprising that he hadn't already. Sasuke thought that Naruto would have jumped all over that kana like a demented monkey.

“AH!” Naruto exclaimed. “HOKAGE!!!!” He pumped his fist in the air in excitement.

Sasuke couldn't help but roll his eyes again. It took the blonde long enough to make the connection between 'Ho' and 'Hokage'. Now that Naruto _had_ made the connection Sasuke braced himself for the hour long rant about Naruto's future dream. Any mention of the Hokage was enough to set Naruto off. The other boy was nothing if not enthusiastic.

“What are you so excited about midget?” Tsunade snorted. Sasuke winced. That was an open invitation for Naruto to explain in explicit detail about his dream if he ever heard one.

“Hehe!” Naruto giggled. “Because Hokage is a cool word!” He said happily. “You know, I'm gonna be Hokage one day Baa-chan, just watch!” He puffed up his chest and grinned brighter than the sun shining above them. “Isn't that cool?”

“Cool....?” There was a loud crunching noise, and Sasuke looked in alarm to see that the bossy old lady had crushed her water canteen in one hand. The look on her face was dark, her golden brown eyes narrowed and her mouth set in a grim line. “You want to be Hokage, brat?”

Naruto's smile faltered, edging into a frown. “Yeah! I'm gonna be Hokage, then everyone in the village will see how awesome I am!”

“Of all the idiotic...” Tsunade clicked her tongue. “Give up on it brat. Being Hokage is a shit job. No one but a utter fool would do it.”

Naruto's face blanched white at Tsunade's hissed reply. “But the Hokages... they're heroes! Especially the Yondaime!”

“Didn't stop them from dying though, did it?” Tsunade pointed out cruelly. “Life isn't something that should be gambled so easily boy. Only idiots throw their lives away for such a dream as 'being Hokage'.” She snorted. “Do yourself a favour. Keep your head down, look out for yourself and your friends. That way you might live long enough for someone to call _you_ Baa-chan.”

“But I'm a boy, they'd call me _Jii_ -chan.” Naruto said stubbornly, completely missing Tsuande's point. He was scowling at Tsunade now, his good mood entirely evaporated.

“At the rate you're going, they're only ever going to call you 'brat', so it doesn't really matter, does it?” Tsunade said. “ _My_ Jii-chan gave up everything to achieve peace, and when he died in the middle of his dream, life just went on and people kept dying. Hokage is a fool's dream.”

Naruto made a noise of frustration. “Then he didn't try hard enough!” He exploded. “I'm gonna be Hokage, and I'll show you! I'll beat your Jii-chan and everyone else!”

Tsunade glared at him. “Good luck beating the Shodai Hokage, kid.” She said bitterly. “People have been trying and failing to do even _half_ as well as Jii-chan at this peace crap for _decades_.”

Naruto's mouth fell open in shock as Tsunade turned a cold shoulder and marched ahead of the group, pointedly ignoring them all. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she wished to just leave them all there in the middle of the road, but the last remaining shreds of her common sense stopped her from abandoning them.

For now.

Naruto didn't move for a long moment, and Sasuke exchanged a look of confusion with Shizune, who simply looked grim and resigned at this turn of events. The young woman nodded ahead at Tsunade, who was walking ahead without them, then looked pointedly at Naruto. As Shizune turned to start walking ahead herself, Sasuke darted to Naruto's side, anxious about being left behind.

“Naruto...”

“You don't think I'm a fool... do you?” Naruto's voice was strange, and he was staring after Tsunade with a glazed, dull look in his eye.

“No.” Sasuke said firmly. “There's nothing stupid about your dream.”

“She said...”

“I don't care what a bitter old lady said!” Sasuke snapped. “Are you going to give up just because she told you to? I thought you were better than that!” His voice rose as Sasuke realised that he was actually getting angry at Naruto for this, despite opening his mouth to comfort him initially. Then again, Sasuke wasn't exactly the comforting type anyway, and for some reason it pissed him off that Naruto might give up on his dream just because Tsunade said some awful things to him.

After a moment of thought, Sasuke realised that he himself had invested a lot in Naruto's dream already. That's why he was so mad. He had no idea when it started, but at some point in the last couple of months he'd stopped thinking 'if Naruto becomes Hokage' and started thinking ' _when_ Naruto becomes Hokage'.

If Naruto gave up, Sasuke might just give up too. On everything. What was the point in trying if the most hard-working, determined person he knew couldn't keep going?

Well... wasn't that a frightening thought for him to have?

Naruto scowled at Sasuke, blinking the dull look away from his eyes. “Wha...? Hell no! I'm gonna be Hokage, no matter what the stinky old lady says! I'll be even greater than the Shodai Hokage, just you wait!” He clenched his fists and glared back at Sasuke, as if daring him to disagree.

Sasuke smiled. “Right.” He said quietly. “Of course.” He tugged at Naruto's shirt sleeve. “Come on moron, let's get going before they leave us behind.”

The hours of walking after that were silent and tense, a lifetime away from the cheerful morning of games they had enjoyed up until that point. Sasuke did his best to distract Naruto from the argument, but he seemed to prefer spending the rest of the day burning a hole through Tsunade's back with his eyes. Tsunade, on the other hand, did her level best to ignore her unwanted travelling companions, only addressing Shizune.

Sasuke was very, very happy when they reached a inn at the end of the day. Upon arrival at the inn Shizune organised for the group to have two rooms. One for Tsunade and Shizune, the other for Naruto and Sasuke. After a tense dinner, the two groups parted and retreated to their separate rooms, relieved to finally get away from each other.

* * *

 

“ _Sasuke! Sasuke! Where are you?”_

_The boy looked up, jolting upright in alarm. “Mama?” He called uneasily, reacting to the panicked cry he could hear above the crowd. “Mama?” The small boy's lip started to tremble as he realised his mother was not standing right next to him as he examined the colourful masks on display._

“ _Sasuke!”_

_Tears blurred his eyes as he realised that his mother's voice was getting fainter. She was looking in the wrong direction for him, and she was getting further and further away._

“ _Mama!” Sasuke cried over the crowd, wiping his palm over his watering eyes. Leaving the mask stall behind, he dived into the crowd of festival goers, pushing his way towards where he had heard his mother calling for him._

_No one seemed to care about the four-year-old boy that was trying to wriggle his way through the crowd. They bumped into him, jostled him, turning him around so he got disorientated and knocked him over. His breath started to quicken as he realised that he couldn't even hear his mother's cries anymore, and he had no idea which direction he was supposed to head in anymore._

_Not caring about being a big boy like his Nii-san anymore, Sasuke started to cry, hiccuping for his mother miserably through each sob. None of the people around him seemed to care about the lost little boy sobbing his heart out. Nobody so much as spared him a glance. They were all engrossed in their own little worlds, too busy enjoying the festival with their own friends and family to care about him._

_Clenching his fists, Sasuke rubbed his tears away and started to push his way through the crowd again, hoping that he was going in the right direction. As he walked grimly on, he noticed the crowd changing. The racial diversity of the wider village gave way to throngs of people with dark hair and even darker eyes. Colourful yukata melted into the muted fabrics that his relatives favoured: dark blues, browns, maroons and blacks. A ninja slipped past him with the sign of the Konoha Military Police stitched onto his shoulder. The festival lights dimmed, the bight lanterns that had decorated the street around him earlier disappearing._

_Sasuke's breath hitched, a sense of foreboding creeping up on him. He quickened his pace, desperate to reach his mother before something bad happened. He didn't know what, but he was certain that if he didn't find his mother soon he might never see her again._

_Then the lights went out._

_The street was plunged into darkness as the crowd surged in panic. A scream ripped through the air, breaking the quiet chatter that had dominated the street until now. The people around him dissolved into chaos, trampling all over each other in an attempt to get away from the screams._

_Sasuke swallowed back his own screams as he bolted, trying to run away with getting tripped by the crowd. His eyes burned, and he knew that he was crying again, but he couldn't stop._

_Everyone was screaming now. They pushed and pulled each other, caring for nothing else but their own ability to flee. Something was coming, and Sasuke had no idea what. He only knew that he had to get away. His legs were too short though, and he couldn't run as fast as the ninja of the clan. It almost seemed like he was running in one spot, not moving a single inch from where he started._

_Something wet hit him, soaking him to the skin. Sasuke stumbled and fell to his knees on the street, letting out a wild cry of fear. He tried to get up, but his legs were too weak. They couldn't support his weight and he fell to the ground once again._

“ _Mama!” He cried. “Mama!”_

_He tried to wipe away his tears again, but that only made his eyes sting worse. That's when he realised what the liquid dripping over him was._

_Blood._

_He was covered in blood._

_Sasuke screamed, staring down at his red-stained hands. “MAMA!” He cried. “MAMA!”_

_She didn't answer. Sasuke looked up, hoping to see a face he recognised in the crowd surrounding him. An aunt, uncle, cousin: anyone._

_There wasn't a crowd anymore. The street was silent and still. Surrounding Sasuke were the bodies of fallen Uchiha, oozing blood into the gutters and abandoned like trash._

“ _Mama...” Sasuke whimpered, curling up into a ball. “Mama, help me...”_

_He sniffled into his sticky shirt. “Nii-san...” He whimpered. “Nii-san... Nii-san...”_

* * *

 

“Nii-san...” Sasuke moaned as his eyes fluttered open. “Nii-san...”

The ceiling above him was dark. Not a speck of luminescent paint in sight. For a moment, Sasuke stopped breathing, confused and disorientated. The room was quiet.

Too quiet.

Why couldn't he hear the sound of his brother's breathing?

Where was Itachi?

Sasuke gasped, his breath coming back as his lungs burned in protest. He felt dizzy and sick, heaving dry breaths that didn't seem to be sending any oxygen to his brain at all. Sasuke lashed out, thrashing his blankets out of the way and jolting himself upright. He clutched at his chest, which was now starting to sting with pain.

He still couldn't breathe. Why couldn't he breathe? Where was all the air?

Hot tears ran down his cheeks, but he barely noticed they were there. All he could think about was the fact that there wasn't any air, and his chest felt hot, and his brother _wasn't there._

Itachi wasn't there.

Where was Itachi?

His hands felt sticky, and the dream came back in full force. He stared down at his hands. In the darkness they didn't look like his hands. They were shaking, and they still felt sticky. Was that blood? THERE WAS BLOOD ON HIS HANDS!

Sasuke stumbled out of his futon, lunging for the sliding door to his right. His hand scrabbled for the edge of the door, trying to tug the thing open but not having any luck. A few moments of scratching later he ripped the thing wide open and fell out onto the wooden veranda with a muted _thud!_

He was outside now, but there still wasn't any air! He couldn't breathe!

Sasuke staggered forward. Before he pitched himself off of the veranda and onto the pavement of the courtyard in front of him, Sasuke grabbed one of the support poles, clutching onto it for dear life as he slid to his knees.

There still wasn't enough air, and now he couldn't see, because there was water in his eyes and his eyes _burned_ and his chest _burned_ and _where was Itachi?!_

“Shhh...” A hand rubbed at his back, travelling in a circular motion. “Shhh, Sasuke. It's okay. You're okay.”

Sasuke couldn't do anything but choke around the heaving, desperate breaths he was sucking in.

“Don't think Sasuke. Just listen. Breathe in.”

Sasuke obeyed. The voice was calm. Nice. He could listen to a voice like that.

“Breathe out.”

Sasuke let go of the breath he was holding, trying to focus on the circles the hand was rubbing into his back.

“Breathe in.”

Sasuke swayed a little.

“Breathe out.”

The moon was full tonight. It was very bright.

“In.”

It was cold.

“Out.”

But that made sense. It was December after all.

“In”

Itachi had promised them all that they could have a big snow fight together.

“Out”

Sasuke wondered if Naruto would like to join in too.

“In.”

They could be on the same team.

“Out.”

Maybe they could made a snow fort.

“In....”

Sasuke's eyes fluttered a little, and he realised that the air had come back. He could breathe again.

“...Out....”

How about that?

He blinked sleepily, gingerly letting go of the wooden pillar he had been hugging for dear life and sitting up straighter. Then he turned to face the source of the voice.

Tsunade looked back with a calm expression, humming a little as she continued to rub circles on his back.

“Tsunade-san...” Sasuke squeaked. “...I... I didn't....”

“Slow breaths Sasuke.” Tsunade told him quietly. “It's okay. Take your time.”

Sasuke took another shuddering breath, trying to gather his thoughts. Obviously, he'd just had a panic attack. It had most likely been triggered by the nightmare. Nothing that hadn't happened before, but usually it was Itachi or Matsu rubbing circles into his back as he calmed down. Hearing Tsunade hum quietly as she sat there and waited for him to feel better was almost jarring.

Who knew that such a sharp and domineering woman had it in her to be so nurturing and calming?

“Thank... thank you.” Sasuke muttered, ducking his head. “I think... I'm alright now.”

The circles on his back stopped, and a hand reached up to pat his head instead. “Good kid.” Tsunade murmured.

Sasuke couldn't help but let a small sniffle escape. Why did Tsunade have to remind him so much of his mother right now?

He didn't look up at the rustling of fabric that signalled that Tsunade was moving. He felt her shift from her place at his back to a seat on the edge of the veranda. She settled down into a seat next to him that wasn't so close that she was crowding him, yet was still close enough that he could lean into her with ease if he wanted.

For a moment the two of them sat in silence, staring out at the courtyard. Sasuke craned his neck to look up at the full moon. It was was a rather pretty night, now that he was getting a look at it without the haze of a panic attack covering his vision. There was a bite of frost in the air, like it might snow at any minute, but there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

He could see the stars.

_Nii-san would like it here_. Sasuke thought wistfully.

Itachi knew a lot about stars. He was the one who first showed Sasuke how to navigate using constellations. Most ninja knew how to do that though, it was the fact that Itachi knew so much more that made it fascinating. He pointed out pictures in the sky, telling Sasuke all of the folk stories about the constellations. When he was little, he used to sneak into Itachi's room at night and beg him to take him outside for story time.

Sometimes Sasuke couldn't help but think that Itachi was ill-suited to being a shinobi. He would have been much happier as a scholar, or some sort of poet. He was sometimes just too gentle for the harsh world they lived in.

Tsunade still hadn't said anything, and Sasuke dimly realised that she was waiting for him to speak, knowing that he probably needed a little distance to sort out his head first. She was content to sit and keep him company until the last dregs of the nightmare had dissipated.

“I miss my Nii-san.” Sasuke said quietly.

Tsunade still didn't say anything, so Sasuke decided to press on.

“He's probably really worried about me.” Sasuke said in a small voice. “I said that I would be back before dinner.”

Was that really only a few days ago? It felt like months.

“I'm sure he'll forgive you.” Tsunade said. “There'll be other dinners.”

“Yeah.” Sasuke's chest loosened a little at the thought. Missing a few dinners was not the end of the world, and when he got home they could go right back to eating together every night. He would make extra effort not to be late again, even if he and Naruto were in the middle of plotting an epic prank and he didn't really want to go home just yet.

He just had to hold on a little bit longer, then he would be home with his Nii-san. Home where there were stars painted on the ceiling and the air was breathable.

“Your friend woke up just before you.” Tsunade told him. “He's talking with Shizune. I didn't want to interrupt, so I came out here.” She smiled, but there was a bitter edge to it.

“What's Naruto talking with Shizune-san for?” Sasuke asked curiously. He knew that the two had become friends, but he didn't really think they were close enough for midnight chats.

“Ah... no doubt Shizune is telling the brat all about my dark and tragic past.” Tsunade sighed. “That girl can't leave well enough alone.”

“Oh.” So Shizune was spilling the beans on Tsunade? That sounded like an interesting conversation, and he felt a little miffed that they hadn't thought to include him in their story time.

“You're not going to ask what she's telling him about me?” Tsunade asked curiously.

Sasuke shook his head. “I can ask Naruto later.” He said. “I wouldn't make you talk about it.”

“Damn.” Tsunade chuckled. “Here I was hoping that I could start an information trade here.”

“I'm not telling you about my nightmares.” Sasuke said sullenly. Only Itachi knew for sure what his nightmares were about. Matsu had a good idea, considering that most of the Uchiha clan had similar dreams these days. But still... Sasuke didn't want to talk about it.

“Fair enough kid.”

The two of them lapsed into silence again. Sasuke took a deep breath, closing his eyes and enjoying the crispness of the air in the courtyard. The cold air was doing wonders calming him down. It made everything sharper, more real, like the nightmare had never happened.

“Naruto doesn't have that many people that care about him.” Sasuke didn't open his eyes, but he did feel the tiny start of surprise from Tsunade as she tuned in to what he was saying. “Obviously he didn't know it was because of the fox until a few days ago, but that didn't mean that _other_ people didn't know.”

“I take it most of the village was aware.” Tsunade said regretfully.

“Everyone but the kids, it seems like.” Sasuke replied. “Naruto's been glared at, insulted, thrown out of buildings, tripped, shoved, excluded and cheated. Yet every time someone pushes him down, he gets right back up again, vowing to try harder.”

Tsunade snorted, and it didn't take a great leap of imagination for Sasuke to guess what she was thinking. Only a few months ago, he'd thought the same thing about the blonde: _What an idiot._

“For years, the only person that cared whether he lived or died was the Sandaime.” Sasuke clenched his fists. “Then Iruka-sensei started giving him a fair shot at school last year.” Sasuke paused. “But I'm pretty sure that I'm Naruto's first friend.”

Sasuke opened his eyes and turned to look at Tsunade searchingly. The woman's face was unreadable, like she had no idea why Sasuke was telling her this nor what she was supposed to make of it.

“I used to think he was such a moron.” Sasuke said regretfully. “He's clumsy, he still counts on his fingers during maths class, he doesn't really eat anything other than ramen, his chakra control is _horrible_ and his taijutsu _sucks_. He's dead last at school.” Sasuke felt oddly calm, telling Tsunade all this. “It'll be a miracle if he graduates, you know?”

Tsunade huffed a laugh, but she was still looking at him curiously. She still had no idea what Sasuke was trying to tell her.

“And he's going to become Hokage.” Sasuke said firmly.

“You sound sure.” Tsunade's voice was very quiet.

Sasuke shrugged. “When Naruto says he's going to do something, he does it. He never goes back on his word.” Sasuke smirked. “So yeah, I believe that Naruto will become Hokage one day. I'm going to be right there with him, watching his back.”

Tsunade didn't say anything.

“Naruto hasn't figured out yet that he doesn't want to be Hokage for the recognition.” Sasuke explained. “I know better. Naruto loves Konoha. He wants to protect it. He wants to change it into a place where no kid grows up like him ever again.” Sasuke nodded. “He'll figure it out eventually.”

“And you're going to help him get there?” Tsunade asked. “Weird goal for a kid. I thought most of you midgets aimed for the top. I haven't met one yet aiming for second-in-command.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Well, now you have.” He said. “Someone has to watch Naruto's back. Even Hokages have weak spots. With me there he'll make it to the time that kids start calling him Jii-chan.”

Tsunade didn't say anything, but she starting humming quietly as she looked out into the courtyard again. Her face looked contemplative, like the hostilities of earlier in the day were forgotten.

“I guess... that's a nice dream to have.” She admitted finally.

“I thought so too.” Sasuke smiled, looking back up at the stars. “Naruto doesn't hesitate to dream big.”

“I was talking about _your_ dream.”

Sasuke turned to look at Tsunade again, his mouth falling open a little in surprise. Tsunade smiled at him. She reached out and patted him on the head and got to her feet slowly. Before Sasuke could say another word, she'd wished him goodnight and disappeared back into the inn, leaving the young Uchiha alone with his thoughts and the cold night air.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's block hit hard after the last chapter, but I managed to push past it to bring you chapter 10! Like I said last chapter, Tsunade has barged into this story without asking, and by the looks of this chapter she won't be satisfied until she's a main character too. On the bright side I've had a ball writing her. There's something about Tsunade that I just really like XD
> 
> On another note, this chapter Sasuke has a pretty bad panic attack. That was such a tough scene to write, considering I based it off panic attacks that I've had myself (Not that I was freaking out about the same sort of heavy stuff that Sasuke has to deal with). It was worth putting myself through that though if I managed to get across what Sasuke was feeling at the end of the day, so let me know how well I did if you have time to drop me a comment :)


	11. Chapter 11

Whatever Shizune told Naruto last night must have been convincing, Sasuke decided as he observed the breakfast table. Things were not overly friendly, but Naruto had decided to forgo his frosty silent treatment from yesterday in order to become more like his chattier self. Tsunade looked a little more tolerant as well, which made Sasuke wonder if his own words last night had done anything to help change her mind.

Sasuke just quietly ate his breakfast and made a mental note to ask Naruto what Shizune had told him later. Tsunade was intriguing. He couldn't quite equate the woman who had patiently guided him through a particularly stressful panic attack with the bitch who had stomped all over a nine-year-old's hopes and dreams yesterday. His gut told him that she wasn't a bad person, but her actions were kind of all over the place.

He really hoped that the kind and patient woman he met last night wasn't the imposter. If it turned out that Tsunade really was a bitch in sheep's clothing he was going to get rather depressed.

At least that morning they weren't hampered by Tsunade having a hangover, so they actually managed to leave early that day. Sasuke's heart lightened as they started moving again. Resting was important, he knew that, but every minute they spent moving was a minute they were getting closer to Konoha.

His impatience to get home must have showed.

“Stop twitching, brat.” Tsunade rolled her eyes at him. “We'll get to the village when we get there.”

Sasuke just scowled at her. So what if he was eager to get home? At least he wasn't whining 'are we there yet?' like some sort of petulant child.

(Speaking of, he gave Naruto no more than another day before he started asking that very question.)

“Shizune and I could get there much faster, you know.” Tsunade said smugly. “It's you academy brats that are slowing us down, seeing as you can't run at shinobi speeds yet.”

Sasuke's scowl deepened. The woman was baiting him now, clearly. He shouldn't have to deal with this. He pointedly ignored her and looked off to the side.

“If you don't like walking slow Baa-chan, then you could always carry us!” Naruto suggested gleefully. “That's what Hound-san used to do when I was little.”

Sasuke shot Naruto a look of incredulity. _Hound-san?!_ That was an ANBU code name if he ever heard one. What was Naruto doing hanging out with masked ANBU? They were supposed to be invisible while they were on duty!

“Not likely.” Tsunade snorted. “You two are too heavy for me and Shizune to cart that far. You can walk.”

Well... if Tsunade wasn't all that keen on playing nice yet, there was no reason for him to keep up with his polite façade.

“I think she just called us _fat_.” He stage whispered to Naruto.

“Hah?!” Naruto cried. “We're not fat!” He looked at Sasuke in alarm. “Are we?” He asked fearfully.

Sasuke gave him a long, careful look. “And now she's giving us body image issues.” He shook his head. “What a bad adult she is!”

Tsunade's mouth dropped open and Sasuke turned a flat stare upon her. She'd annoyed him, and now she was going to get a double helping of his sarcastic tongue today.

She asked for it.

 

* * *

 

“Hey...How much further is it?” Naruto whined. “Are we there yet?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. As usual he was right on the money. Naruto piped up with that question right after their lunch break on their third day of walking.

“We'll get there when we get there brat.” Tsunade grumbled. “What does it matter?”

Naruto screwed up his face, tucking his hands behind his head as they walked. “It doesn't... I guess...” He mumbled. “I'm jus'... _bored_.”

Yeah, Sasuke figured it would be something like that. There was only so long that they could play shiritori until Naruto ran out of words. He didn't exactly have a stellar vocabulary. That and he got tired of losing all the time. I spy quickly got old too, considering that the scenery around them barely changed as they walked. After the fifth time that someone had picked tree, cloud or rock it became obvious the game wasn't fun anymore.

“Take the time to contemplate quietly about your place in the universe.” Tsunade told Naruto.

Naruto and Sasuke stared back at her blankly. Naruto because he had no idea what Tsunade was talking about and Sasuke because he was in disbelief that Tsunade thought that Naruto would actually do something like that.

“Hah?” Naruto said.

“She's telling you to shut up.” Sasuke translated 'helpfully'.

“I didn't say that at all!” Tsunade protested. “I didn't mean...” She shot the stink eye at Sasuke, who just smirked back. He, for one, wasn't bored at all. He'd spent most of the trip so far twisting around Tsunade's words and poking fun at the grouchy old lady. It was the best fun he'd had since the hair dye prank.

“So what _did_ you mean?” Naruto asked suspiciously. He trusted Sasuke a whole lot more than he did Tsunade, so the old lady was going to have a hard time convincing him that Sasuke was twisting things.

Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose. “Never mind.” She said with a sigh. “Just… can’t you play another game or something?”

Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a look, pulling faces at each other. “We’re out of games.” Naruto complained. “The ones we played yesterday are boring now.”

“Maybe we can come up with a new game for you to play.” Shizune said brightly. “I’ll try and remember the rules of the word game I used to play with my old teammates when we were on patrols.”

Naruto pulled a face again. There was no way he was going to be satisfied with word games. He just wasn’t all that good at them, and games you never won were always boring.

Tsunade rolled her eyes. “Okay brats, how about this? Do something useful while you walk: train. Do the leaf sticking exercise or something.”

The two boys turned to stare at her blankly. “Leaf sticking exercise?” Sasuke repeated with a frown.

The grumpiness on Tsunade’s face melted away to be replaced by confusion, followed closely by horror. “Neither of you have any idea what the leaf sticking exercise is, do you?”

They shook their heads. Sasuke had never heard of it, but by Tsunade’s reaction he figured he should have.

Tsunade scowled down at them, but for once it didn’t seem like she was cross at _them._ “What are they teaching midgets these days?” She muttered. “Not even knowing leaf sticking!”

“What is it? Is it hard?” Naruto asked, frowning up at Tsunade.

Tsunade shrugged. “I never found it difficult.” She told them. “It’s the most basic chakra control exercise there is.”

Naruto almost face planted as Sasuke snorted in laughter. There was nothing Naruto hated more than chakra control exercises. He was useless at them to the point of absurdity. He had yet to master the paper exercise they learned at the academy, which used special slips of paper that turned from black to white when chakra was channelled through it correctly. Naruto’s slip of paper stubbornly stayed black most times he attempted the exercise, but one day he managed to turn it white for a split second before the thing burst into flames. Mizuki-sensei had been livid: the paper slips weren’t exactly cheap, and Naruto had been set running laps for over an hour as punishment. Sasuke still had no idea how he managed to set the paper on fire, those things were nigh on indestructible. They had to be, considering that they were teaching tools designed for use by under-tens.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow at their reactions, a silent question in her eyes.

“Naruto sucks at chakra control.” Sasuke explained through his smirk of amusement. Naruto didn’t say anything, but made a very loud groaning noise to go along with the face of disgust he had adopted in the last few minutes.

Tsunade eyed Naruto for a moment as she snorted out some laughter of her own. “Yeah, that sounds about right.” She said.

Naruto’s pout fell off his face immediately as he turned a wide-eyed look of hurt towards their travelling companion. Sasuke joined him in staring at the woman incredulously. Was Tsunade assuming that Naruto’s natural idiotic personality would naturally translate into duncehood at school? Sasuke knew that he’d told Tsunade that Naruto was a bit of a moron the night of his panic attack, but still…

“I’m good at plenty of other stuff!” Naruto hurriedly told Tsunade, obviously jumping to the same conclusion as Sasuke. “Chakra control is just _hard_ , Baa-chan!”

“I _know_.” Tsunade scowled, turning a look of annoyance towards Sasuke, even though he hadn’t twisted any of her words this time around. “I’m just pointing out that it was fairly obvious you’d be terrible at chakra control. Most Uzumaki are, what with their stupidly large chakra reserves. That’s not even taking into account the boost that the fox is giving you.”

Naruto and Sasuke just stared at her.

“What.” Naruto said flatly.

“You mean it’s _expected_ for Naruto to be bad at chakra control?” Sasuke asked, appalled. “Why did no one say anything?!” A burning sensation started to build in Sasuke’s chest. He knew that Naruto would never hold a grudge against another person, but that didn’t stop Sasuke from getting angry in Naruto's place.

Tsunade shrugged. “Well, yeah.” She said. “An Uzumaki girl I knew a long time ago used to set leaves on fire when she tried the leaf sticking exercise. It took her months to get the stupid thing right.”

Well, didn’t that sound familiar?

Naruto, being Naruto, didn't latch on to the hidden implication of what Tsunade had just said; that the girl she had been talking about was probably a relative of his, meaning that Tsunade might have known Naruto's family before they died. He just realised that Tsunade probably had the answer to all his chakra control troubles. Sasuke kept quiet. He figured Tsunade wouldn't appreciate the questions that would come after he pointed out that connection to Naruto.

“Do you know how that girl got better at it?” Naruto asked eagerly. “Is there a trick?”

Tsunade shrugged. “Practice.” She said wryly.

Naruto almost face planted again.

“Tsunade-sama!” Shizune turned back to scowl at the older woman. “That's hardly fair!”

Tsunade waved a hand at her. “Fine, fine. Sheesh... I can't have any fun around here without someone jumping down my throat!” For some reason she turned a scowl towards Sasuke instead of the person who actually just scolded her. “Look – Brats... there are as many chakra control exercises out there as there are ninja. It's part of the reason why clan kids are often so much quicker at learning to control their chakra than civilian kids.”

Sasuke and Naruto stared at Tsunade as she morphed into something akin to a teacher right in front of their eyes. She slipped into lecture mode as easily as Iruka-sensei, which seemed bizarrely out of character for her. Then again, it seemed like Tsunade was doing something out of character every five minutes, switching back and forth from bitter old drunk to responsible adult seemingly at random, so maybe they shouldn't have been that surprised.

“Different clans all have different training methods for their kids, catered to the body types and chakra levels that are common within their extended family.” Tsunade went on. “For example, you, Uchiha-brat, what's the first thing you were taught to do with your chakra?” She pointed at Sasuke, eyebrows raised in question.

Sasuke frowned. He wanted to say the first thing he learned about chakra was the boring control exercise that everyone learned at the academy, but....

“The pebble trick...” He realised. “I can't believe it, but it's probably the pebble trick that my brother showed me.” It was jarring to realise that. At the time, he'd thought the exercise was just a fun little game that his brother had showed him. Now he realised it was part of his early training. Considering that he'd learned the trick as a toddler, it was even more startling to realise just how soon his training had started compared to what he'd originally thought.

“Pebble trick?” Naruto repeated. “What's that?”

Sasuke blinked himself out of the half-forgotten memory of him and his brother playing out in the garden on winter afternoons, collecting small stones. “It's a small heat trick.” He explained. “You channel your chakra into a rock to heat it up. It's really easy.”

“A heat exercise. I figured.” Tsunade nodded. “The Uchiha are predominantly fire natured. It makes sense to start their kiddies on a basic fire technique before anything else.”

“Fire technique?” Sasuke repeated in shock. “But... it was just heating up a rock!”

“Yeah, and how do you suppose you make something hot?” Tsunade pointed out. “By using fire chakra. Seriously, it's not that hard. You'd be surprised at how many little chakra tricks count as elemental jutsu.”

“So Sasuke's family teach him a fire trick first because he's supposed to be really good at it?” Naruto whistled. “That's so cool!”

Sasuke shrugged. It made a lot of sense, now that he thought about it. Piecing together all of the clan training he got in chakra control, he actually did a lot of work training up his fire techniques before he even got to attempt his first 'official' fire release technique: The Great Fireball. It was mind-boggling to realise that he'd actually been subtly pushed into favouring fire all along, simply by the way that his clan trained him. He'd always assumed that he was fire-natured because his first elemental jutsu was the great fireball technique. What if he wasn't?

Interesting.

“Other clans have different exercises they use to train up kids.” Tsunade told them. “Like how the Hyuuga teach their kids how to cast ripples in water without touching it, because most of them turn out to be water types.”

“What about the Uzumaki?” Naruto asked eagerly. “What do they teach their kids?” He was practically bouncing up and down as he waited for Tsunade to reply, and it wasn't hard to figure out why. Not only would it answer the question of how to fix his abysmal chakra control, but it would also be information about the family that Naruto never knew.

Tsunade shifted, suddenly looking a bit uncomfortable. “Well... the Uzumaki...” She bit her lip. “... I suppose they did the ink thing.” She shrugged.

“Ink thing?” Naruto frowned. “What's that?”

“The Uzumaki clan was famous for it's skill with fuinjutsu. So pretty much everything they did came back to ink and calligraphy at some stage.” Tsunade sighed. “Ink and enthusiasm, that's pretty much what made up the Uzumaki clan.”

Sasuke couldn't keep a straight face at that. “Calligraphy?!” He said in glee. “His clan was famous for _calligraphy?!”_ Naruto shot him a glare, but the information was just too funny for Sasuke to stop sniggering. “Have you _seen_ Naruto's handwriting?”

“Shut up.” The other boy said sullenly. “I'm not that bad.”

“It's okay.” Tsunade said. “My handwriting has never been that good either.” She sighed, almost in guilt. “It was even _before_ I became a medic...”

Sasuke stopped sniggering and looked at her sharply, but the comment went seemingly over Naruto's head. The boy took Tsunade's reassurance at face value and cheered up immediately.

_Tsunade is a Senju._ Sasuke thought. _So why would it matter that she has bad handwriting?_ Sasuke's eyes narrowed as he watched Tsunade try to explain one of the Uzumaki clan's basic chakra control exercises. _Unless it **does** matter, and she's hiding it... _

Was Tsunade connected to Naruto's family?

“Can you teach me?” Naruto's loud begging jolted Sasuke out of his thoughts in time to hear Tsunade grudgingly agree to teach Naruto some of the basic Uzumaki chakra exercises.

“Not now.” She told Naruto. “It's not something I can prepare while walking: we need paper and ink and brushes and shit... so wait until we stop for lunch at least.”

“Yay!” Naruto shot straight up in their air, fist pumping for joy. “Uzumaki fun times, here we come!”

It really didn't take much to make Naruto happy, Sasuke thought in amusement.

 

* * *

 

True to her word, Tsunade fished out her writing supplies as soon as they sat down for lunch. As Shizune retrieved the lunchboxes that they had sealed away in a scroll that morning, Tsunade settled herself down under a nearby tree. Naruto hovered near her, practically bursting with excitement. Sensing that this could be a relationship repairing moment between the two blondes, Sasuke hung back, opting to help Shizune with getting out their food instead of intruding on Naruto's lesson. If Tsunade was teaching him a traditional Uzumaki clan chakra technique then the last thing that he should do was intrude.

That didn't stop him from glancing over at the two of them every so often. They were huddled together over a scroll, Naruto watching intently as Tsunade traced out some sort of design using a calligraphy brush.

“I can handle setting out the food if you want to go join in, you know.” Shizune said quietly.

Sasuke jumped, almost dropping a water canteen as he did so. He met Shizune's eyes guiltily. He hadn't meant to stare; he just wanted to make sure that Tsunade wasn't doing anything mean to his friend.

He wasn't curious about how 'the ink thing' could possibly help with Naruto's abysmal chakra control. Not at all.

“Just go.” Shizune took the water canteen out of his hands with a knowing smile and a roll of her eyes.

Damn it. Was he really so transparent?

Scuffing his sandal over the dirt as he turned around, Sasuke slunk off to the tree that Tsunade and Naruto were sitting under, feeling like he was barging into something private just to satisfy his own curiosity. Naruto had never demanded Sasuke teach him any of the Uchiha clan techniques, not even the taijutsu that Sasuke used in most of their practice spars outside the Academy. The least that Sasuke could do was hold his curiosity back the one time that Naruto was actually able to learn some of the traditions of his almost extinct clan.

“Took you long enough, Uchiha-chan.” Tsunade said tartly, not looking up from the scroll she was drawing on. “I was beginning to think I was going to have to send the monkey off to fetch you.”

“I'm not a monkey!” Naruto squawked, waving his hands around a lot like one.

Sasuke just stared at Tsunade. “I thought this was an Uzumaki thing?” He said suspiciously.

“Yeah.” Tsunade said. “But it's not like it's a big secret or anything. Chances are this exercise is going to be useless to you anyway. You don't have the chakra reserves to make it work.”

“So why bother showing it to me?” Sasuke huffed.

Tsunade finally looked up from the scroll, examining him with golden eyes. “Because it's knowledge.” She said simply. “And knowledge for knowledge's sake is sometimes enough of a reason.” Her hand gripped the calligraphy brush just a fraction tighter. “And well... there's the chance...” She cut herself off mid-sentence to glance over at Naruto, then back to Sasuke. “Brats... do either of you know what actually happened to the Uzumaki clan?”

Sasuke and Naruto immediately exchanged a glance. The look in Naruto's eye was odd, and Sasuke immediately knew that Naruto was just as clueless as him about the fate of the Uzumaki clan. Sure, they were peripherally aware that there _was_ an Uzumaki clan. The name cropped up in their history textbooks every so often, just enough to let everyone know that they were a clan of ninja, and that they had a friendly relationship with Konoha, but that was about all that Sasuke knew.

“No.” Naruto answered quietly for the both of them.

Tsunade's eyes narrowed fractionally, an obvious tell that she didn't really expect them to know so little, but she straightened fractionally anyway. Teacher mode Tsunade was making another appearance.

“They weren't a part of Konoha.” She told them both steadily as she continued to work with her brush. “They were the most prominent clan of our closest ally: Uzushiogakure.”

“Uzushiogakure?” Naruto's face screwed up in confusion.

Sasuke was not better off. “Never heard of it.” He said stiffly. “If they're our closest ally, how come we don't hear about them in the village?”

“Because they _used_ to be our closest ally.” Tsunade explained grimly. “The whole village was destroyed in the second shinobi war.”

Sasuke's eyes widened as his blood ran cold. A whole shinobi village, wiped out? He couldn't picture it. The scale of battle that would have been needed to raze a shinobi village to the ground had to be enormous. Hidden villages were built like fortresses. And not like the fancy fortresses that kept nobility safe; fortresses that contained thousands of super-soldiers, ready to fight and die to the bitter end to protect their homes.

“Konoha got the message that they were under siege too late.” Tsunade continued. “By the time we sent ninja to help, there wasn't much left of the place, and all of the survivors had fled.”

“Survivors?” Naruto said hopefully, his eyes lighting up.

_Right_ , Sasuke realised. _Any survivors might have been related to Naruto. Family._

“Don't get your hopes up kid.” Tsunade said bitterly. “When a ninja doesn't want to be found, they can hide themselves pretty thoroughly. We only ever managed to bring a few survivors of the battle to Konoha, and to this day we still have no idea how many actually made it out of the city before it fell.” She shrugged. “But we know that they're out there, because redheads with a penchant for getting into trouble keep cropping up every now and then.”

“Is that why you want me to know the chakra control exercise?” Sasuke blinked with the growing realisation. “In case I ever run into a descendant of an Uzumaki survivor one day?”

Tsunade just shrugged again. “Something like that.” She said. “Now, do you brats actually want to learn the technique or not?”

“Show me! Show me! Show me!” Naruto babbled excitedly, bouncing up and down as the sombre mood dissipated.

 

* * *

 

 

Half an hour later, Sasuke had to grudgingly admit that Tsunade was right: He _couldn't_ do the exercise. He just didn't have enough chakra to make the damn thing work.

Naruto, on the other hand...

“Look! Look!” Naruto waved his hand excitedly at Sasuke, a massive grin on his face. “Look, Sasuke! I'm totally _killing_ it!”

...Naruto was a natural.

The control exercise was simple enough. So simple that Sasuke had to hold back a snort and a snide comment about how Naruto's extended family were probably just as straightforwardly stupid as he was. Drawn on the scroll was some sort of circle, written in rather complicated swirls of plain black ink. The aim of the control exercise was to channel chakra into the circle and force the ink move, expanding and contracting the circle design. The moving ink was interesting in the way that Sasuke had never seen anything like it before. He'd seen seals before, none of them had moved on the paper past the initial drawing of the design.

“Once you get good at it, you can start making other pictures move.” Tsunade told them both. “The circle is the easiest thing to start with as it's got functionality seals built into the picture, but as your control gets better you can move to simple animal doodles and the like.”

“Ooh!” Naruto said appreciatively. “Like a dragon? A dragon breathing fire! That would be awesome!”

Sasuke scowled down at the circle, pointedly ignoring Naruto. It wasn't fair! Why was Naruto able to move on to fire-breathing dragons while Sasuke still couldn't even get the damn circle to move?

“Slow down brat!” Tsunade whacked Naruto around the head. “What did I just say? _Simple_ animals, stupid. Try a fish.”

Naruto pulled a face. “But fish are _boring_ , Baa-chan!”

“Konoha wasn't built in a day.” The woman said. “Here.” She threw the calligraphy brush at Naruto, almost nailing him in the head. “Doodle me a fish on that spare scroll over there. If you can get it to swim, then I'll help you draw your dragon.”

Meanwhile Sasuke was still scowling at his ink circle, wishing that he could set the paper on fire through the power of his glare alone. There hadn't been a training exercise yet that he'd fumbled, let along failed entirely. Tsunade had told him that he wouldn't be able to do it, but part of him hadn't really believed her. After all, he was an Uchiha; he could do _anything._

Except make stupid ink circles move, apparently.

“Put the circle down kid.” Slim hands tugged the paper out of his grip. “You won't be able to do it until you have a few more years on you.”

“Why?” Sasuke asked with a pout. He looked sullenly over to Naruto. “ _He_ can do it.”

“Yeah, because _he_ has jonin level chakra reserves already.” Tsunade told him. “You have high levels of chakra for a brat, but you're still below genin level.”

Sasuke finally let go of the ink circle to stare at Tsunade with wide eyes. “ _Jonin level reserves?_ ” He repeated incredulously.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Tsunade's eyes settled on the boy they were talking about, an unreadable look in her eyes. Naruto wasn't paying attention to the fact they were talking about him, he was too busy trying to get the absurdly bad doodle of a fish he'd drawn to move. “Most Uzumaki have at least chunin level reserves at his age, and having a biju sealed inside him just pushed it that much further.” She paused. “It's said that the most dangerous part of fighting a jinchuriki isn't necessarily the powerful techniques they can throw about; it's the fact that they almost never run out of chakra in a fight.”

Sasuke paled. Like every ninja child one of the first things that he'd learned about chakra was that it was a finite resource. Everyone had a limit, and often life and death fights were decided not by flashy techniques but by who hit that limit first. What Tsunade was saying was that Naruto had the potential to outlast pretty much every other fighter on the planet, which was a practically priceless talent.

The sharingan eyes might even pale in comparison, Sasuke realised dumbly. What use are fancy eyes when one is too tired to activate them?

“But never forget that there is still a disadvantage Sasuke.” Tsundae said quietly. “Big reserves mean that Naruto will never grasp the same level of control as you might be able to. Here.” She pressed a new sheet of paper into his hands. “Try this one.”

Sasuke looked down. The new piece of paper was painted with a spiral of dots, growing smaller and smaller as they reached the centre. The one placed right in the middle of the page was so tiny that Sasuke could barely see it was there.

“Start with the biggest dot and work your way in.” Tsunade said simply. “Make them all glow, Sasuke.”

The first five dots were as easy as breathing. They lit up the moment his chakra touched the paper. Spurned on by the triumph, Sasuke's focus sharpened, and he sent his chakra burning down the line, making the next ten dots light up one by one. The sixteenth dot made him pause, it flickered before holding steady. The next seven dots made him sweat, and his progress slowed. Finally, he reached the twenty fourth dot and frowned. He couldn't get it to light.

“Let it go now.” Tsunade ordered gently.

Sasuke let the paper flutter out of his fingers, feeling fatigued, and looked up to scowl at Tsunade. “What did that prove?” He asked crossly, sore that he had failed yet another exercise.

Tsunade picked up the sheet of paper for him. “Twenty three dots.” She said thoughtfully, looking down at the paper in her hands. The dots had gone dark once again. “Not bad.”

Sasuke continued to scowl.

“I only got nineteen when I tried this exercise for the first time.” She said.

Sasuke looked at her sharply. She was smirking down at him.

“Granted, I was six at the time...” She laughed at the look on his face. “Sasuke, there are thirty dots in total in this spiral. It takes absolutely perfect chakra control to make them all light up.” She demonstrated, and the dots lit up steadily, one by one, until they were all glowing at him. “In general terms, fifteen dots signifies good chakra control.”

Sasuke stiffened, staring blankly at her. She didn't mean that he...?

“Twenty is considered good enough for a chunin.” Tsunade continued. “Twenty five is what is expected out of most jonin.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “So I don't really think that twenty three dots is anything to sniff at, not when it's an Academy student on their first try.” She handed him back the paper. “Care to try again?”

Sasuke took the sheet of paper with hands that shook just a little. What was Tsunade's aim in telling him that his chakra control was almost at jonin level? Surely she had to be joking?

He looked up at the woman through his bangs, afraid to see a mocking grin on her face, ready to tease him about being so gullible. Instead of poking fun at him, Tsunade was looking down at him with sharp, serious eyes, examining his face as if looking for something. For a long moment the two just stared at each other.

“Have you figured out yet _how_ you're going to protect Naruto's back?” Tsunade asked quietly.

“No.” Sasuke admitted.

Tsunade's eyes flickered down to the spiral of dots in his hands, then up at his face. “Hmm.” she said. Then she turned around slowly to go and see what Naruto was doing.

Sasuke just stared after her blankly.

_What was that supposed to mean?_ He wondered.

 

* * *

 

 

Naruto couldn't get his ugly little fish to move around to their tutor's satisfaction until their sixth day of travel. In the end he never got the chance to ask Tsunade how to make a dragon move though.

“Hah! Look at that Baa-chan! Now you have to-”

A _swoosh!_ of wind cut Naruto off, stirring up dust from the road and making them all cough. Sasuke's eyes watered, and he lost sight of everything for a moment while he blinked the water away.

When he looked up, they were no longer the only travellers on the road.

“I suppose you're part of a crew looking for the midgets, then?” Tsunade stared the newcomer down, arms crossed and her most disgruntled expression on her face. “Took you damn long enough.”

Standing a little in front of them, blocking the road to Konoha, stood a man dressed in the black and grey of ANBU. His stance was loose, like he didn't have a care in the world, but the tension in the air was tangible. His mask tilted in response to Tsunade's rude address and Sasuke tried to decipher what kind of animal it was supposed to depict. Like all ANBU masks it was bone white, with only a few splashes of paint to give it colour. In this case it had two curved red markings on the cheeks and eyes rimmed in red. The mask had pointed ears too, so maybe it was supposed to be a–

“Hound-san!” Naruto cried, forgetting the slip of paper in hands and the swimming fish it contained to beam at the ANBU agent in front of him. “You found us!”

At last the ANBU spoke. “Naruto.” His voice was quiet and monotone, as if there wasn't really a person underneath the mask at all, but a machine.

Sasuke shivered, unnerved at the person standing in front of them, but a glance at Naruto revealed that the boy hadn't been turned off at all by the display of non-emotion. Naruto was grinning away, bouncing on the balls of his feet like he was going to dash forward and give the intimidating man a great big hug.

“Loosen up kid.” Tsunade barked out, “I come in peace.”

Sasuke jumped a little as he realised that Tsunade wasn't talking to him, telling him to relax despite the scary person in front of them, but to the ANBU agent himself.

_How old must she be that she can refer to ANBU agents as 'kid'?_ He wondered in amusement.

“Tsunade-hime.” The ANBU agent replied flatly. “How is it that you came to be in the company of Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha?”

“They owe me money.” The excuse was absurd, but Tsunade raised her eyebrows at Hound, as if daring him to question her further on the matter. After seeing Tsunade fight nearly a week ago, Sasuke himself wouldn't have dared. He would have taken her stupid explanation at face value and left well enough alone.

Hound, though, evidently had balls of steel. “And how did they end up in _your_ debt, not the other way around?” A hint of personality finally shone through as the man's playful disbelief made itself known.

Tsunade's eyes narrowed at the allusion to her status as the Legendary Sucker. “They collided with me outside a gambling den in Toutori.” She said. “At the time of said collision I was carrying a great deal of cash, which they made me drop.” She looked at the ANBU agent as if he was stupid and she had to explain everything like he was a child. “Hence they owe me replacement money.”

“I see.” There was a wry undertone to Hound's flat speech now.

There was a long moment of silence as the adults seemingly stared each other down. Neither Tsunade nor Hound moved a muscle. It was a stand-off.

“Kid, if you wanted to keep your identity secret, you really should have covered that stupid hair of yours.” Tsunade finally said. “It's too late now. I know perfectly well who you are. I attended your parents' wedding and I changed your diapers. The only reason that I wasn't the attending medic-nin at your birth was that I got called away on an emergency mission to the wind border.”

“I don't see how that matters.” Hound said stiffly, but his body language shifted every so slightly towards discomfort, like Tsunade's words really did matter a lot.

“Just stop being a standoffish twit and let us continue on our way.” Tsunade rolled her eyes. “There's no need to be difficult about it. If I was planning on kidnapping your precious rescue targets then I would have been smart enough to walk _away_ from Konoha instead of towards it.”

Hound made a noise that seemed to be something like a sigh. His posture slumped, and he waved a hand at them all lazily. “Fine.” He told them. “I will escort you in.”

“Whatever tickles your fancy kid.” Tsunade said in exasperation. “Now...?”

The ANBU agent was gone before they could even blink.

“Eh? Baa-chan, where'd he go?” Naruto said blankly, looking around frantically. “I thought he said he was coming with us?”

Tsunade gestured to the forest lining the road. “He said he would 'escort' us.” She said. “In ANBU stuffy speak, that means he's going to stick to the trees around us and scout ahead, making sure we don't run into any surprise attacks.”

Naruto frowned. “Why would we get attacked?” He wanted to know.

Tsunade shrugged. “We won't. Hound-chan just likes feeling useful.”

_Twang!_ A kunai was embedded in the road at Tsunade's feet. Tsunade just made a rude gesture towards the woods and stepped over it.

“Let's go kiddies!” She said mock-cheerfully. “Not long until Konoha now!”

 

* * *

 

 

Hound must have split off at some point and run ahead to warn them that they were coming, because the Hokage was waiting at the gate when they arrived almost a full day after meeting the ANBU agent.

Sasuke choked down his shock. The _Hokage_ was standing at the gate, patiently waiting for them to arrive.

The _HOKAGE._

Really?

“JIJI!” Naruto bellowed in Sasuke's ear, making a break from their little group to launch himself at the most powerful man in the Land of Fire. The Hokage laughed as he caught Naruto, hugging the boy back like he expected this kind of greeting all along.

“I take it you had quite the adventure, Naruto.” The man said mildly as he set Naruto on his feet once again. “Making new friends as well, I see.”

Naruto grinned up at him. “Uh huh!” He said enthusiastically. “That's Shizune-nee and Baa-chan!” He pointed at the two women behind him excitedly. “Baa-chan is awesome! She punched one of the bad guys through a _wall.”_

Naruto was exaggerating again. According to Sasuke's memories she had only _nearly_ punched that guy through the wall. The details didn't matter all that much though, Sasuke decided, because seeing her do that was awesome enough.

The Hokage turned eyes that sparkled with amusement to Tsunade now. “Baa-chan?” He asked her, smothering a grin.

Tsunade looked like she wanted to punch someone else through a wall, but Naruto interrupted with his own explanation before she could even open her mouth.

“She's Baa-chan even though she looks like a Nee-chan because she's actually super old, Jiji.” Naruto said confidently. “She fought in the second war, she told us, so that makes her old enough to be a Baa-chan.”

Sasuke had the sneaking suspicion that his best friend was rapidly becoming the most likely candidate for Tsunade to punch through a wall next. He glared at Naruto, hoping that his unspoken warning would get through to the dumb blonde through the power of friendship alone.

ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!

“Why you little...!”

Too late. Sasuke winced as Tsunade darted forward and grabbed Naruto by the collar, hoisting him up in the air and shaking him like a naughty puppy.

“I'm not _old!_ ” Tsunade protested, shaking Naruto again. “I'm dignified!”

“A 'dignified' _drunk_.”

Everyone was looking at him.

Oh no.

No!

Sasuke didn't mean to say that _at all_! At least not _out loud!_

“I should have left you brats in Toutori.” Tsunade said flatly. She dropped Naruto, rubbing her forehead like she had a headache. “Nothing good ever happens when I win big.” She muttered.

“On the contrary, Tsunade.” The Hokage said quietly. “Some would say that we were very fortunate that you won big this time. I am one of them.” The old man smiled, but it was a brittle and sad expression. “Thank you for bringing our young ones back. I know it would have been easier for you to look the other way.”

The look on Tsunade's face was strange, almost hurt. “I never would have looked the other way, Sensei.” She said quietly.

Something passed between the two then, Sasuke wasn't really sure what. It probably had a lot to do with the history that the crabby old lady and her teacher shared, but Sasuke had none of the details about that other than the sob story about her dead brother and lover that Naruto had relayed to him the night after his panic attack. The impression that Sasuke had gotten was that Tsunade avoided Konoha because it contained too many painful memories, and not enough living people she loved to combat them. Sasuke could understand that, maybe even better than most people could.

If the look on the Hokage's face was anything to go by though, maybe Tsunade had more living people to love her than she thought.

_Maybe she might come back and visit now._ Sasuke thought, eyeing Tsunade as she continued her awkward interaction with the Hokage.

Was it weird that he hoped that she would?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :) I'm really sorry for the delay between chapters this time. It turned out a lot longer than I intended, mostly due to events beyond my control and family emergencies. I'm hoping that the next chapter will come quicker, but this time I'm not making any promises. Writing has always been something that I need to be in the right mood for, and different stories require different moods. This one has been put on the back burner for a little while as I vent out the events of the last few months with angtsy pieces. 
> 
> On another note, I can happily announce that this fic is nearing it's end, probably not in the next chapter, but maybe in the chapter after that. Whether I continue on to write part three is up in the air right now, but it's a definite possibility.
> 
> Some smart cookies may have already noticed that the ink trick that Tsunade teaches to Naruto and Sasuke is a lot like Sai's drawing techniques. That is deliberate. The little back story in my head is that Sai's fighting skills is based off the Uzumaki chakra control technique that I invented here. Whether it was adapted by Danzo and Sai in ROOT from studying old Uzumaki scrolls or by the Uzumaki themsleves back in the day is up for debate. Sai's justu is very different from the original chakra control technique however due to the way it's been refined to allow for someone without the Uzumaki reserves to use it (mostly by using special chakra inks). Just think of what a true Uzumaki could do with Sai's ink drawings though, if they got the opportunity XD I just thought I'd share that little backstory here, seeing as there's pretty much no way I could ever work this into the story properly, considering there is no reason for Sai to make any sort of appearance.


End file.
